neiceybaby89 Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 These words were spoken to me and it left me really confused. My boyfriend of almost 6 years spoke these word and i really think the things he said along with those words is what really has me confused. He told me that he is not in love and havent been for a while but he loves me and dont want to let me go. He said at this time he doesnt want to be in a relationship but he wants a future with me and wants us to have a family. So i asked him why have he been stringing me along if he felt like this and he responded by saying he strung me along because he felt like if he told me how he felt that he would lose me forever. I am so confused by the conversation and im bothered by it. I just dont understand. Does anyone knows what he could possibly mean by that. I just really feel like he is confused and not sure if he wants me or not but he dont want to let me go then regret it
Clarence_Boddicker Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 It's a stupid meaningless thing to say. Sounds like he wants to be FWB & have babies with you, but wants to date (have sex) with other girls. 4
stillafool Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 Yes he loves you because he feels you are a good person, like family to him in his heart, but he no longer has romantic feelings for you. He wants to be free to see if he develops romantic feelings for another girl if not he wants you to be the mother of his kids if he can't find her. Don't settle for this and waste your time and youth on him. Find a man who loves you in a romantic way and wants to marry you because he is in love with you. 4
Gloria25 Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 Why don't you ask him? BTW, at least he's not stringing you along... While I hate how he and others like to use the word "love" to describe something else (i.e. emotion, feelings, hornies, lust, infatuation, obsession, desperation) I think I understand his point... His point is he does see you as someone that IF one day he WANTED to get married and have kids with, you'd be it - but he doesn't want that in his life. I believe I am such of a situation. Where I could never be someone he would marry and/or have kids with, but he still desires me. So, he isn't gonna give up what he has with her - no matter how much he obsesses over me - cuz in the long run, he's at the point in his life where family and marriage is a priority for him. So, he does his little things perhaps in hopes I don't lose my attraction for him - even though he knows he has no plans for me, cuz he doesn't wanna let go of the feeeling/ego boost/or whatever I do for him. So, in your case, he probably wants to play and get his wild oats sowed - until he's ready to crawl back to you when he wants to settle down. It's up to you if you wanna stick around for that. But if you "do" decide to ask him to elaborate, why don't you ask him "what is it" that you're not doing for him and maybe you can work on giving him what he needs. I mean, does he want you to be thinner, sexier, riskier? I don't get how some guys wanna separate women into Madonnas or ho's. Cuz, seriously, let's say he does marry you one day - how could someone be in a RL for years with someone they are lukewarm about? I finally watched "The Loft" on Friday night and I must say it was very good. I was tired, but within minutes I was wide awake and even after it was over I was still energized. I like movies like that - psychological thrillers - that keep you guessing until the end. It had scary, sexy, thrilling, learning lessons, etc all in one!!! Anywho, funny how some guys can commit to a woman they have one, two, kids with - and are freakin' miserable with her for whatever reason (i.e she's boring, mean, demanding, etc). You oughta check out that movie. I wouldn't want a guy to marry me knowing I wasn't what he really wanted and he settled. I mean there "are" couples out there who have the Madonna/Ho in their wife and/or their needs met. If he doesn't see that in you, then better you find a guy who sees you are everything he needs.
Popsicle Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 I do not understand this statement either. All I hear is DOOM. 2
amaysngrace Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 In simple terms, it means he likes your heart and mind better than your tits and ass.
newmoon Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 he is no longer in love with you, but he'll keep you around until someone he likes better comes along. don't allow yourself to stay with a guy who has expressly stated he is no longer in love with you. you already wasted too long on him. 1
Arieswoman Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 neiceybaby89, So you've been with this guy for 6 years and still haven't made any definite plans for the future? So how long are you going to wait for this guy to either tinkle of get off the potty? I'm sorry, but I can't see him making his mind up anytime soon - and why should he when he's getting all he wants without a permanent comittment? As for this "I love you but I'm not 'in love' with you" rubbish. In my experience that's what cheaters say to the betrayed partner to keep them on side while they continue to have their cake and eat it. I know it's hard when you're emotionally invested but IMO this guy's wasting your time. You need to find someone who really into you. Good luck x
devilish innocent Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 I agree with your last statement. He's wondering if there's something better out there, but he's afraid of losing you and then regretting it. If he says he doesn't want a relationship at this time, then the relationship is over. You can't wait around as his back up plan when he may never come back to you.
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