dreamer2015 Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 Hey guys, I am in a situation where I definitely need to hear other people's view & advice other than what my best friends have to offer. My current job requires every month we work in teams of two to reach a certain goal. Teams get assembled every two months then afterwards its a NEW team and different coworker. In one of the teams, I came to meet this girl, Ashley (Lets call her that). mid 20s, very beautiful, quiet, Christian (VERY big into Church), and she is a single mom. I, myself, I can be talkative when I warm up to someone, I am outgoing, smart, love sports just like any other guy, and I am in my late 20's. The first week of those two months we got to know each other as colleagues. What she likes, hobbies, siblings, etc (just general stuff). As weeks progressed, we started becoming really close. We always had deep meaningful conversation especially when it came to political views, Christianity, and mostly current events. She loves Netflix and everyday we were recommending each other whats good to watch after work or during the weekends. One cold morning as we were working on a project she stops and runs to her purse and says, i had a dream about you last night. I always write my dreams down. i cant forget this." She gets her diary out and writes it down. "What was it about?" I ask. She replies "We left work and decided to go to the beach." lol. I had a good laugh. (We live about half an hour away from the beach) on the 5th week, I had to go into another team because they needed my help. Came back on the 7th week on the team I was with Ashley.. we talk and she says, "I had really missed us" I pretended I did not hear then I asked "I didn't hear you?" Then she said "I missed you" I tend to believe the biggest turning point was when I sent her a text on Mother's day and described her as a "wonderful, beautiful, and most importantly a spiritual mother." How did it change? we flirted a little bit more. got touchy but not inappropriately. There was also a good energy when we were together. Always enjoyed each other's company.At work, there is a room that I am assigned to where I usually do all of my projects. One day during lunch, I returned a little bit early because I had to finish on some work. When I opened the door, she was changing. Didn't have any pants. Closed the door quickly, apologized and both laughed about it. Also, a few days later, one of my colleagues comes up to her while we are browsing through the net together and says.....you guys would make a good couple and she smiles. The next day, she did not come to work. so a good amount of the time we were texting each other but i wasn't being consistence with replying because of the amount of work I had.She later sent me a meme with a skeleton sitting on a chair waiting for a text from someone. "Thats me" Thats what she said. She also brings up the whole situation me walking into the room while she was changing and saying how embarrassed she was. One day as we were texting I asked her if she got anything planned out over the weekend and she said she will be doing some work at the church but other than that she will be free. By now her text replies had gone from instant reply to loooooong reply. I text her and ask her "if she would like to go to a jazz restaurant in Brooklyn." She replies waaaay later and says "That sounds like a great idea but im hesitant." "Why are you Hesitant?" I ask "Because I dont know you well." She replies. I got confused because all that time, she had opened up about her whole entire life to me. Some of the stuff we have talked about, you can only tell someone that you feel comfortable with. Anyways, when we came back to work.......it was time to get a new teammate. At work, we were both avoiding each other even though we were not in the same team. we didnt say much apart from a few words. A few days later, my new teammate gets into my phone that i had left on my desk and was using my phone cause hers had died. As soon as I came back in, Ashley walked in a few mins later. Then this girl started saying..."Jake, I am browsing through your facebook messages" Ashley went somewhere she thought I couldnt see her and was showing her gestures to tell her what she sees on my facebook inbox. Then the other girl looks at Ashley and says, where is your phone? let me see what guys you are talking to.(I know.....this is sad because it happens). Ashley runs to her new room, comes back and says...check.The other girl looks around and ask who is daniel "Thats my son's father." Ashley Says Since then we still havent said much, we avoid each other. when im not in my room and maybe gone for lunch......when i come back, i mostly find her in there but as soon as i walk in, she walks out. On friday, she did the same thing....I walked in, I smiled and said "hey." She replies "Hey. I gotta go" (It was time to leave work). Basically, I want giving her the same amount of attention i used to give her before. This morning, we had gone with a friend out and ordered a good lunch. took a photo of it, posted it on fb, with the caption....Thanks for the treat. She later likes and comments on it (Since I asked her out, our facebook converation went to zero. no tagging on articles, photos, videos, etc). this was the first time in 3 wks. I am confused, guys. Am I overlooking everything? Do I have a chance with her?
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 Can't believe I read this whole thing ... Lol.. I don't know, it sounds like she's not interested if she's avoiding you, so i'd say no? you probably don't have a chance. You need to dial back your interest in her, she's probably a bit freaked out that shes giving you signals that she isn't interested and you keep initiating.
LookAtThisPOst Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 Can't believe I read this whole thing ... Lol.. I don't know, it sounds like she's not interested if she's avoiding you, so i'd say no? you probably don't have a chance. You need to dial back your interest in her, she's probably a bit freaked out that shes giving you signals that she isn't interested and you keep initiating. After all that she says, "I don't know you that well." What a lame excuse. lol. I'd even call her on it.
still_an_Angel Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 She's cautious, not sure why, I think she likes you but there's something that's pulled her back. Why don't you ask her formally for a date?
Author dreamer2015 Posted May 31, 2015 Author Posted May 31, 2015 I know its quite of a long read. A mini book perhaps. lol. Sorry about that. I had to include almost everything I have encountered with her so that I can get a fair share of advice from members. Still confused on what to do?? My friends think I should not give her any attention (not to be rude but act like she aint around).
Vercetti Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 Single mom, Christian, work. Do you want to be a dad, are you god, do you want to complicate your job. Well, there it is.
Author dreamer2015 Posted May 31, 2015 Author Posted May 31, 2015 Single mom, Christian, work. Do you want to be a dad, are you god, do you want to complicate your job. Well, there it is. Good points but could you elaborate more?
Vercetti Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 If so Christian, why a single mom. If so into the religion is she just using something external to justify " being a good person." Is showing up three times a week and fellowship a replacement for really sorting self out. Would you have to jump through artificial Jesus hoops that perhaps her child's dad never had to endure. Are you willing to take a back seat to her child and perhaps entire congregation. If so, want to sleep with a hypocrite out of marriage, only to get bible banged to death. Do you not want to sleep with her or get married and be high on life. Do you want to deal with the girl at work if it goes sour or well.
Dallers Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 Curse those cute Christian girls. You cannot choose who you like but you also cannot afford to throw away your career. The first question always to ask is can you afford to lose your job? Then proceed from there.
Author dreamer2015 Posted May 31, 2015 Author Posted May 31, 2015 As much as I don't like most of the replies/advice I get, I sincerely know they hold great value in the situation I am in. I am thinking of ignoring her in a polite manner to be my next move. I just dont want to give her anymore attention that would result in regretting later. would this be a better move or is it a d*ck move?
Satu Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 As much as I don't like most of the replies/advice I get, I sincerely know they hold great value in the situation I am in. I am thinking of ignoring her in a polite manner to be my next move. I just dont want to give her anymore attention that would result in regretting later. would this be a better move or is it a d*ck move? I would step back a bit rather than ignoring her.
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