kasop Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 2 months sense she broke up with me and 1 month of nc. I was a mess a couple of weeks ago and blocked her them unblocked her. Sent her another friend request and she accepted it. I blocked her posts from my news feed. That was a few weeks ago. I was looking someone up with a similar name and she poped up. I got aggrivated and unfriended her again. Now im freaking out and i feel like im about to have a panic attack. All this did was stick her back into my mind. This really might seem like a pointless post but this has been one of the hardest things ive ever been through in my life. Hense me being all over this site latley. Uhg did i do the right thing? I wish i just had let it be. Ill look ridiculous if i send her another request. All i want to do is move on but god i still love her. 1
pa888 Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 I unfriended the day after break up two months ago because just seeing him on the message bar on the side hurt too much. I've wondered whether I made the right decision but then I realized I did it for my own personal healing, and I don't really care how it affected him. If he ever realizes he made a mistake he can still message me, but I doubt that that will ever happen My answer is stay unfriended because it is best for you You no longer have to put your ex's needs above your own or be concerned with how they feel about what you do 2
joseb Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 People, it's no big deal what you do regarding friending unfriending blocking etc on Facebook. People act as if Facebook is life and death, as if what they do is extremely important. Do what you want to help you move on. This usually means unfriending and blocking, simply so you are not seeing unwanted pics and updates 2
Author kasop Posted May 31, 2015 Author Posted May 31, 2015 I unfriended the day after break up two months ago because just seeing him on the message bar on the side hurt too much. I've wondered whether I made the right decision but then I realized I did it for my own personal healing, and I don't really care how it affected him. If he ever realizes he made a mistake he can still message me, but I doubt that that will ever happen My answer is stay unfriended because it is best for you You no longer have to put your ex's needs above your own or be concerned with how they feel about what you do Thank you for the positive response. Ive been taking the necessary steps in moving on, but for some reason i have it in the back of my head that if i kept posting positive statuses and selfies she would see them and it would tug on her heart strings. I know this is a far stretch and the thoughts are just keeping her on my mind. I know i did it for myself but i just feel plain embarresed that this is the 2nd time ive had to do this. Let alone all the begging i did for a month.
Author kasop Posted May 31, 2015 Author Posted May 31, 2015 People, it's no big deal what you do regarding friending unfriending blocking etc on Facebook. People act as if Facebook is life and death, as if what they do is extremely important. Do what you want to help you move on. This usually means unfriending and blocking, simply so you are not seeing unwanted pics and updates You are right that its not life or death but its the only connection i have left with this person so ending ist is kinda a big deal. We both spend alot of our time on facebook just like alot of people nowadays.
pa888 Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 Yea I completely understand that reasoning, I know many people think that way and it seems logical. But I feel like unfriending would have a better effect than that I of course don't really know what my ex is thinking, but this is how I imagined it. By unfriending them I show him that I am no longer concerned with what he does in life, granted he wasn't much for posting on FB or anything. But the LAST thing I wanted to see was him with a new girl. This shows him that he is no longer the center of my world, and he'll have to come to terms with that. Not only this, but much more importantly he would not be able to see what is going on in MY life. While seeing me happy and positive might make him jealous, I also feel that an ex could also possibly construe it as fake, as you trying to get a response out of them. And that just didn't sound like moving on to me. By unfriending him he no longer has the ability to see what is going on in my life, he doesn't know if I'm happy living my life or miserable without him. And i only hope that doubt and not really knowing will drive him crazy (it's my only form of revenge). He may have seen pics of me with mutual friends having fun, and in that way he can see me enjoying life without me having to deliberately make it apparent to him. Or maybe the other poster is right and FB means nothing. For the younger gen like us we do tend to think it means a lot Ultimately the choice is yours. But please please do what is best for you 1
Author kasop Posted May 31, 2015 Author Posted May 31, 2015 Yea I completely understand that reasoning, I know many people think that way and it seems logical. But I feel like unfriending would have a better effect than that I of course don't really know what my ex is thinking, but this is how I imagined it. By unfriending them I show him that I am no longer concerned with what he does in life, granted he wasn't much for posting on FB or anything. But the LAST thing I wanted to see was him with a new girl. This shows him that he is no longer the center of my world, and he'll have to come to terms with that. Not only this, but much more importantly he would not be able to see what is going on in MY life. While seeing me happy and positive might make him jealous, I also feel that an ex could also possibly construe it as fake, as you trying to get a response out of them. And that just didn't sound like moving on to me. By unfriending him he no longer has the ability to see what is going on in my life, he doesn't know if I'm happy living my life or miserable without him. And i only hope that doubt and not really knowing will drive him crazy (it's my only form of revenge). He may have seen pics of me with mutual friends having fun, and in that way he can see me enjoying life without me having to deliberately make it apparent to him. Or maybe the other poster is right and FB means nothing. For the younger gen like us we do tend to think it means a lot Ultimately the choice is yours. But please please do what is best for you That really is the best way to think about it. I feel alot better about my decision now. The reason i blocked her the first time was i had a feelng she was creeping on my facebook keeping tabs on me and i didnt want to let her have that ability. Thats why she accepted my request back. Or she was being nice. But thats the only nice thing shes done sense we broke up so its probably not true. Anyways i ll stick with it and continue on with healing. Thank you for the response its made me feel alot better ☺
pa888 Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 Yea that's probably the hardest part about a breakup, not really knowing what our ex was or is thinking. There could be many possible reasons she accepted the request, but unless you ask and she tells you truthfully you'll never know. I too doubted whether unfriending was too harsh, mainly because if he ever wanted to come back maybe it would deter him. But then I told myself to snap out of it, if unfriending an ex is enough to make them not even try to fix what they broke, then they aren't serious about fixing it. He knows where I live and other ways of reaching me. But I'm starting to doubt he'll ever come back. Which is better because that's when you can start moving on and focusing on better things. So best of luck to ya, it sounds like you are making progress, and trust me every day will get better 1
BC1980 Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 You are right that its not life or death but its the only connection i have left with this person so ending ist is kinda a big deal. We both spend alot of our time on facebook just like alot of people nowadays. FB isn't a real connection to someone. Half of the people I'm "friends" with on FB, I haven't even seen in years and probably never will. FB is a fake connection to an ex. It's not a human connection or a real relationship. 3
prd Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 My ex girlfriend broke up with me and unfriended me on Facebook like 3 days later and unfriended my best friend as well. Another mutual friend told me she did it because it upset her to see any of our posts or check-ins together. Even after she unfriended me, I admittedly still peeped her page because some of her posts were set to public so anyone can see. This all stopped about 2 weeks after the unfriending because one day I checked her page and nothing new was there. The next day, I checked and she had a few pictures up of her and her friends out at a club saying "best night ever" etc. The thing was, she had actually posted the pics when I checked the previous day, but she changed it from only friends can see to public just so I would see. It kind of hurt and to this day I haven't looked at her page (been about 6 weeks now). It has really helped me to move forward. 1
ColdandLonelyinAK Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 Science proves that you should un-friend your ex on Facebook Read that. There was a study done about this. I deleted my ex from FB as he was packing his things when he broke up with me, and I never looked back. I've also blocked him. I don't want to see him, know who he's talking to, nothing. If you're that upset over your ex, try blocking her so you don't have to see her for awhile. Trust me when I say it helps. Even seeing my ex's picture was too hard, so I blocked. It has helped immensely. You can always re-add and unblock later when you're feeling better.
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