confident2255 Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 If you guys read my last story about my ex, then I have decided what I am going to do and I want all of your opinions. So, go to my last thread and read it. What I am going to do is I am going to text her (maybe in a week) and say "Hey I've been thinking about the last time we talked and I'm gonna keep my options open moving forward, just like what you have been doing, and just see what happens" That's it. She's always been used to me giving her attention for the past year, and when it is not there, I believe it will open her eyes to what she is missing. I am doing this for myself, not because I want her back, but because I cannot wait around forever for somebody who is not 100% down for me. If she was down for me, then she would obviously tell me. I also believe that I am being a man here. It shows that I am not always going to be available to her and I am not waiting around for her and being miserable. So, I am going to be straight up and tell her this sooner or later. Let me know what you think about this, and give me your honest opinion on her reaction. Is this a good idea?
misspond Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 Having read your previous thread I think you should definitely not call or text her. Let it go. You're actually sending out very mixed messages, to yourself mostly. 2
rocketman122 Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 you may want to write a short summary of your previous post because your current post wont make any sense to people seeing this. 1
Author confident2255 Posted May 31, 2015 Author Posted May 31, 2015 Why is this a bad idea? I'm just telling her I am not waiting for her anymore. Wouldn't she want to hear that?
Author confident2255 Posted May 31, 2015 Author Posted May 31, 2015 I tried to but it would not let me?
misspond Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 Why is this a bad idea? I'm just telling her I am not waiting for her anymore. Wouldn't she want to hear that? Let me get this straight. You were together, you broke up with her (you needed time) but said you'd get her back. You got back together then she broke up with you. Then you hung out and talked about all the great stuff you'd done when you were together. She told you that she loved you but wasn't in love with you. Then she indicates you could maybe get back together, at some undetermined time in the future. Then: "What I am going to do is I am going to text her (maybe in a week) and say "Hey I've been thinking about the last time we talked and I'm gonna keep my options open moving forward, just like what you have been doing, and just see what happens" That's it. She's always been used to me giving her attention for the past year, and when it is not there, I believe it will open her eyes to what she is missing." You're trying to manipulate something here. Just leave it be. If she wants to come back to you she will. I think the two of you would be best both moving on. 1
fitnessfan365 Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 Be honest man. The only reason why you want to text her is because you hope she responds. If you really wanted to move on and were done waiting on her, you'd simply delete her from your phone and focus on meeting other women.
dyna85 Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 Do not contact her. Actions speak louder than words. Your silence would much more loudly communicate what you intend to message her as noted above. If you send her that message, it will just give her an ego boost - trust me - and won't have the intended effect you want it to have. Let it be and keep searching.
cessna Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 Playing mind games like this doesn't make you a man. Being honest with your feelings and not trying to trick someone into loving you makes you a man. I've never bought the whole "people are attracted to what they can't have" thing either. Where is the evidence for this exactly? It is something that people say all the time like it is some sort of physiological fact when I really don't think it is. People are attracted to what they want. I want an Aston Martin not because I can't have it but because I like cars and it is something I'd enjoy owning and driving. If I won the lottery tomorrow and could afford that Aston would I suddenly not want that very same car? Of course I would. No different with women or anything else.
Dallers Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 This kind of thing only works when you are not knowingly doing it. You're message is so obviously prepared and anyone on here can see that so no it won't work and then you will end up feeling miserable and sorry for yourself and chasing after her. Learn the art of walking away. It is not about no contact until she gives in and comes back it is about giving a person only ONE chance and making sure they know they only get one chance with you and if they choose to give up that one chance that is it. Goodbye. Farewell. Game over. I have had my fair share of back and forward relationships and they are so toxic to your social skills and dating life. She is not thinking about you most likely or caring that does not have your full attention but you are injecting all your time and effort into her which inevitably will do more harm to you than anything else.
ZA Dater Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 This kind of thing only works when you are not knowingly doing it. You're message is so obviously prepared and anyone on here can see that so no it won't work and then you will end up feeling miserable and sorry for yourself and chasing after her. Learn the art of walking away. It is not about no contact until she gives in and comes back it is about giving a person only ONE chance and making sure they know they only get one chance with you and if they choose to give up that one chance that is it. Goodbye. Farewell. Game over. I have had my fair share of back and forward relationships and they are so toxic to your social skills and dating life. She is not thinking about you most likely or caring that does not have your full attention but you are injecting all your time and effort into her which inevitably will do more harm to you than anything else. Thanks for typing this, honestly I needed to read this at this moment, the second paragraph being the most profound for me. Its extremely difficult to let go but as you say you end up harming yourself more which is exactly what I have done to myself. 1
Dallers Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 Thanks for typing this, honestly I needed to read this at this moment, the second paragraph being the most profound for me. Its extremely difficult to let go but as you say you end up harming yourself more which is exactly what I have done to myself. I was also in the same boat recently and when you truly want something you will think of any way to get it back. Everyone is the same when love is involved and nobody can escape it even the toughest of us. You know what you have to do. It is about being strong enough to do it. Some can, some can't. When you reach the point of being able to walk clean away and not look back you know you have your **** together and that is when people will start coming back. Of course, they had their chance and will not get another no matter what they do. Stay strong.
Author confident2255 Posted May 31, 2015 Author Posted May 31, 2015 Most of you guys don't understand that she left me hanging! She left me telling me that there is still a chance, and I'm over here just waiting. I want to move on and stop with this sadness and stop with keep on wondering. I just want some closure and I want to tell her that.
caringsister Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 Most of you guys don't understand that she left me hanging! She left me telling me that there is still a chance, and I'm over here just waiting. I want to move on and stop with this sadness and stop with keep on wondering. I just want some closure and I want to tell her that. I'm sorry that you are hurting. I know it is hard to wait around and hoping that maybe today is the day she'll call and I'll find out which way to go with my live. You've put yourself on hold and are tiring of waiting as time passes by. Don't wait around for someone else to decide your future. You don't owe her a text. You hope by sending it she will respond and maybe then you'll know if there is a future or not with her. I'd say the lack of communication on her part speaks for itself. Some times we just have to accept that we may not get closure so we have to create our own. I wouldn't send the text. I would just wash my hands of her and wake up tomorrow available and open to new opportunities that might come your way.
Author confident2255 Posted June 1, 2015 Author Posted June 1, 2015 You're so right on all those aspects.. Yeah she might come back if she knows I'm moving on and not waiting around, but would it even be a healthy relationship? No, it would not be at all. It's time to move on.. I'm over this **** for good.
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