Popsicle Posted May 30, 2015 Posted May 30, 2015 So, I reached out to a guy on a dating site. He responds and then I asked him if he had met anyone yet. He says yes but that he goes on the dating site from time to time just to chat with people. I'm not a big chatter, so at that point, I lost interest, wished him luck and thought that would be the end. He then asks if I have been on any dates from the dating site yet. I responded that I had only been on one and haven't met anyone else yet. He then asks me if I'm looking for someone to marry or to date and if I was interested in chatting outside of the website. The guy is seeing someone already so what does he want with me? If he wants to be friends, why? Give me the scoop please and tell me how I'm supposed to handle this.
Sunlight72 Posted May 30, 2015 Posted May 30, 2015 If you are looking for a boyfriend, just stop replying to this guy, and don't read his messages if he sends any more. He's playing the field. He's not looking for a girlfriend (not just one), he's looking for a(nother) sidegirl. If you don't want that, completely stop conversing with him. 2
smackie9 Posted May 30, 2015 Posted May 30, 2015 You have better things to do than waste your time on this sketchy guy. If it doesn't feel right then it's not. We can only guess like yourself what his deal is. Dating sites are full of sexual predators/pervs and players. Ya got to follow your gut instincts. 1
Torii Posted May 30, 2015 Posted May 30, 2015 If it doesn't feel right to you, I say quit speaking with the guy. We all have those gut instincts and I suggest you follow yours, because 100% of the time they're right about people. 1
fitnessfan365 Posted May 30, 2015 Posted May 30, 2015 Well "meeting someone" and being "exclusive" are two different things. I meet women all the time but that doesn't mean I have a GF at the moment. So my advice would be to look for clarification. If he's casually dating that's one thing. But if he says he has a GF that he's exclusive with, it's weird that he'd be going on a dating site just to "chat". 1
Author Popsicle Posted May 30, 2015 Author Posted May 30, 2015 I think I just got my answer. I told him that I was looking for a relationship, and that he was seeing someone already. He responded "Yes, I am. Have you tried Tinder I had better luck with that". Still don't get why he wants to chat....
fitnessfan365 Posted May 30, 2015 Posted May 30, 2015 Could be that he wants to have back up options on the hook just in case. But yeah chatting is lame. I met this woman on OKC the other day. Said she wanted to keep chatting on the site. I said that I had enjoyed getting to know her so far, but that I was attracted and interested in meeting. Then told her she could shoot me a text if that appealed to her and if not good luck. So she texts me last night. So I get back to her today, exchange a few texts and ask when she's free to get together. She says "Good question. I'll have to see if I can make some time". I told her to drop me a line when her schedule was more definite. "OK will do" she says. Yeah right..LOL Obvious blow off and she wanted a texting buddy. But she is the one who reached out to me knowing my only interest was in meeting. 1
Author Popsicle Posted May 30, 2015 Author Posted May 30, 2015 Could be that he wants to have back up options on the hook just in case. But yeah chatting is lame. I met this woman on OKC the other day. Said she wanted to keep chatting on the site. I said that I had enjoyed getting to know her so far, but that I was attracted and interested in meeting. Then told her she could shoot me a text if that appealed to her and if not good luck. So she texts me last night. So I get back to her today, exchange a few texts and ask when she's free to get together. She says "Good question. I'll have to see if I can make some time". I told her to drop me a line when her schedule was more definite. "OK will do" she says. Yeah right..LOL Obvious blow off and she wanted a texting buddy. But she is the one who reached out to me knowing my only interest was in meeting. He either wants back up options or a chat buddy, neither of which interest me. Mostly because he's already taken. I'd probably chat if he were single and verifyably local though, which he is local but not single. But, yeah, it may seem like people deliberately do the exact thing that you tell them that you don't like, and I used to think this, but then I realized that they just like you and want to be around you and that is their foremost thought. They aren't paying any attention to what you have said.
caringsister Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 I think I just got my answer. I told him that I was looking for a relationship, and that he was seeing someone already. He responded "Yes, I am. Have you tried Tinder I had better luck with that". Still don't get why he wants to chat.... Maybe he's a grass is greener kind of guy 1
Author Popsicle Posted June 4, 2015 Author Posted June 4, 2015 Another one.... I got another one like this, said almost the exact same thing, that he likes to look and chat. I swear they are all taken (and want to cheat). Feeling pessimistic today.
smackie9 Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 Another one.... I got another one like this, said almost the exact same thing, that he likes to look and chat. I swear they are all taken (and want to cheat). Feeling pessimistic today. If they are making the experience unpleasant for you, then turn it on them and make it unpleasant for them. Just leave a to the point comment, or a snide one to get your message across for wasting your time. 1
preraph Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 He's trying to discourage anyone wanting a serious relationship, but he'd be happy to bang you. 1
Author Popsicle Posted June 4, 2015 Author Posted June 4, 2015 I guess they're bored in their R. (Not that I care)
MissBee Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 (edited) So, I reached out to a guy on a dating site. He responds and then I asked him if he had met anyone yet. He says yes but that he goes on the dating site from time to time just to chat with people. I'm not a big chatter, so at that point, I lost interest, wished him luck and thought that would be the end. He then asks if I have been on any dates from the dating site yet. I responded that I had only been on one and haven't met anyone else yet. He then asks me if I'm looking for someone to marry or to date and if I was interested in chatting outside of the website. The guy is seeing someone already so what does he want with me? If he wants to be friends, why? Give me the scoop please and tell me how I'm supposed to handle this. What do you mean how you're supposed to handle it? You're not into chatting, he's with someone and still on the site looking to chat (isn't this a red flag)... So what else is there? Just say no thanks and move on. This is some stranger you've never met, I don't see the quandary really to be honest. Edited June 4, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1
fred123 Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 This is very hypocritical cos women do this all time and im sure OP has too. Whats wrong with being friends? Cos thats exactly what you girls say to us when we say no. Why cant you chat to him even if he is taken? That means you are only talking to him if he is single. Whats wrong in being friends? 1
Gary S Posted June 4, 2015 Posted June 4, 2015 So don't answer him and/or delete his messages. Good dating includes being efficient. Don't let people waist your time. 2
Author Popsicle Posted June 5, 2015 Author Posted June 5, 2015 This is very hypocritical cos women do this all time and im sure OP has too. Whats wrong with being friends? Cos thats exactly what you girls say to us when we say no. Why cant you chat to him even if he is taken? That means you are only talking to him if he is single. Whats wrong in being friends? I don't do this. I used to when I was younger and before I learned not to. Honestly, I'm not feeling a natural pull towards being friends with any of these taken men.
Recommended Posts