minime13 Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 What is the best way to go about paying for a 2nd date? My date and I will be having dinner and probably drinks. He paid for date 1 (2 rounds of drinks and appetizers.) I thanked him after he paid. The date also ended in making out before we parted ways. I like him so far and am enjoying getting to know him. Should I offer to split the bill for date 2? I'm not sure if this comes off as me showing I'm uninterested. I want to show that I am interested, but also not taking him/his money for granted. Best way to approach 2nd date bill? Offer to leave the tip, at the very least. People have so many different views on this. My personal rule of thumb is that (especially in the beginning) s/he who initiates the date pays. Why would you ask someone out and expect them to pay?
Redhead14 Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 That's quite the assumption you're making there. Please enlighten me as to what a woman's role is in early dating (pre-relationship). While you're at it, what is a man's role? This is really a spin off of an "inter-thread" side debate. A poster suggested that women should stay in the kitchen implying a woman's job is to keep the home and the man's job is to work to support the home. So, as the debate went on, I'm simply saying that if that is the case, the role of a man is to do the "work" of initiating dates and paying. That being said, I personally, do not think the man needs to do all the work. They simply need to get the ball rolling. The woman "job" is to reciprocate if there is mutual interest. If a woman does have interest in the man and isn't reciprocating properly, she isn't doing her job well. On the flip side, I don't really think there's anything wrong with a woman initiating a date but she should give the reins to the man at some point to be able to really gauge his interest. If one of them is doing all the initiating, they can't be sure that the other person is willing to do some of the work too.
minime13 Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 Chivalry was just a medieval code of conduct for battle. Had nothing to do with paying for women on a date. Historical, but modern day definition is an act of being gentlemanly. A lesser man would be hurt by this insult to his manhood. I am secure enough in my masculinity that I do not care what random Internet girls think of me. And my GF is happy either way You are projecting your own qualities a little too much over other men and stating they have problems and insecurities because they think differently than you. Some men are brought up to feel like the provider and protector. We're not that far removed from a society of single income families. Some may have a chip on their shoulder or feel they have something to prove because of how they were brought up. My boyfriend's father abandoned him and his mother when he was a teen. That drives him to be a provider and protector. It certainly doesn't make him a lesser man. Good for you and your gf for having such compatibility. Other people don't have that same compatibility, but it doesn't mean they are inherently wrong, or lesser persons.
Brigit Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 What is the best way to go about paying for a 2nd date? My date and I will be having dinner and probably drinks. He paid for date 1 (2 rounds of drinks and appetizers.) I thanked him after he paid. The date also ended in making out before we parted ways. I like him so far and am enjoying getting to know him. Should I offer to split the bill for date 2? I'm not sure if this comes off as me showing I'm uninterested. I want to show that I am interested, but also not taking him/his money for granted. Best way to approach 2nd date bill? Drinks and appetizers were a fine first date. He didn't want to blow too much money if you didn't hit it off. On your second date let him take you to a full dinner at a nice restaurant. Don't pay. Don't offer. Let him take you out. On the third date cook him dinner or pack a lunch and go on a picnic. 1
Brigit Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 It's true, they offer to pay, but if you accept, they don't like that. It's true. That's why I never offered.
Brigit Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 So men and women have roles? I think women belong in the kitchen and should only come out to do the cleaning or to have sex. I'm guessing you're fine with that. I'd hate to be dating now it sounds yucky.
Morro72 Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 I've given up trying to figure out the rules on this sort of thing. I thought I had it figured out after we had been married a couple of decades - one of us paid, depending on who knows what - and then my wife told me that she would like it if I took care of the check all the time. Fine, but it's all coming out of the same bank account so I was a little mystified. Then she explained it to me and I was even more mystified. Now I just get the thing and everybody's happy. 1
Brigit Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 I've given up trying to figure out the rules on this sort of thing. I thought I had it figured out after we had been married a couple of decades - one of us paid, depending on who knows what - and then my wife told me that she would like it if I took care of the check all the time. Fine, but it's all coming out of the same bank account so I was a little mystified. Then she explained it to me and I was even more mystified. Now I just get the thing and everybody's happy. LOL! I rarely bring my bag when me and my husband go out so he always pays. And truth be told when we weren't married he always paid. ...kids today. 2
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