flamie_marc Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 Soo, here's the deal, I've been dating this girl on and off for the last year. We've stopped two times before, mainly because of she was insecure about us and I that wasn't that comfortable around her when we were hanging out with our friends and stuff. Well now, we've been dating good and steady for almost two months and things have been really different, I mean we have talked every day, we say good night and good morning, she have spent more time over at my place then before, it's been easier and very nice. Buuuut, the other day a guy I was playing video games with online from this area, asks if I knew this chick and he referred to the one I'm dating. I said Of course, I'm dating her. His response were "Oh, I heard she was single. She was dating this guy on&off in that town but that didnt work out, I heard from my friend atleast". That had to be me right? Did he know something I didn't? It was very detailed and, I can't say that my first thought was anger. So what I did was I reacted very impulsively, on my way home from work I stopped by her house to get my sweater she had borrowed, and I brought this up. I didn't bring it up nicely though, I merely just asked her point blank if she was talking or seeing someone on the side, since we agreed early one that we were exclusive and were not gonna se other people. She said "No" obv, so I asked if she had told another guy she was single, here she also said "No" which led to me just saying whatever and walked away. I know I could've handled this differently, it's just, my feelings got the best of me and I reacted, not in the best way obv. But yeah, I went home and I felt terrible. So I talked to some friends and stuff to get it out of my system. Some of them were very supportive, but it led to something I didn't expect. I received an email to the public mail I've listed on facebook. It contained a picture of some source code blended with a messenger chat or something. The chat was highlighted and it showed exactly what the guy from the gaming earlier had said to me. And now I was truly upset. I confronted her with it, she was a bit thrown off but promised me it wasn't true. She said that yes, she told him that she was single but it wasn't me she referred to about "it didn't work" and if I had more from the chat it would show that she told more then once that he's just a friend (they went to high school together I think) and that she was dating someone. I don't know what to believe, we have talked about it and I did apologize for not bringing this up in a better and more grown up way, instead of just accusing her I could've sat down and asked about it, I know that, I made a mistake and that's how we learn right? Were human, we see it, we do it, we learn from our mistakes and we keep on going. I wish she could see it from my side but that's one of her flaws, she can't be wrong. Never. I've come to peace with this but a little part of me just hoped for once she would show some humility. She did atleast admit that somethings she told this guy came out the wrong way since they were talking over facebook She also pointed out that she liked ME, not him, not any other guys, just me, otherwise she wouldn't have dated me and that she's disapointed in me and it feels like I don't trust her. She hasn't given me any reason not to before this, she even goes out drinking without me and I don't have a problem with that. What I do though is when someone come to me, asking if I know "this single hot chick" when I actually are dating that single hot chick. We were exclusive but we weren't officially bf and gf (though ppl referred us as a couple since we acted and looked like one but we didn't stress with it) And now, she's saying that we have taken a step back and we have to see how it goes, that she have to think about how she's gonna deal with it. We talked on the phone yesterday and had lunch this afternoon, and I asked if we are still dating since I wasn't sure where we were at and she said yes. I'm 25 now and she's 23. Life is short and we have both said that we can see a future here, we enjoy eachothers company, we laugh together, we have alot in common.. Things were really good but after this everything seems so unclear. I know I ****ed up but I feel like she didn't see it from my side at all. And I later found out that she's still talking to him. That's okey I guess, I have friends who are girls and there's nothing against talking. But I don't tell them that "I hope to see you at a party this summer :)" or "I wanna meet you, maybe you could visit me or I could visit you?" That's the thing Im worried about. She says she doesn't want to lose me and what we have, that she cares about me and all that, but again she's still making plans to meet this guy, their prob gonna meet up next week when she's gonna visit her dad in the city (Where he also.. lives) Am I being to paranoid with this? Cause it seems that he's coming on to her. I told her that "He seems very into you" but she said "I know, but I told him that I only like him as a friend, it is you I like and who I'm dating" It just.. now that I know this and she keeps talking to him and my even be alone with him it makes me uneasy. And after all this it seems more likely that I've pushed her away and into the arms of someone else who's giving her alot of attention lately. So am I kidding myself? Can I sleep at night knowing this girl is with me or should I walk away before I get hurt? If anyone have some insight or experienced something themselves, please, don't sit silent /fm
d0nnivain Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 If she is your GF, why did you take the word of somebody else especially when that guy admitted to you he was asking questions & telling you things he'd only heard (rumors)? If you believed the rumors & then came on in a strong not too nice way as you admit you did I can totally see where your GF would be annoyed at you. In a relationship if you don't have trust you don't have much. I would take my SO's word over almost everybody else's in most if not all circumstances.
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