Leykis1o1 Posted April 26, 2005 Posted April 26, 2005 ..ok i think things are going ok..but then again i dont want to be wasting my time...i met this girl 4 weeks ago and ever since the first night we have been dating..several times a week..more like hanging out..but we have also gone on several dates..weve spent the night over at both of our places every night...i want to know things are progressing..i feel the feeling of falling in love with her ..but i want the same back....i say things to her like i love your this or i love your that..but all she says back is i like you this and i LIKE you that..ok not too bad....we are also very sexual towards each other..its on the brain with us..she has even baught sex toys for us...ive mentioned that i usually know when i see i nice girl and usually jump into relationships that allways last very long...all my relationships except for a very few have lasted years....anyways..she knows this....she knows i like her very much..probably as almost love..ive never said i love her cause i want to know its mutual..and i cant tell or im blind that it is...its probably a little soon..but she is driving me nuts she brings up things like staying in the hotel here in california called the modonna and that we should stay there..or she talks about trips we can take together...we also work out..she has made me dinner..we even wakeboard together..and love all the same stuff one thing is that she wants me to only date her and be monogoumous while dating..ok that was cool a few weeks ago..but now i want more..i want love..not just to be liked!! not sure what i should do or say..one side of me wants to tell her if we are just going to date then monogoumous is out of the question..but i know if i say that..she is gone...does she want her cake and eat it too or what? any suggestions? the past week we spent every night together in a row..we had a great time...i talk about her like she is my girlfriend ..she says "first of all were just dating"..but we act like were a couple..its really strange..and im confused...any help or opinions would be great
Merin Posted April 26, 2005 Posted April 26, 2005 S~L~O~W D~O~W~N Sorry.. you've only been dating this girl for 4 WEEKS.. While it's good to go that you're all about her and she seems to be into you... I also think you need to step back and breathe here... this could turn into something that ignited fast and will fizzle just as fast if you don't slow it down... She has said it's exclusive.. she spends her time with you... so why after only 4 weeks do you need to hear she loves you? The 2 of you are still getting to know one another... Enjoy what you've got going on right now...
Author Leykis1o1 Posted April 26, 2005 Author Posted April 26, 2005 i understand slow down..and thats what i need to hear..i think in her own was she has mentioned this to me..without exactly saying that....but at the same time im used to falling in love, sparks flying romance ever more and so on ..i like to be romantic..i guess im having a hard time doing that without getting emotional and telling her i love her or falling in love with her..i know its soon..but i want to be romantic..star into her eyes and feel free to say whatever i want..right now i feel shut down inside..it makes me quiet..maybe not even myself when im around her cause all i do is wonder how she feels about me.....i am emotional..she has said" i wouldnt be having sex with you and planning stuff with you unless i had a feeling's about having a relationship with you...but when? when is too long to wait and cut my losses?...i have feelings inside that are all bundled up and its clouding my mind when im around her now...i wasnt that way when i met her.... i feel i should slow down..i know thats the right thing to do..but to what point?
alphamale Posted April 26, 2005 Posted April 26, 2005 Originally posted by Leykis1o1 i feel i should slow down..i know thats the right thing to do..but to what point? dude, put down the crack pipe and chill out. my Rx for you is to listen to Tom Lykis on the radio all the rest of this week and not see or talk with that biotch for at least 7 days. ...and why have u been registered since Oct 04, 2004 and only had 14 posts???
Merin Posted April 26, 2005 Posted April 26, 2005 Originally posted by Leykis1o1 i understand slow down..and thats what i need to hear..i think in her own was she has mentioned this to me..without exactly saying that....but at the same time im used to falling in love, sparks flying romance ever more and so on ..i like to be romantic..i guess im having a hard time doing that without getting emotional and telling her i love her or falling in love with her..i know its soon..but i want to be romantic..star into her eyes and feel free to say whatever i want..right now i feel shut down inside..it makes me quiet..maybe not even myself when im around her cause all i do is wonder how she feels about me.....i am emotional..she has said" i wouldnt be having sex with you and planning stuff with you unless i had a feeling's about having a relationship with you...but when? when is too long to wait and cut my losses?...i have feelings inside that are all bundled up and its clouding my mind when im around her now...i wasnt that way when i met her.... i feel i should slow down..i know thats the right thing to do..but to what point? I think what you're feeling is infatuation... not un-normal for how long you've been together... Slow down and don't try to smother her.. she'll freak out and then you won't be in a place of cutting your losses.. it will be her who leaves...
Author Leykis1o1 Posted April 26, 2005 Author Posted April 26, 2005 im not infatuated..ive never given her a flower..or poem or any of that ****...i only call her when she calls me back....the problem i see about not talking to her for 7 days..is that we made plans for this weekend..we just havent finalized them..anyways...i know all of toms rules..i listen to most of them..maybe i do need to suck it up and stop making plans with her..make her come to me and or dont call her back ..make her infatuated again like she was when i met her....just how do i mention how i dont want to me monogoumous anymore as long as we are dating? without ending it with her?
blind_otter Posted April 26, 2005 Posted April 26, 2005 Yeah babe, what you are feeling is infatuation and lust. A powerful elixir, to be sure, but not L VE, ya feel me? Love comes after some trial and tribulation. Like working through arguments. Slow down. Spend time apart. Let her miss you, so when she sees you again she'll jump on you and cover your face with kisses. Do stuff with your bros during the week. Hang on on the weekends or whatever. Develop your own personal life and interests, that's what people find fascinating. Ask her to "define dating". Also when you say not monogamous, do you mean being intimate with other people as well? Or just...dating?
Merin Posted April 26, 2005 Posted April 26, 2005 Originally posted by Leykis1o1 im not infatuated..ive never given her a flower..or poem or any of that ****...i only call her when she calls me back....the problem i see about not talking to her for 7 days..is that we made plans for this weekend..we just havent finalized them..anyways...i know all of toms rules..i listen to most of them..maybe i do need to suck it up and stop making plans with her..make her come to me and or dont call her back ..make her infatuated again like she was when i met her....just how do i mention how i dont want to me monogoumous anymore as long as we are dating? without ending it with her? WTF does giving her flowers or a poem have to do with infatuation? Bottomline... You're PUSHING this to far to fast. Go ahead and tell her you no longer want to be monogamous with her I can gaurantee it WON'T make her feel all in Love with you, it will piss her off. You've been with this girl for 4 weeks and IMO you're asking for way to much way to soon...
Author Leykis1o1 Posted April 26, 2005 Author Posted April 26, 2005 yah i have had a feelign i should step back and let her miss me...i regret ever agreeing to be monogomous with her.....i guess i might just jump back into dating..others again also...and stop seeing her so much..might be a better thing.....thansk you all..any more idea's would be great
dgiirl Posted April 26, 2005 Posted April 26, 2005 lol, this reminds me of my highschool days The rule was "A girl knows she's in love after 6 months, a guy a year" (or was that the guy 6 months/girl year) You're spending all your time with her, she wants to be monogomous, what's the problem? She wont say "I love you"?. It's too early to declare that. But she's spending all her time with you, and she wants to be monogomous. Stay cool or you'll push her away.
blind_otter Posted April 26, 2005 Posted April 26, 2005 Why can't you be monogamous but also cool off? I like missing my guy. It makes me go into sexual overdrive when I do see him.
Author Leykis1o1 Posted April 26, 2005 Author Posted April 26, 2005 Tom is ashamed what are you talking about..
alphamale Posted April 26, 2005 Posted April 26, 2005 Originally posted by blind_otter I like missing my guy. It makes me go into sexual overdrive when I do see him. I have experienced this "sexual overdrive" and let me tell u...it's quite a lot of fun. Until reality hits again.
whichwayisup Posted April 26, 2005 Posted April 26, 2005 ...and why have u been registered since Oct 04, 2004 and only had 14 posts??? Cuz this person actually HAS better things to do than sit on LS and play like all of us big goofs! LMAO!! Stay in the now and just enjoy getting to know her. Slow it down, I agree with all the others. She's into you as much as you are into her...Pay attention more to her actions than what is being said. Be romantic, get her flowers, ya just don't have to tell her all your thoughts in your head right now...
westernxer Posted April 26, 2005 Posted April 26, 2005 Originally posted by Leykis1o1 Tom is ashamed what are you talking about.. You profess his name in your handle but your actions indicate otherwise. Just an observation, that's all.
Ty Posted April 26, 2005 Posted April 26, 2005 the past week we spent every night together in a row..we had a great time...i talk about her like she is my girlfriend ..she says "first of all were just dating"..but we act like were a couple..its really strange..and im confused...any help or opinions would be great Take it slow man.. its only been 4 weeks. Maybe she just doesn't want to rush into anything. Nothing wrong with that. Obviously she is thinking some of the same things you said, or she wouldn't be making any plans for the future like staying in that hotel or whatever. Play it cool and you'll be in there in no time.
Author Leykis1o1 Posted May 17, 2005 Author Posted May 17, 2005 WE ARE STILL TOGETHER as of this hour..the past 2 nights have been rocky...this past weekend she cut her head open and had to gbe taken to the ER..so i was with her..through all of that..after that she took me to dinner..in the middle of dinner she asked " what are we" "are we Boyfriend and Girlfriend?" i said yes and she said she wanted that also....this was because when the nurse asked who i was to her i said i was "seeing her" ..weve allways been just dating..ive allways wanted more ...ok so that night me and her got stonned out of our minds accidentally..somone puyt a little too much in the brownies..anyways scary ..she had to take care of me that night..i might have said a few things ..for when i was stoned i felt i was going to die..she tried to confort me..she almost took me to the ER but i think she was scared and i knew that even stoned..i mentiiond i loved her..and also that i didnt ever want to get stoned like that in my life..i told her in a way sorta bloamming her cause thats what she hangs out not to let me get that way again..hinting i ddnt like what her friends fed me that..and if she didnt have friends like that that i wouldnt have had the worst time of my life...anyways i think this is what it roots too..whay im writing now in deperation the next moring sunday we went to a wakeboarding competion...the whole day i felt she was distant..and monday we hung out again..we had a good time..she made me dinner we watched a move things we ok..but somthing was off..she was a little more quiet and distant again..we had a conversation about this..she said nothing was wrong and that im making problems...but im not im trying to point out that she seams different and it concerns me deeply.. later that night we went to bed..normally we would be affectionate unless we are tired..i could tell she had the energy and that she felt distant again ..things were ok but distant..i was upset..i wanted to talk to her..she didnt want to talk to me..this went on for a hour and she kept trying to sleep..we finally got in a fight and i seamed to have pissed her off..im not trying too its just that im upset things dont feel right..she wont straight up tell me..she keeps telling me things are alright..but i have a feeling..anyways we finally sorta resolved it i went to bed we woke up we kissed she asked for a hugg and i went to work....she calls me and asks if i have time to talk about how upset iwas last night..i say ok but then tell her i rather do it in person..ok she says ..she says she is coming over tonight to go out for a drink and we can talk..she also said she wants to be with me again... well her is the question..how can she be my Girlfriend without being in love or her saying she loves me? i feel they go hand in hand...first you love then your BF , GF right? im confused.. i also told her last night i love her..she said its only been a month (actually 1 and a half months) but still..ok my thing is that yah that may be true but weve almost spent every day and night together..weve done more that people in early relationships have done!! heck ive taken her to the ER twice and been there...weve done allot..ive taken her and helped her pick out her car after the weekend she rolled her onld one..i drove her back from my weekend cause i cared and she totally apreciated that...she said in loving tone "i really really like you" maybe those were the momenets i should have asked "do you love me?" im confused i need advice..we are supposed to talk tonight ..throw me some help!!
westernxer Posted May 17, 2005 Posted May 17, 2005 You're making it too easy for her to reject you...
Author Leykis1o1 Posted May 17, 2005 Author Posted May 17, 2005 how am i making it easy to reject me..how do i turn this around?
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