Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 Men, on average, do you prefer chasing woman these days or would you want woman to chase you? Possibly in my country ( NZ) men chase woman less, everything is split down the middle and woman are expected to pay for dates or pay half. I have a friend from the UK that says that men are expected to pay for woman and pay for dates, and pursue less. I just wondered if globally the trend seems to be, that things are becoming more and more equal and if so, do men want woman to chase them more instead of men feeling pressured to pursue woman all the time? Just curious
Guitarisgood Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 Pretty sure it's a cultural thing. I think deep down a guy still is the one to take the hand and lead but personally if a girl does not reciprocate or does not try, I'm out the door by the second date as I don't believe in waiting around on a girl hand and foot. The funny thing is once they sense you're walking away, they come chasing.
Emilia Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 I'd imagine unless the guy is a womaniser he doesn't want to chase. The woman shouldn't either. If you are viewed as prey, you will be treated as one and unceremoniuosly dumped.
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 Well I would love to be chased, actively pursued by a girl, well mainly if there is mutual attraction involved, but I don't hold my breath for that since most women are stubbornly passive
Redhead14 Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 Men, on average, do you prefer chasing woman these days or would you want woman to chase you? Possibly in my country ( NZ) men chase woman less, everything is split down the middle and woman are expected to pay for dates or pay half. I have a friend from the UK that says that men are expected to pay for woman and pay for dates, and pursue less. I just wondered if globally the trend seems to be, that things are becoming more and more equal and if so, do men want woman to chase them more instead of men feeling pressured to pursue woman all the time? Just curious Pursuit and chasing are two different things in my book. Pursuit is when a man (or a woman) is attempting to be a suitor and it is mutual. The woman clearly likes the man and he shows her that he wants her in his life actively and in a respectful way. Chasing is when a woman (or man) doesn't have mutual interest and the suitor continues to go after them without encouragement. If a man wants a woman and she wants him, he will do it in a way that shows her he is the one for her.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 If a girl is playing stupid games expecting me to keep chasing eventually I'm going to just say **** it and bail. No one has time for that ****, I don't want to sit there and decipher the hidden meaning of your actions, when those actions from any normal girl would mean they're not interested. When it's said that a guy is supposed to "chase" it more or less means we're supposed to ask you out. 1
Clarence_Boddicker Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 I don't & refuse to engage in worthless gender roles like that. It's 2015, not 1915 or before. I'll let someone know I'm interested in them, then it's their turn. I don't believe in putting people on the spot. If she wants to go further, she can communicate what she wants to me. I hate how dating seems to have a lot of competitive elements to it. Competition seems ridiculous for a lot of things. It's not like we're living in the stone ages, where everything has to be fought for to survive. I wouldn't have an issue being asked out though.
aloneinaz Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 I've always found it appealing when a girl approaches me or messaged me when I was on line dating. It showed confidence on her part and she knew she was interested and approached/messaged me. Some women don't due to a belief that it makes them look desperate or something. That's non-sense. I have a few attractive female friends who don't get much action on OLD. Why? Cause many guys are to scared of rejection from a pretty girl. In many cases, they've reached out to guys they were interested in and had good dates from it. I still think its much more common for guys to reach out to women though. It shows they are confident and go after what they want.
carhill Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 Do men still find it's important to chase woman? In my demographic yes, if 'chase' is defined as purposely seeking out a lady and interacting to ask her on a date for the purposes of romance and/or sex. If a man sits back and doesn't 'chase', he can easily spend his life alone. I checked this for the last five or so years since becoming divorced and perceived no change from historical customs. I've only been to NZ twice but did notice the ladies to be a good deal more forward in social interacting. However, I was married one of the times and in the middle of my D the other.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 Men need to ask Women out, otherwise they're not going to ever get laid or have a girlfriend. That's just how it is. A woman could ask a guy out I guess, but she really doesn't need to. Let the guy do the work But yeah, if by chasing you mean chasing a hard-to-get woman, that **** is annoying....
deadelvis Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 I have never seen an attractive woman who isn't a total psychopath chase a man. And even she was carrying a kitchen knife.
misspond Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 Men, on average, do you prefer chasing woman these days or would you want woman to chase you? Possibly in my country ( NZ) men chase woman less, everything is split down the middle and woman are expected to pay for dates or pay half. I have a friend from the UK that says that men are expected to pay for woman and pay for dates, and pursue less. I just wondered if globally the trend seems to be, that things are becoming more and more equal and if so, do men want woman to chase them more instead of men feeling pressured to pursue woman all the time? Just curious I'm in the UK and I'm 48. If I get asked out then I offer/expect to pay my share. Recently I did the asking and it appeared he expected to pay but we still shared other than the couple of occasions he insisted he pay (haha, the night he decided he "wasn't looking for a relationship").
Vercetti Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 I like to pick, if do my job right then the chase is basically foreplay.
Woggle Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 I don't want chasing period. I want to meet up and if we like each other let's take it from there.
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 Men need to ask Women out, otherwise they're not going to ever get laid or have a girlfriend. That's just how it is. A woman could ask a guy out I guess, but she really doesn't need to. Let the guy do the work But yeah, if by chasing you mean chasing a hard-to-get woman, that **** is annoying.... Yup, for those who follow the news a lot, or anyone who is familiar with the famous PUA company RSD(Real Social Dynamics), one of their main instructors, Julien Blanc, caused a huge international controversy, even banned from a few countries, although I will admit, I feel his methods for meeting and approaching women are a little out there, the line looks very crossed but he gets amazing results with women. I got this from an article about a guy who was sort of defending Julien and at the same time, also expressing his disagreement on how he meets and approaches women, he said: "The demand for seminars such as the one Blanc teaches arises from a very simple fact of life; the dating game is an uneven playing field. Men and women suffer and benefit from different sides to it. No man goes out of a night worried he might be raped, sexually abused or catcalled and these are all serious instances of aberrant male behaviour that we must address, punish or discourage as a society. The flipside of this is your average man can go out every Friday and Saturday night for five years, buy himself a drink and stand at a bar and NEVER have a woman start up a conversation with him. In the majority of social situations, men have to be the instigators and, of course, there are a plethora of respectful, non-threatening ways to do this. Some women, however, are quite happy to overlook, diminish and outright mock the problem this poses for many, many men - the anxiety of approaching women, the fear of rejection, the despair at being completely ignored by the opposite sex. This is an experience 100 per cent guaranteed for 95 per cent of guys. It happens. Over and over and over again. And some guys need help to deal with being invisible. I am not equating the fear of rejection to the fear of being raped, merely pointing out that men - like most of the ones that attend Blanc's seminars - do not do it to learn how to manipulate women, to sexually assault them or degrade them. They do it to get a girlfriend, to have someone to hold, to find love" here is the link if you want to see the whole article, I love the title of it too, Hating the Search for Love: Hating the search for love
sagetalk Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 Men, on average, do you prefer chasing woman these days or would you want woman to chase you? I live in the US and the idea of a woman chasing me isn't that appealing. What is appealing is her making clear signals that she is available (no BF or husband) and is interested in me. After that, I can take care of the rest. Without those signals, a man can easily end up hitting on women with boyfriends and husbands. That is a great way to get yourself into all kinds of trouble. With that said, the key to it all is my level of attraction to her. If I was attracted to her, she can pursue me all she wants, the results will be the same if I had pursued her anyway.
Cowboysnation Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 The fact that I am expected to pay on dates means I have no interest in chasing. If she is interested i prefer she show it rather than play hard to get because it's hard for me to pay for someone who is not showing interest in between dates.
Cowboysnation Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 I don't like to chase women anymore. That stuff was fun when I was in my 20's, no more. Now I like things to just happen naturally, and that's how it usually ends up for me. Talk to women, spend some time with them, and things just flow. I don't ask women out, ever. It's been years since I asked a woman out on a date. I have had quite a few ask me out though. Funny how men are expected to pay, put his heart on the line, and chase which makes dating not that fun. lol
Cowboysnation Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 Part of the reason I don't bother with it. Most women make it obvious if they are into you. Those are the ones I talk to. No need to chase women, because if you find yourself having to chase a woman, she isn't interested anyway. I agree 100%. Don't have time for chasing when it's too many girls out here. Not going to beg anyone to spend my money lol
jay1983 Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 Part of the reason I don't bother with it. Most women make it obvious if they are into you. Those are the ones I talk to. No need to chase women, because if you find yourself having to chase a woman, she isn't interested anyway. Here's what I keep trying to tell people. You got dudes on here crying they been rejected 100 times. Like dude are really that clueless? 1
Cowboysnation Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 Here's what I keep trying to tell people. You got dudes on here crying they been rejected 100 times. Like dude are really that clueless? It is nice once a while to have a couple of success dates in between those rejections. Too many of those rejections can make a guy lose interest in dating.
Bobbi7 Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 Men should always make the first move/do the asking out, after that its 50/50 I guess.
Cowboysnation Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 Men should always make the first move/do the asking out, after that its 50/50 I guess. And you know I just realized that is what I am supposed to do when I met someone off a dating site. Guys who approach woman in public are asking them out so why the heck was I meeting girls of Match and not asking them out for a second date if I liked what I saw? lol 1
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 Men should always make the first move/do the asking out, after that its 50/50 I guess. women in general also expect men to ask them out on a second date as well too 1
ltjg45 Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 Asking a woman out that I am interested in? Yeah, I can do that. Chasing a woman? No thanks. Too aggressive. Like others have said, if she is interested, she will make it obvious. If it is too subtle, then at best she's 50/50 and, at worst, definitely have no interest so I stay clear of them.
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