Honeychild Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 I'm new here, so bear with me please. I broke up with my b/f 3 months ago, he was living with me and my 2 kids... he has 2 kids also, not living with us though, and a crazy ex wife, things got extremely bad, ex started phoning all the time, threatening, leaving nasty messages, emails etc... his kids started lying etc... I decided me and my kids could not live like this for the rest of our lives. I ended it, it was extremely hard I love this man so much. I decided to have the no contact rule, it was too hard for me to hear his voice etc. He kept calling me until a week ago, as I told him if he respected me and ever loved me please let me alone and let me get on with my life. I know this has been hard on him also, this is as he said "the last thing he ever wanted". I was driving home from work last week and drove by him, I seriously felt like I had been punched in the stomach, I went home and thank goodness my kids were staying at there fathers that night cause well I cried for a good couple of hours. I just wonder to myself if he's going through all this too, I thought after 3 months I'd be doing better, I try to put him out of my mind but don't succeed very well. I wonder if he goes through the days continually thinking about me. ARGH... when will my heart stop hurting. Thanks for listening. M
Marshbear Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 Your heart will hurt as you remember all the good times you had and the absence of him will make it ache. When I would see my ex in the car she would act so nervous I thought she might get in a wreck. I would try to avoid her so she could forget me but I missed her as well and sometimes I wanted to see her. It is a catch-22. I'm sure he is thinking about you as well and going through his own demons. Break-ups are hard on both. You want to see them but you don't dare because it will hurt to see if they are happy without you. I wish I knew a quick fix but there is none. You have to let your feelings die down over time and distance. Keep yourself busy so you don't dwell to much and know that he is feeling bad as well. Try to forgive each other and you will be alright...
Author Honeychild Posted April 25, 2005 Author Posted April 25, 2005 Your so right, I mean I knew he saw me in traffic but i just couldn't look his way when I drove by, He asked me 2 weeks ago to meet him for lunch and I just knew I couldn't... one look in those eyes and I would have been done. I just need to stay strong, and hope that he is doing well too. In another lifetime maybe we would have made it... but not this one.
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