candie13 Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 That doesn't make any sense. So you're going to increase your chances of success greatly if you enter the army and you try to be the next Napoleon Bonaparte? Buddy, Bonaparte was the man he was because he was better than all of the rest. A good-looking man can sit quiet and get women to approach him, or do you think Alain Delon in his prime had to pursue the women he wanted to vastly increase his chances of getting the women he wanted? I've pursued women before and I'll have got from it was a serious case of sexual frustration because they were trying to see how much I would invest trying to bed them. On the other hand, I've sat pretty and waited for women to approach me and it worked just fine. If you want the quality of the women who approaches you to be high, then you gotta be as equally good-looking as they are. And it helps if you are live in an area with plenty of attractive women, so the chances of attractive women wanting you increases fairly much. It always amuses me when I see men pursue average women, spending time and money and whatever else they have and in return they don't get nothing. Sweet lord, just hit the gym. you're not having quality women, you're having quality females, mate. Maybe the guys doing the chasin' know what they're doing and why ... Also the "hit the gym" remark is legit.
Emilia Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 There is a whole range of options between chasing and being aloof. As others said: socialising, showing interest in the person, getting to know them and allowing mutual attraction to develop. I don't like being chased because I know most of the time it isn't really about me. I also want the chance of showing interest. I don't want to be 'chosen', it needs to be mutual. Aloof guys are a turn off. I write them off as insecure because who in their right mind just go along with what others want rather than take some control.
Elam Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 well, women give birth to children, how fair is that ? they are deformed for 9 months and stay deformed for at least one more year (unless your name is Kate Middleton). What would make that fair, if everything else is 50% - 50% ? No one forces women to have children(at least in the western world). If women have children its because they want to have children. They incur that state of vulnerability because they choose to, so the obligations should be all on them. you're not having quality women, you're having quality females, mate. Maybe the guys doing the chasin' know what they're doing and why ... Also the "hit the gym" remark is legit. Last I heard women are females and females are women? No, they don't know what they're doing. The more you pursue a woman the faster she runs away. The least you bother yourself with pursuing women the more they are curious about you. Add a good-looking body and they'll ask you why you aren't after them like all of the other thirsty dudes are, and then it gets a lot easier to bang them.
Rejected Rosebud Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 You see, that's another thing that sounds annoying in a sexist way, why is going after what you want in a relentlessly way, being persistent a masculine trait? And I'm not talking about men just solely being assertive with women, but in other aspects of life, such as asking your boss for a promoting or a raise, even people will label a woman being dominant, masculine, when she is acting like this at the workplace, so what's the deal as to why being assertive is a masculine thing? Yeh but unfortunately for us introverts it's the way it is, those who go after what they want have a better chance of getting it than those who sit back waiting or hoping it will come to them so we better get in the game unless we are 100% happy with the status quo don't you think???:confused: 1
Rejected Rosebud Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 No one forces women to have children(at least in the western world). If women have children its because they want to have children. They incur that state of vulnerability because they choose to, so the obligations should be all on them. No, in relationships the COUPLE decides to have children and the "obligations" as you call them are on both people.
Elam Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 Yeh but unfortunately for us introverts it's the way it is, those who go after what they want have a better chance of getting it than those who sit back waiting or hoping it will come to them so we better get in the game unless we are 100% happy with the status quo don't you think???:confused: Dude, no. I met a lot of women of women who were very shy, would blush as soon as they talked to any man, but when they met a guy they were attracted to they were game to anything the guy wanted to do, and they even took the next step and talked to the guy first. Same goes for the men who were ''shy''.
misspond Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 You see, that's another thing that sounds annoying in a sexist way, why is going after what you want in a relentlessly way, being persistent a masculine trait? And I'm not talking about men just solely being assertive with women, but in other aspects of life, such as asking your boss for a promoting or a raise, even people will label a woman being dominant, masculine, when she is acting like this at the workplace, so what's the deal as to why being assertive is a masculine thing? It's a social construct. The only way to avoid this social construct is to move to a place (or planet) where it doesn't exist.
Elam Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 It's a social construct. The only way to avoid this social construct is to move to a place (or planet) where it doesn't exist. A social construct that is only in effective use with the older population. Pay attention to the women who are 18-28 and how they react to the men near them and you'll see that women chase men when they are into them.
GorillaTheater Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 That doesn't make any sense. So you're going to increase your chances of success greatly if you enter the army and you try to be the next Napoleon Bonaparte? You gotta be kidding me. Your odds of becoming the next Napoleon are infinitesimal if you do join the military, but they're zero if you don't. And are you seriously going to use such an extreme example to buttress your point that passively waiting for what you want is better than actively going after what you want? If I want more money, I'm going to pursue that, not wait for an unknown benefactor to send me a nice wire transfer. If I want an education, I'm going to work my ass off for it, not wait until someone kindly mails me a degree. If I want a woman, I'm going to make my interest known. How is it that you can achieve any goal without working for it? 1
candie13 Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 Why would men chase women? That doesn't make any sense. When a woman is attracted to a man, she'll approach him. I know the old timers on this forum will ask ''where exactly in the universe do you live, Elam?' but young women - especially young women - will come up to a man and chat him up, and if he's good-looking enough things will be pretty darn easy, no need to date at all. All of that nonsense of women giving signs of interest, come on. That's for teenagers. My advice for young men is to hit the gym, look good, feel good, and women will approach you. Chasing after women only results in them getting a big ego and it makes it harder for them to put out because they want to see you sweat for it. Now, if you show you have options by being good-looking/charming/charismatic/wealthy things will go far smoother for you. That has nothing to do with low self-esteem, but with women enjoying their options when they can. Like men who are above average do. I don't really mind it when women enjoy casual sex or whatever with some random thug who made them hot, what annoys me is when the woman says ''I was young and insecure.'' Sure, I'm sure any woman is going to believe that the reason why I slept with bar girls was because I was feeling insecure about myself and I only needed to grow up to find that average-looking/boring women are what I really want in my life! oh, noooo, I think you sleep with them for the only reason because you can. And if another pretty boy, just as "deep" as you would be sitting on your place in that bar, they'd be shagging him too. Because he's also pretty, good looking and hitting the gym. good looking is your mark of "quality" and yeah, plenty of people think the same thing too. You and your playmates are doing the numbers game and guess what, it's perfect, because in this game, everybody wins. Great that you've found your league, and I agree, please, don't change your approach! Please do humanity a service and stay there, in that bar and continue to look pretty . God forbid you approach a lady and thinks you saw something else in her, other than her tight arse and nice pair of boobies.
Rejected Rosebud Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 Dude, no. I met a lot of women of women who were very shy, would blush as soon as they talked to any man, but when they met a guy they were attracted to they were game to anything the guy wanted to do, and they even took the next step and talked to the guy first. Same goes for the men who were ''shy''. So this equals a person who does nothing has just as good a chance of getting what they want out of life as a person who takes action on trying??? Not in my world srsly!
Rejected Rosebud Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 You gotta be kidding me. Your odds of becoming the next Napoleon are infinitesimal Maybe he meant Napoleon Dynamite?? :confused: 1
Shining One Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 No, in relationships the COUPLE decides to have children and the "obligations" as you call them are on both people.Technically, this isn't true. A couple may plan one way or another, but the decision ultimately rests with the woman. A couple agrees to have a child and then successfully conceives. The woman changes her mind and opts for abortion. The man has no decision making power at this point (and he shouldn't).A couple agrees to not have children and use protection accordingly. An accident occurs and the woman ends up pregnant. The woman changes her mind and decides to keep the child. Again, the man has no decision making power at this point.
Emilia Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 You see, that's another thing that sounds annoying in a sexist way, why is going after what you want in a relentlessly way, being persistent a masculine trait? And I'm not talking about men just solely being assertive with women, but in other aspects of life, such as asking your boss for a promoting or a raise, even people will label a woman being dominant, masculine, when she is acting like this at the workplace, so what's the deal as to why being assertive is a masculine thing? Because it puts pressure on men to compete not only with other men but with women too and it puts pressure on passive women to be more assertive. Those two groups don't like the increased competition, it isn't just about sexism. 1
candie13 Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 So this equals a person who does nothing has just as good a chance of getting what they want out of life as a person who takes action on trying??? Not in my world srsly! relax, he's talking about shaggin' shy girls he picks up in bars. you're asking really big questions here, like "what one wants in life". I think he's already figured it out and he's living his success story: "shagging girls in bars, while looking pretty and not approaching them". 2
candie13 Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 No, in relationships the COUPLE decides to have children and the "obligations" as you call them are on both people. you're going too fast again, our friend here is not familiar with the "couple" notion. HE's still in a bar, looking pretty and waiting for women to hit on him, what is it that you don't get, girl ?!? oh wait, my bad, he must be hitting the gym by now... those cocktails don't burn themselves out of the system, ya know ! 1
misspond Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 A social construct that is only in effective use with the older population. Pay attention to the women who are 18-28 and how they react to the men near them and you'll see that women chase men when they are into them. I'd say that it's a social construct that is in use with whomever chooses to live by it, I for one know women of all ages who have done the chasing when they've wanted to. I'm not saying it's a rule to live by, I was just giving BronzeAgeJaeger217 food for thought as he appears to be obsessed with the notion that men should always do the chasing even though he doesn't agree that they should. People should pursue the people they find attractive, and be as prepared to be rejected as they are hopeful they'll strike gold.
Auspecial Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 You'd be surprised. When I was younger, I used to show more clear interest in a woman, telling them I was interested, pursuing them, ect. Failed almost every time. Many guys will tell you that showing absolute indifference to a woman is the best way to get with her. That has almost always worked best for me in my dating experiences. Maybe this is true with some women, but uhhmmm not so much with me. In the past I have erred on the side of being too nice. Now, for years, I immediately lose interest if a guy acts dismissive in any way. This way, I don't waste a lot of time.
Auspecial Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 I detest being chased. Reason being, to *chase* implies the woman is running away....and you need to chase her to catch her. If I am running away from a guy, it is because I don't like him, I don't want to date him and I want him to leave me alone! I DO enjoy being "pursued" though...which is different. And IMO, the ideal relationship is when both the man and the woman pursue each other. That is pretty much how all my long term relationships started, although he was doing a bit more pursuing in the early stages. But I was responding positively and also reciprocating which I think is important. Yes I agree, I like being pursued, in a gentlemanly (respectful) way. I like it when there is no question of his interest but also seeing that he has self control enough to respect boundaries.
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 Yeh but unfortunately for us introverts it's the way it is, those who go after what they want have a better chance of getting it than those who sit back waiting or hoping it will come to them so we better get in the game unless we are 100% happy with the status quo don't you think???:confused: ya, which is why i'm often bitter and resentful because of the status-quo
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 but I would say that's because I've been struggling to get over my negative past
Rejected Rosebud Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 Technically, this isn't true. A couple may plan one way or another, but the decision ultimately rests with the woman. A couple agrees to have a child and then successfully conceives. The woman changes her mind and opts for abortion. The man has no decision making power at this point (and he shouldn't).A couple agrees to not have children and use protection accordingly. An accident occurs and the woman ends up pregnant. The woman changes her mind and decides to keep the child. Again, the man has no decision making power at this point. The decision ultimately resting on the person who has the baby inside her body and pushes it out herself … yes but that is not the same as the post I quoted. I mean there is a whole world of people where the man and woman do approach having babies as a couple, decisions are made as a couple, obligations and responsibilities are shared as a couple, this is not included in the post I quoted. Of course it's ultimately in the woman's body and she has control of her own body necessarily so one would hope a man would choose to have a baby with a woman he can trust and who is a good team with him!!
Rejected Rosebud Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 ya, which is why i'm often bitter and resentful because of the status-quo Why are you bitter do you hate putting out effort?? I mean in anything? You are mad that you can't just coast and that there are alot of people who are better at things and more good looking than you are (me too, all of us!)!! Well that's no way to live your life!!
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 Why are you bitter do you hate putting out effort?? I mean in anything? You are mad that you can't just coast and that there are alot of people who are better at things and more good looking than you are (me too, all of us!)!! Well that's no way to live your life!! I only hate putting forth effort when I feel it is a wasted effort, and that I'm only getting older not younger, YES WE ALL GET OLD!!!!!, but I feel I wasted most of my youth
GorillaTheater Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 I only hate putting forth effort when I feel it is a wasted effort, and that I'm only getting older not younger, YES WE ALL GET OLD!!!!!, but I feel I wasted most of my youth Depends. Forget women for a second; did you get a good education? Get your career off the ground? If so, you didn't waste anything.
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