gaius Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 i take it the mom was hot I never found out, she wouldn't introduce me to her after that. 2
Emilia Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 (edited) These men are trying to find out how casual your attitude is to sex. They may not go about it the right way but they are trying to gauge your character. Edited June 1, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
TaraMaiden2 Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 It tells her that these are guys who (in the case you are correct) are poor at communicating, and deserve what they get. There are certain questions a gentleman should not ask. Just as some men take great umbrage and offence at how many previous partners their GF has had, there are certain questions which really do not need exploring. My answer to his question, would have been "Why? Are you desperate?" 1
William Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 I see a question: Do you ask or answer these types of [indiscrete] questions, such as when was your last hook-up? Member personal experience and opinion on what is indiscrete or not and questions regarding last hook-up meeting that standard, or not, are welcomed. The rest of the diatribe and personal shots I had to clean up is not. Thanks in advance for your cooperation with this moderation directive.
Author Gaeta Posted June 1, 2015 Author Posted June 1, 2015 so maybe he was smart to ask... Yes but there is a way to ask such a question to a lady you are just starting to pursue like: What are your thoughts on casual sex versus relationships, no? And this man has been around the block at 45. He didn't notice up to now that if you ask a question so bluntly it will turn many women off.
candie13 Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 well, OLD is a rough place, indeed. Even bars are tough, I mean you're talking to complete strangers and can be a total arse with almost no consequences. When I was doing OLD, I was extremely conscious of my time and was evaluating the quality of the guys I was talking to, to understand if they were worthy of my "investment". The moment they scored out, I would cross them out and move to the next one. ain't nobody got time to get offended here. you know what they say, one person's hell is another person's happiness. When a "sensitive" question or topic arrises, I believe the most important thing is not to show your cards and make him show his. Turn the question in such a way as to understand his pov on the topic - maybe he asked you about hook ups because he hates hooks ups... or maybe he's looking for one. The smart thing to do is to ask trick him into telling the truth, smth like "I don't care much for those. how about u, are you into hooking up ?" - asked in a flirty way. if he says yes, he's toasted and you can def cross him out. 1
PogoStick Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 I have been exchanging with this man (45) for a couple of days. This morning he sent me a good morning and it's followed by the question: when was your last hook-up?. I lost it and hit him hard on the nose for asking such a question then I told him I am looking for another kind of man and wished him luck. Do you ask or answer these types of questions? You could have looked at your watch, paused for some mental math, and said "about 4 hours ago". 1
Author Gaeta Posted June 1, 2015 Author Posted June 1, 2015 So, I went for a coffee at 5h after office hours to meet a new contact. We're exchanging on the usual and then I ask him how has been his online experience so far. I was really not expecting him to start telling me about his hook-ups!! Geezz!! He starts telling me how women invite him over their home cause it's safer for them but he's always cautious he asks them to change their bed sheets and he always uses protection and he doesn't put his mouth anywhere. I am sitting there in front of him as a prospect for a serious relationship why do I need to hear that? Maybe he thought I would confine in my hook-ups? It didn't happen. So now it's not even necessary to be asking indiscreet questions they just go ahead and volunteer indiscreet info.
rester Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 I was really not expecting him to start telling me about his hook-ups!! Geezz!! He starts telling me how women invite him over their home cause it's safer for them but he's always cautious he asks them to change their bed sheets and he always uses protection and he doesn't put his mouth anywhere. As if it's not strange enough to be telling you about his online hook-ups, I find it to be even more strange that he asks these women to change their bed sheets! Do people actually request that? I've never heard of that. 1
Art_Critic Posted June 2, 2015 Posted June 2, 2015 soooooo.. when was your last hookup I would never ask a question like that without there already have been a foundation for sex talk, I would however answer a question like that without any problem... 1
todreaminblue Posted June 2, 2015 Posted June 2, 2015 i wouldnt ask that kind of question to me its a bit rude and a little too forthright.....like art critic said i also would not have a problem answering it.....to me hook up is actual sex .....if i did have a problem with any question a guy asked me ...i would say....i dont feel i have to answer that question so next question....deb.....
lovexocoach Posted June 2, 2015 Posted June 2, 2015 Totally inappropriate question to ask anyone. You did the right thing. Next!
Toodaloo Posted June 2, 2015 Posted June 2, 2015 It's tough to find a gentleman today. Then when you do he just doesn't fancy you... Back on topic though. The only questions I ask are about health, any STD's I need to know about, when were they last tested, do they always use condoms etc... The rest of it I may find a giggle but I have no interest in at all. They are with me now and they better be grateful for it Gaeta you did absolutely the right thing. I always turn the question back on them and respond with "why do you ask?"
Author Gaeta Posted June 2, 2015 Author Posted June 2, 2015 So the man from 5 o'clock last night gave me a call to invite me on a second date. I told him I didn't think I was the right lady for hm. He asked why and I told him about his undemanded hook-up stories. He apologized and called himself an imbecile and said he doesn't know why he did that but it was totally inappropriate and ungentleman and to give him an opportunity to make amend on another date. I don't care at at all to see him again, a first impression is very fragile.
candie13 Posted June 2, 2015 Posted June 2, 2015 wait, he asked you that face to face? I thought he asked you that via text. I used to spend a bit of time doing the weeding, yet not be too direct - through text, before meeting up IRL. My criteria were the following: - not into hook ups - no if he had a gf / wife / sex friend / open relationship - no if he had children - no if he just wanted to "have fun and then we'll see" - no if he said he's not ready to have a RS I've learnt the hard way "no - if he is divorced". Again, I am gaining that information through probing as opposed to direct questions, to make sure not to raise any suspicions. OLD is a immensely risky and time consuming... glad to be out of those shark infested waters
Author Gaeta Posted June 2, 2015 Author Posted June 2, 2015 Actually I started this thread about a man who asked indiscreet questions on text but later during the day I met someone else for coffee and he volunteered all those hook-up stories I never asked to hear about.
jen1447 Posted June 2, 2015 Posted June 2, 2015 So the man from 5 o'clock last night gave me a call to invite me on a second date. I told him I didn't think I was the right lady for hm. He asked why and I told him about his undemanded hook-up stories. He apologized and called himself an imbecile and said he doesn't know why he did that but it was totally inappropriate and ungentleman and to give him an opportunity to make amend on another date. I don't care at at all to see him again, a first impression is very fragile. Sounds like a gut moment Gaeta - he may say the right thing after he gets smacked, but that's easy. Chances are he's still the same guy who said the dumb stuff in the first place.
carhill Posted June 2, 2015 Posted June 2, 2015 Good on ya for your perseverance. I would be mortified at asking such questions or sharing hookup stories but gotta admit my dating success was not stellar for a man of my generation, compared to men who were more 'rough' around the edges. Apparently, that roughness rubs you the wrong way so I guess the healthy solution is try and avoid as found. If one doesn't try, nothing occurs.
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