pagey88 Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 (edited) Hey guys/gals me and my gf been together for 2 years. Just recently thibgs went a bit funny. Ive read through a few of the posts on here and alot of people are mentioning the nc rule. The more i read the more i realise shes probably just taking the easy way out. She sent me a text saying we need to talk. And gave me a time period for the next afternoon. Obviously i was gutted and shocked. So the next afternoon came around and i waited and waited for her to text me to say where and when she wanted to meet up. But it never came. I left it to 7pm and said so im avaliable to talk when do you want to do that? Her reply I dont know... so i went on to ask was she still deciding on what she wants? She said yeah i am. Now the more i read i feel like shes just waiting till shes strong enough or moved on to have the talk. But on the other hand (little hope) i know what kind of person she is and she may actually be really thinking about it. I asked if she wanted some space she said yes please but now after reading posts im wondering if shes just gunna use that time to move on and either tell me later or not ever actually tell me. I am prepared and would rather have it happen now raather then later. I must add too that she still does contact me and i dont contact her often. I dont say i miss her or still love her i just reply with one worders. She also hasnt changed anything like she hasnt gone to single and isnt getting out and about. She sends me texts saying she feels sick stuff like that but i dont give in to that. On the other hand im not a jerk i still wanna been seen as the caring person i am. Edited May 31, 2015 by pagey88
Jimmyjackson Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 The less you say the better in this situation, let her have her space. If she is going to break up with you, she will do it regardless of how you act. Stay away, sometimes people don't know what they got until it's gone. This is your best bet, make her miss you. 2
Author pagey88 Posted May 31, 2015 Author Posted May 31, 2015 Yeah I was thinking that. Just wondering in this situation if she contacts me is it worth replying even if its a simple one wooder like im good thanks if she asks how im feeling or how im doing? Im mentally prepared to be strong enough to not contact just cautious as to wether she really is thinking or just waiting till she is strong enough to let me go.
Plaster Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 Just give her space but prepare for the worst mate. I didn't give my ex space and it made things worse.
hestheone66 Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 Unsure of your backstory but if you dont love or miss her there's little point. sounds more like your ego doesn't want you to be seen as 'the bad guy'. Take the time to assess if there's more positives than negatives and if the balance is negative you pull the pin in a matter of fact but caring way. Maybe the relationship has run its course. Prolonging the ending is futile ..don't be the guy that waits around to get dumped.
FistOfTheNorthStar Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 You are truly being strong and trust me, being a caring person as well, it's not worth waiting on someone so indecisive. No contact can help either show how much the love can expand or diminish. Although it may be painful, its what will work. The Truth will set you free. -F 1
Author pagey88 Posted May 31, 2015 Author Posted May 31, 2015 I mean she still has said she still loves me but that could be because shes not strong enough to let me go. Obviously i dont want to let her go but obviously i get the idea if you have to think about it then theres a high chance it wont continue. The thing thats hurting me the moet is that she doednt have the guts to tell me exactly what it is or let alone in person which is all im asking form
prd Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 I was in a similar situation about 2 months ago. Long story short, ex girlfriend and I had a small argument because I started noticing her becoming more quiet and sort of distant in person and I questioned her about it. She gave all these excuses and immediately after the argument she gave me the silent treatment the entire next day. After that, we sort of reconciled and she hit me with "I don't know what I want I need time and space" to which I gave her for a week. That whole week, she initiated texts everyday, sent good night texts with smiley faces, so I was beyond confused. After the week of space, I text and asked if we could talk about the whole 'space' thing and what exactly was going on. Later that night, she breaks up with me over the phone irrate and upset because I sent her a snapchat of me out with friends and didn't let her know I was out (which of course was an excuse to end it and an easy way out).
Jimmyjackson Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 I mean she still has said she still loves me but that could be because shes not strong enough to let me go. Obviously i dont want to let her go but obviously i get the idea if you have to think about it then theres a high chance it wont continue. The thing thats hurting me the moet is that she doednt have the guts to tell me exactly what it is or let alone in person which is all im asking form You seem pretty logical and level headed about it all which is good. Honestly, if she wants you out of her life, whether it be permanent or temporary...grant her that wish.
mightycpa Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 she still has said she still loves me a lot of them say that ****. they don't mean it. they're just cowards, because they think that you might die if you knew the truth. In their heads, they project their own weakness on you. Take some initiative. Send her a text and say something like You know, I was going to break up with you when we were going to meet, but you didn't even think enough of me to show up. So I'm doing it this way instead. Don't call me, I'll call you.Trust me when I say that in a few years, you'll be patting yourself on the back for that move.
Author pagey88 Posted June 1, 2015 Author Posted June 1, 2015 So im right to expect the worst. I think the most comfusibg thing is as she said she still hasnt decided. And we agreed to give her space to decide but i am unsure how legit she is thinking about it all. I dont wanna ask and say look are you really using the time to consider our future or is she just waiting till i give up or until she has fully moved on. Cos its easy to say im still deciding through a text message as you cant see their expression or body language.
mightycpa Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 So im right to expect the worst.Oh yeah, you are. Think about it like this - forget whether or not she thinks she loves you, because that is not the question at hand. The question is: Does she want to stay with you? If the answer isn't an immediate and hearty YES! then you're just waiting for the inevitable, whether it happens right away, or six months from now.
Author pagey88 Posted June 1, 2015 Author Posted June 1, 2015 So mightycpa should i just confront the issue and ask for answers now or wait for a bit and then find out?
mightycpa Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 So mightycpa should i just confront the issue and ask for answers now or wait for a bit and then find out?I've already said what I'd do if I were you. A good way to understand the difference between my perspective and yours is that you're WAITING for an answer, and my contention is that you've already received it. You're not going to feel any better when she makes it official, and apparently, she's quite willing to leave you hanging until she's up to the task. You might as well go out in a show of strength, so that she'll remember you without feeling all that pity for you.
Author pagey88 Posted June 1, 2015 Author Posted June 1, 2015 Very true thats what keeps crossing my mind. But i am not sure how to approach that situation i want her to tell me in person.
Author pagey88 Posted June 3, 2015 Author Posted June 3, 2015 Just to update guys. I went around there and essentially said your hurting me more by not telling me what the is. She said shes got some issues but also didntmention what they were. I asked why she bailed on me before hand she said i didnt want to hurt you. Then said i dont want to loose you forever. She was open to the idea that maybe in the future we could have a chance. But im not holding my breath. It wasnt a messy break up though.
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