Whoopdedoo Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 Posting here because I haven't talked to anyone about my breakup and I need advice. We had a 2 year+ relationship, both were very happy and had great chemistry. Towards the end, girlfriend started getting "Grass is Greener Syndrome" which lead to the creation of non-existant issues, finally leading to the breakup. This was my first serious relationship and I loved her, so unfortunately I kept contacting her and trying to get her to come back. I offered to wait until she could figure out if this is exactly what she wanted to do, as long as she didn't get intimate with anyone in the meantime. Obviously, she turned me down for that too since i now realize it was one of her main reasons for breaking up. She also turned into a MASSIVE bitch, even though she;s the one that broke up with me and I finally went no contact. My dilemma is that despite all this, I still REALLY want her back even though I know I shouldn't. I know she's already going wild and probably had sex with at least a couple guys, so it pains me that I still want her to come back. Any reasonable way for me to get over this? It makes it worse knowing that once she's done with this phase (she's also travelling for a month), I could easily "win" her back. But deep down, I know i shouldn't want to after the way she's treated me. So any advice, or should I just see how I feel after the no contact? Sorry for the ramble, I appreciate any and all input!
ColdandLonelyinAK Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 Your first mistake was offering to "wait" for her. That gives someone free reign over your heart while they go wild and play the field. You basically showed a lack of self respect there. Never tell a dumper you'll wait for them. Furthermore, why would you want to wait for someone who wanted to see if there was better than you out there? Even if you did get back together, you'd constantly be wondering if she would stray again. Keep NC. You deserve better and you need to show her that you have some self respect. More importantly, show yourself that you value yourself too much to let someone do that to you.
Sparroh Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 I'm going through a bad spot at the minute too man. If there is something you really want, then do it; but why do you want it? why do you want to be with a person who has treat you the way she has. Surround yourself with good people, and enjoy yourself. Get your mind into other things, and don't think about her with other guys, that doesn't matter, if anything it'll sway your true feelings on it all. Hope I can help a little
FistOfTheNorthStar Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 Trust me. It's not worth waiting if you're pushed aside so easily and as harsh as this sounds sometimes it's for the best. Everything happens for a reason. Cut all ties and remove all reminders. Out of sight out of mind. I beg you man DO NOT CONTACT AND DO NOT SEARCH, as this will only lead to more pain, resentment, and feelings that should not linger. Make this a learning experience and move forward onto dawn! -F
Author Whoopdedoo Posted June 1, 2015 Author Posted June 1, 2015 I won't be waiting, it'll just be hard to continue the NC when she eventually messages me again, which she will when she's bored of her newfound freedom. Guess I just have to work on really pushing the idea of her/reconciling out of my mind in the meantime.
dumbass2 Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 Just remember this if she tries to contact you again and she just might as long as she knows you are still waiting for her despite her doing what she is. She now knows by what you said and how you acted that you still want her. She is in control. you're in a bad place if she tries any time soon. It is guaranteed not to work and make you hurt a lot more if you allow her back. Keep reminding yourself this. What she did is unforgivable. She does not want you and has shown that. It hurts like hell now, but it will hurt worse if you ever give in to her.
hunk Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 I'd also try and stop thinking that she's going to contact you once this "phase" is over. You don't know that at all, she really might not have been happy and wanted out, don't just throw "GIGS" at this situation. Try and objectively see it as a break up, where you've been rejected, the reasons are irrelevant. It's now time to heal and look after yourself, treat is as if she's never coming back. I'm telling you this because sitting around and "waiting' for her, which is what you're doing when you label this as being a specific "period of GIGS" or whatever, is very counter productive and will just result in more heartache, confusion and disappointment when she doesn't contact you again.
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