katiegrl Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 ***Truth*** (((group hug))) Good luck and keep us posted! 1
Author FLfemale Posted May 31, 2015 Author Posted May 31, 2015 (((group hug))) Good luck and keep us posted! Awww!! Thanks I like this place. Maybe I'll get the chance to help out someone else.
spiderowl Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 (edited) You do realise you are in an abusive relationship? If you don't, maybe it would help you to find out more about such relationships. Try reading up on 'cycle of abuse' as this describes your partner's behaviour exactly. You know his behaviour is not acceptable. The question is, why are you still with him? If you are not afraid of him, then you must get something out of this kind of relationship. Maybe you need a dominant guy. Unfortunately, he's not just dominant, he's abusive too. If you really don't want him to behave this way, then read, talk to the advisers at a women's refuge, find out more about abusive behaviour and how it can control the victim. Oh dear, my post is well out of date Good luck with your escape plan! xx Edited May 31, 2015 by spiderowl 1
Author FLfemale Posted June 1, 2015 Author Posted June 1, 2015 You do realise you are in an abusive relationship? If you don't, maybe it would help you to find out more about such relationships. Try reading up on 'cycle of abuse' as this describes your partner's behaviour exactly. You know his behaviour is not acceptable. The question is, why are you still with him? If you are not afraid of him, then you must get something out of this kind of relationship. Maybe you need a dominant guy. Unfortunately, he's not just dominant, he's abusive too. If you really don't want him to behave this way, then read, talk to the advisers at a women's refuge, find out more about abusive behaviour and how it can control the victim. Oh dear, my post is well out of date Good luck with your escape plan! xx Not out of date at all. I appreciate the input. Thank you! I'm scared of him but I've had enough. It's now or never. It's quiet right now and I'm hoping it stays that way.
Redhead14 Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 My 35 yo bf and I have been together, on and off, for 5 years. We don't live together and we're not going to live together because he won't manage his temper. He stormed out of my house last night, screamed "**** YOU" at the top of his lungs and slammed the door. First, he got mad (yes, mad) because he didn't like the brand of hot dogs that I made for him as a snack or the kind of chips I had in the house. "Apparently, I'm going to have to go to McDonald's when I leave." You could see the anger on his face. I picked the food up off the table and took it back to the kitchen. He yells across the room that now the least I could do was come over and "suck his cock" but I offered sex instead. I can't even explain the frenzy he was in to climb on top of me. When I shifted my leg over so I could quickly smear some lube on me, he freaked out and jumped up like he was on fire. He screamed at me that I was pushing him away. That's when he snatched his clothes up and left. I explained what I was doing but he was hearing nothing. So I woke up this morning to more "**** you" messages and I chose to ignore them. I'm not a teenager who lives and dies by the cellphone, so I'm not wasting my entire day arguing with him over texts while he's at work and I'm cleaning my house. I sent him that message but it just made things worse. Now he texts that I'm ignoring him on purpose just to piss him off and he's calling me a dumbass and says that I'm causing his anger. He feels completely justified to say anything and everything he wants when he's mad. He name calls, cusses me out, and says horrible things. When his temper has finally blown over, he thinks that I should just forget it all. He doesn't take responsibility for how he handles conflict. When he calms down, he tells me that he loves me, I drive him crazy, I'm his soulmate, etc. I'm having a hard time dealing with this because it's not how I resolve conflict. I don't call him every nasty thing that I can think of when I'm upset about something. I'm not perfect, sometimes I raise my voice, but I explain what I'm mad about and why I'm mad. I've hinted in the past that we might be better off going our separate ways but that doesn't end well either. He's convinced himself that we are supposed to be together. I simply cannot handle him. He's texting me over and over, demanding a reply. He says I should make up for last night by cooking for him and then giving him sex like I'm supposed to. If I don't respond, he's going to start calling me a bitch, a cunt, a dumb ass, lazy, the cause of his anger, etc., but he won't let me break up with him. He'll come over after work and bang on my door and send me 1000 text messages and complain that I have wasted the last five years of his life. Seriously, go no contact PERIOD. It's over. I wouldn"t even bother explaining it to him. If he comes to your home, you call the police. This is apparently not a one time thing. You've said he has difficulty with his temper. I'm surprised you stuck it out for 5 years. It's not a matter of him not letting you break up, you just plain do it. 1
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