my crazy break up

[jayxsoxdope]

Me and my ex started dating in march of last year Everything amazing we had fun all of that. Then June she had gotten pregnant we we're excited. Here's where it got crazy I ask her when is she going to go to the doctor she says she's scared because she doesn't know what her parents are going to say IM like we need to do this asap no matter what. So July comes around she still hasn't told them. July comes around her friends come home for summer break and they hang out drink smoke and party when I found out I'm livid And im like why are you doing this she starts Crying saying she doesnt know why im like you need to tell them so in early august she does and they were ok with it she Finally makes the appointment for the 27th my birthday is on the 18th it comes and im excited as hell the only thing on my mind was putting my head on her tummy and talking to it so after we come back from eating thats what i do I sit there for two hours telling her how i can't to see what it is and how im actuating to be a father. The 27th comes we go to the hospital and im sitting in the waiting room I see all of the people coming out with the my baby and me book I start getting excited then she comes out im looking for her to be excited also she not we get to the car and I as her what's wrong she says our baby isn't going to make it that crushed my soul we go home and I take some sleeping pills the pain was too much a couple of weeks go by and she's feeling sad and thought about killing herself I talk her out of it and she was cool. A few weeks later I starting getting upset me being cool has turned into anger I start blaming it on her then we start arguing. I start feeling like I could never respect her again and thought about leaving but my heart wouldn't let me leave so we talk about it and hash it out. In April of this year her uncle passes away. She was devastated I come to her need asking her how she feels and im there every night as her shoulder to lean on. Then one night we're on the phone talking and she hangs up in my face out of no we're I call and call I must have called 30 to 40 times she never answered that hurt me so much. So the next morning I call her and ask why did she do that she said that she didn't want to talk about it I was like ok so she asks me to come over I say ok so I got dressed and got a haircut it took a little longer then I expected I the proceed to her house she answers the door and the first thing she asks was what took me so long and just starts going in on me im like I wanted to surprise you with a fresh haircut. We start arguing.for 5 minutes then she starts crying about the loss of her uncle and how much she missed him I tell her it's going.to be ok so we both sit outside and smoke a blunt we talk and everything.seems cool so I tell her it's getting late and I go home when I get home I call her she doesn't answer this.makes me feel uneasy because we usually talk on our way home so I call and call and call she never answered so I cry myself to sleep the next morning she calls me and tells me that she was talking to her brother about what had happened im like ok you couldn't have called to see if I got in safe she says sorry and we're cool the next couple of Days we we're cool we talked and laughed then one night she just hung up again and I called back and when I did she told me she and her dad had gotten into a argument and that she was tired of people treating her bad I told her I didn't like that she kept hanging up into face and it was starting to get on my nerves she said fine whatever and hung up again I called her the next morning and she told me she needed some time to herself so I said ok we'll a week goes by I didn't call or nothing I started to.miss her so I called and she asked where have I been I said working on.myself and becoming a better person she then says she wanted to get back together I say ok so we went to the.mall and she says im acting.different I say because I feel like I have to be on edge I don't know when the next time your going to just up and leave she said she was sorry and that she would never leave again. I believed that and we we're cool again the next week I go to.the jewelry store and buy a engagement ring and make reservations at a restaurant so I txt her telling her to save the day she txts back a hour later telling.me.that this doesn't feel the same and that she needed to work on herself this broke my heart and made me feel like my world was coming.to a end I call her and she says that she doesn't know how to feel and she just needs some time I get upset and we started arguing again she hangs up now I feel worst then I did earlier so I give her her space last week I called her and we talk I asked her what she's been up to she said she was in the hospital I asked what for and she said she had a panic attack I said I hope you feel better she said thanks I start.drinking and look through my old phone and see pictures and old txt messages and start crying I start saying to myself I want my girl back so I take a picture of the messages and send them to her she didn't respond so I called and asked her if she saw them she said no she hadn't checked her phone my call dropped so I say yourself forget it later On that night She txts me saying She was sorry for hangimg up i say it was ok i asked her did she see the txt she Sends me sad faces i.ask why the sad faces she says because she misses but this is whats best for both of us at the moment i say its not i miss you and want you to come back i miss how we used to be and then i ask her to call me she txts Back saying She was driving i say ok then 20 minutes later i call her and she Doesn't answer she txts me back Telling me that she was Picking up her brother i say ok so i call back 30 minutes later and she answers i tell her how much this hurts and how bad it made me feel and that i want us to get back together she says i know and that she was still driving but i heard her fan in the Background but i just went Along with it so i call back 2 Hours later And she answers her Speech was slurred I ask her was she high she says yeah I say ok then I ask was she smoking.with someone she says yeah at this point im hurt so I say wow she says it's not like that I say what is it then then she says I don't have time for this and hangs up into face at this point I break out in a cold sweat I couldn't breath and I felt like my heart hit.the floor so I sit down I haven't heard from her since then it hurt me so bad to think the person I loved has left me without any explanation and just disrespected me like this I been drinking since Thursday evening I keep telling myself she's gone I messed up can someone tell me why I feel like this please?

[hunk]

Sweet merciful christ son, paragraphs, have you heard of them???