ThisisIt606 Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 What is the best way to go about paying for a 2nd date? My date and I will be having dinner and probably drinks. He paid for date 1 (2 rounds of drinks and appetizers.) I thanked him after he paid. The date also ended in making out before we parted ways. I like him so far and am enjoying getting to know him. Should I offer to split the bill for date 2? I'm not sure if this comes off as me showing I'm uninterested. I want to show that I am interested, but also not taking him/his money for granted. Best way to approach 2nd date bill?
J21 Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 Don't just sit there expecting him to pick up the tab. Take the initiative and pay. It show you are interested. 5
Gary S Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 Honestly, there are so many different views on "who pays", everyone is confused. There is no right or wrong. Don't worry about petty issues. 1
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 It doesn't matter. If it's a 2nd date guys usually still pay. You can offer to go Dutch though.
LostOne1 Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 What is the best way to go about paying for a 2nd date? My date and I will be having dinner and probably drinks. He paid for date 1 (2 rounds of drinks and appetizers.) I thanked him after he paid. The date also ended in making out before we parted ways. I like him so far and am enjoying getting to know him. Should I offer to split the bill for date 2? I'm not sure if this comes off as me showing I'm uninterested. I want to show that I am interested, but also not taking him/his money for granted. Best way to approach 2nd date bill? First off... THANK YOU! for thanking him. This girl I REALLY liked didn't even thank me for dinner, nor did she offer to pay half. She just looked away when the bill came. It killed it for me.... and here I was thinking I had finally met a woman that was the right fit for me. As a guy, all I really need is a THANK YOU. At least it shows she cares and is genuinely thankful that you're paying or treating her out. And, that she is not acting like she is entitled to a free dinner regardless of how the date goes good or bad. If you want to approach it well, then when the bill comes by. ASK to pay it ALL.... Then you both will go back and forth, and then tell him to meet you half way. You feel he treated you out last time, and this time it's your time. To me as a guy, that shows you're still interested. But you also don't want to be this goldigger. And, you can also financially take care of yourself. 3
Popsicle Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 I think you're safe offering and just see what he says. 2
Popsicle Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 I have to disagree with this. When many women offer to pay for a date, they do so in such a way that you can tell they are just trying to be polite, but have no real intention to pay. When they do that, you can tell they are at least trying to be nice, but I know they really don't want to pay. That's why I suggested she actually grab the check. Pull out her purse. Anything. That's how you go above and beyond polite, and show you actually mean it. When a woman does this sort of thing, which has been rare in my experience, it sets her well above others. I think you're jumping to conclusions. You should accept her offer if you want to, rather than assume all sorts of stuff. 1
Popsicle Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 That so? So, if you are on a date with a guy, instead of picking up the check and grabbing his wallet, he just looks at you and asks if you want him to pay, you wouldn't think anything of that? When someone actually wants to pay, they go about doing so. Just asking, while polite, doesn't really show anything. Plenty of women do that. I would never advise someone to do what plenty of people do. I would advise them to do better, because I do better. That's how you catch someone's interest on a date. Whatever you say, man...
mortensorchid Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 I have no problem with the man paying. A man who will not pay for a simple drink / coffee / meal is cheap and miserly. It doesn't matter if it's a second date or a fiftieth date, he should be happy to be with you. But be sure to thank him for his time and energy. 1
jay1983 Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 Whatever you say, man... It's true, they offer to pay, but if you accept, they don't like that. 1
Vintage79 Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 Offering to pay half seems stingy - if you're going to offer to pay something, just pick up the whole tab and take turns... 1
cessna Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 I have no problem with the man paying. A man who will not pay for a simple drink / coffee / meal is cheap and miserly. It doesn't matter if it's a second date or a fiftieth date, he should be happy to be with you. But be sure to thank him for his time and energy. And a woman who will not pay for a simple drink/coffee/meal isn't I guess? These things all add up you know. I would have no problems paying for drinks for a first or second date because I wouldn't do anything expensive like dinner for early dates. If it grew to be more than a few dates I'd expect to woman to chip in her fair share. If she didn't I'd be gone. 4
SunnySide0418 Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 It's true, they offer to pay, but if you accept, they don't like that. This is true for me. I went on a first date recently and asked him if he wanted money. The bill was $23 and he said "sure you can leave $5 tip... well, make it $8 so I pay an even $20". I was so turned off. NEXT
SunnySide0418 Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 What is the best way to go about paying for a 2nd date? My date and I will be having dinner and probably drinks. He paid for date 1 (2 rounds of drinks and appetizers.) I thanked him after he paid. The date also ended in making out before we parted ways. I like him so far and am enjoying getting to know him. Should I offer to split the bill for date 2? I'm not sure if this comes off as me showing I'm uninterested. I want to show that I am interested, but also not taking him/his money for granted. Best way to approach 2nd date bill? He's the man - he should be paying for a while. 1
SunnySide0418 Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 Whatever you do, don't do this. Acting as if a man has to pay for your time insults both of you, IMO. If I meet a woman who acts like I owe her for her time, I don't care if it's just something cheap like coffee...I'm out. Exactly. After meeting enough people like this, I can usually tell by the way they offer to pay (if they offer at all) whether or not they actually intend to pay. When a woman actually grabs the check to pay, that is a serious perk in my book. Chivalry sure is dead! How can you let a woman pay? I just don't get this!! Dating sure has changed in the last 10yrs. Men are not "men" anymore. 1
mightycpa Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 He's the man - he should be paying for a while.I almost agree with this. I think the way I'd say it is, if you're looking for something long term, try to find that with a guy who can pay for things without blinking an eye. When I dated, I was fully prepared to pay 100% wherever I was taking the young lady... and if I didn't like her, she wasn't going. If I wasn't sure, then the cost of the date reflected my ambivalence. Maybe if you feel strongly about it, offer to take him somewhere and tell him it's your treat. 1
SunnySide0418 Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 Then don't offer to pay if you don't mean it. That lack of sincerity does not help your cause. Chivalry was just a medieval code of conduct for battle. Had nothing to do with paying for women on a date. A lesser man would be hurt by this insult to his manhood. I am secure enough in my masculinity that I do not care what random Internet girls think of me. And my GF is happy either way I will not be offering to pay in the future. I don't typically offer and I'm not even sure why I did that time. As long as your GF is happy then great...
yxalitis Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 Ah, the old "Who pays" dealio.... I asked her out, I chose the place, so I pay. If, and I haven't had this happen to me, but IF the woman asked me out, and arranged the details, and she was financially secure, and paid the bill just like that, fine, otherwise, no, I'll pay. I consider the time, effort, and cosmetics cost to be their contribution to the date. Seriously guys, how much time and expense did YOU put in to personal grooming for the date?
cessna Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 It irritates me that there is a perception that the man should be doing all the work to impress the woman or in the words of mortensorchid "he should be happy to be with you". How arrogant can you get? Why can't that woman put in as much effort to impress? Why shouldn't the woman be just as happy to be spending time with him?
SunnySide0418 Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 It irritates me that there is a perception that the man should be doing all the work to impress the woman or in the words of mortensorchid "he should be happy to be with you". How arrogant can you get? Why can't that woman put in as much effort to impress? Why shouldn't the woman be just as happy to be spending time with him? We are happy to be with you but you being the man you should pay. It's the gallant, gentlemanly thing to do. Once the relationship is a little more established she can take you to dinner sometimes but men pay!!! Geez - my dad brought me up this way. Men are men and take care of the woman. It's just the way it is.
SunnySide0418 Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 It irritates me that there is a perception that the man should be doing all the work to impress the woman or in the words of mortensorchid "he should be happy to be with you". How arrogant can you get? Why can't that woman put in as much effort to impress? Why shouldn't the woman be just as happy to be spending time with him? I'm curious - how old are you? Seems more of the older generation has a different idea than the younger generation.
mightycpa Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 IF the woman asked me out, and arranged the details, and she was financially secure, and paid the bill just like that, fineBetter than fine. Much better than "Here, let me pay." It's a real treat for the girl to take the initiative on the 3rd, 4th or 5th date, to plan and pay. I always appreciated that a lot, and it was a genuine signal that I wasn't wasting my time. 1
Shining One Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 When the server comes back with the check, take it from them. Tell your date that since he paid for the first date, you think it's only fair that you pay for the second one. That would impress the crap out of me.OP, I believe this is the best way to accomplish your stated goals. If he offers to contribute, you can emphasize your interest by saying he can buy next time. I've only had a few women use this approach, but I was always impressed with it. I also stepped things up on the third date as a result. 2
utilisateur Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 Newsflash: The 1950's called, and want their women back. 1
aloneinaz Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 This has been an interesting read.. If I as the male ask the girl out on a date, I'm paying. If she wants to pay or insists on paying 1/2 on the first date, it's always been an indication to me that she's not interested in seeing me again. I'd hope that the woman would always say thanks for the drinks or dinner. For the first few dates that I ask her out on, I'm paying. If she offers to help, I'd refuse. Now, if I feel like the dating is turning more serious, I'd expect the girl to ask me out and pay for it occasionally or make me dinner at her place. I don't buy into "the guy ALWAYS pays".. If a girl I'm dating owns a mean pair of alligator arms (meaning she can never reach her purse) and never pays, she's out.. plain and simple..
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