Orije Posted May 30, 2015 Posted May 30, 2015 Hello Loveshack, I just have this little scenario and I didn't know if I was in the wrong or not. Today and yesterday my girlfriend has been replying with short responses and texting slow like a text every hour or 2. I've been trying to flirt and be playful with her and her responses shoot it down or it seems like she wasn't paying attention. She texts me a bit later saying sorry that she is addicted to twitter and has been talking to celebrities. I made a playful joke saying why talk to them, aren't I a celebrity to you? She asked why would I be? I got upset because she chose to talk to these celebrities over twitter all this time than her boyfriend who is trying and I pay attention to her. I sent a text saying sorry. Im still upset. Should I say anything to her about it, am I being childish and or should I just ignore it? We've been together for 2 months she is 18 and I'm 20. Please and thank you!
TaraMaiden2 Posted May 30, 2015 Posted May 30, 2015 Please don't take this the wrong way, but you're both still children. She especially, isn't "fully cooked" yet. She's barely out of being a minor, and she's just having fun. She's a kid, and you just have a mildly bruised ego, but remember : you are competing against famous people she will in all likelihood never meet. Let it go. Really, it's not that big a deal. If she lets things like this turn her head, then maybe you need someone more mature and attentive. But you too, need to not sweat the small stuff... 3
Lois_Griffin Posted May 30, 2015 Posted May 30, 2015 What's that you say? Yet another socially stunted person under 35 years old who has no clue how to interact with people in REAL life because her life revolves around the surgically implanted telephone in her hand? Welcome to your generation, Orije. Expect a lot more of this nonsense when you're out together with her, when you're having dinner together, when you're walking in the mall, driving in the car, and when you're sitting on the couch watching a movie. I think it would be comical to take the phones from all these misfits and watch them stumble around, not having any idea how to socially interact with others. That'd be entertaining as hell. TaraMaiden was dead on. You're still kids and unfortunately, it's how it's always going to be. Til she's at least 40 or so. Sorry. 4
smackie9 Posted May 30, 2015 Posted May 30, 2015 Dude how would you like it if she had a fit because you were too busy playing B-ball with some buddies and couldn't answers her texts right away? She's busy doing something she thinks is important. It's not all about you. Just make an agreement, if she is busy with a tweet sesh, and or you are busy on the xbox, that you both say you are busy and that you will get back to later.....set a time, and go off and do you own thing. 2
Torii Posted May 30, 2015 Posted May 30, 2015 If she's more interested in speaking with those "celebrities" than her own boyfriend, that I'm sure cares about her, she has to get her priorities straightened out before she can comprehend the serious relationship like you think you got. You've been dating for two months. I say slow it down. Get to know each other a bit more, and if she isn't putting in the effort she did when you first got together, time to move on. 1
smackie9 Posted May 30, 2015 Posted May 30, 2015 I disagree. You shouldn't have to drop everything you are doing just because the BF/GF wants to flirt with you. What keeps a relationship healthy is space and time to do your own thing. Focus spending your time together in person not via over text. Texting does not a relationship make. 3
Author Orije Posted May 30, 2015 Author Posted May 30, 2015 Thank you very much everyone for the replies! I believe I was being childish about getting mad over something like that. Texting is our main and easiest way for communication. She is usually with family so we can't talk on the phone as often. When I call her, she doesn't call back or say she missed it. I usually ask if we can talk when she is free. Am I unreasonable to get a little mad that she is not replying at all and writing short sentences to my texts? The past few days I've been showing affection in my texts and when I do call her, but I don't get the same in return. When I asked what she is up to she changes the subject or doesn't reply. I don't know I guess I'm ranting now to get this off my mind. We will talk on the phone later tonight and is it wrong to bring any of this up to her? Or am I being childish? Some advice would be helpful thank you
Author Orije Posted May 31, 2015 Author Posted May 31, 2015 No this isn't a long distance relationship. We get to see each other about once a week and i drive about 30 minutes to her house to be with her.
smackie9 Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 Once a week isn't enough to sustain the romance in a relationship.Physical contact is crucial to keep the emotional connection. Texting might be ok for the first month or so but you can't keep doing it if you want this to last. She's starting to lose interest. The young ones have a short attention span.
Author Orije Posted May 31, 2015 Author Posted May 31, 2015 I asked her what she was doing almost 3 hours ago and she told me she was watching a movie with her mom and she will call me soon. All i responded with was "Okay". She asked if i was alright and then went on to apologize about the way she has been acting. She didn't want me getting mad or upset. She said she didn't want to talk to anyone, but didn't not want to talk to me. I explained that i was being selfish and dumb because of the way i was acting and apologized. I was onest about being irked by the only talking to twitter celebs, but ill man up and get over it. Also i told her i will respect that she needs her space to do what she wants. I told her i don't play mind games that im more honest. I just felt like something was wrong and i wanted to make her feel better or fix the problem.
Gary S Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 If you see here once a week, what do you need to talk to her for? Talk is cheap. Talk to your friends instead. Don't make the woman your whole universe. 3
smackie9 Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 I asked her what she was doing almost 3 hours ago and she told me she was watching a movie with her mom and she will call me soon. All i responded with was "Okay". She asked if i was alright and then went on to apologize about the way she has been acting. She didn't want me getting mad or upset. She said she didn't want to talk to anyone, but didn't not want to talk to me. I explained that i was being selfish and dumb because of the way i was acting and apologized. I was onest about being irked by the only talking to twitter celebs, but ill man up and get over it. Also i told her i will respect that she needs her space to do what she wants. I told her i don't play mind games that im more honest. I just felt like something was wrong and i wanted to make her feel better or fix the problem. Stop being a doormat. You don't need to apologize to her. But what you need to do is stop projecting your feelings though one word answers. When you go see her, talk to her then about your concerns. Get explanations not apologies, really talk it out. Ask her if this relationship is worth continuing or does she want to break because changes in her behavior is telling you something. She doesn't want to answer your texts because she doesn't want to. 3 hours before she answers your text is ridiculous. She had to get up to eat or go to the bathroom sometime, then she would be able to answer your text. AND why didn't she just tell you she's gonna go watch a movie with her mom for a few hours. IMO an 18 year old girl would never miss a text. Hell they take the damn phone with them to the bathroom. To me actions speak volumes......she is not finding you a priority, she has lost interest in you....which really doesn't surprise me. I dumped guys that didn't have time for me when I was a teenager....once a week didn't cut it. Two months and she is acting like this? I believe this relationship has run it's course.
Author Orije Posted June 1, 2015 Author Posted June 1, 2015 Thank you very much for your responses everyone! Today I spent time with her. I did get mad at her. We had sex and were cuddling. Her phone was going off and it was her twitter. I didn't mind it at all, but when I went to look over she hid her phone. I asked why and what's wrong. She said she didn't want me to know about it. She doesn't like people knowing about her twitter accounts. She has a personal, fan page for one direction and this last one she wouldn't tell me. I got super pissed because I hate having secrets and things being hidden. She said she didn't want me making fun of her because of what she posts. I told her I wouldn't. She kept refusing, u got so mad I began to cry. She said she isn't doing anything bad and wouldn't hurt me. I believe her its just I have an insecurity when it comes to hiding things. We talked about it and she said I can look, but I told her that's her business and I'll respect that as long as nothing shady is going on. We kissed and are currently cuddling as I write this. She is asleep though.
hollycraze Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 woah, mistake! First, being mad at something like this makes she thinks you're childish! Second, saying sorry to her for something like this just do the same... Let's say she just gave you sh*t test (women often do this)...you need to stay cool! Don't be needy or desperate by thinking, "why she chats with celebrities instead of me?!?" You need to enhance your characters, Matey! Send me message if you want to know!
Author Orije Posted June 1, 2015 Author Posted June 1, 2015 I'm not too sure how to send a private message. Yes i know i acted like a complete fool by doing what i did. She told me afterwards that it was alright and i didn't need to apologize for getting angry at her. She has been texting and snapchatting me like she normally does, so everything seems okay. Is it a good idea to sit myself down for a few days and work through my insecurities? So this doesn't happen again because this is by far the best relationship yet and she is a wonderful partner. Should i create a little distance through text like take a bit longer to reply to texts? I usually respond as soon as i get them and should i be more manly and outgoing when im with her, so i dont look like a too soft guy.
veggirl Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 JFC she has 3 twitter accounts? And one that is a secret? What's that one used for?
darkmoon Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 those celebs have staff to do that stuff - she/you think it is really them?
Author Orije Posted June 1, 2015 Author Posted June 1, 2015 I am not sure what that account is used for. Probably as a fan page for a band or something else. I asked questions like is it about you, are you posing as someone else, and so on so I can gauge what account it is. She said its not bad. She didn't want me to know cause I might make fun of what she posts cause I'm the type to joke around. Also I'm not into the twitter world so I wouldn't understand. She did say I could look when she was on it, but I chose not to because I felt like I pressured her to show me. I don't have a bad feeling about it and I trust her. She isn't a cheater she is just self conscious about certain thIngs. I seen her fan page account. She talks to other girls about the bands and puts updates about them. I guess when a person gets followers they get addicted to gaining more? I know there is a lot of fan pages everywhere
smackie9 Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 You only need to make changes accordingly, through communication with her. You talked to her, and she changed her behavior.....that's how to keep a relationship healthy. If you start acting differently, things can go sideways on you....this is just like playing games, something that everyone can live without.
Author Orije Posted June 2, 2015 Author Posted June 2, 2015 (edited) Thank you for your thoughts! So an update on everything. It all seems to be fine as I'm getting to know her more I see that little things can annoy her. I was texting her yesterday asking what time will i be able to come over? 45 minutes went by so i sent a text saying Babe? She was snapchatting me so i asked her to reply to my text. She sent me a text saying "I replied". I told her i didn't get her text and said can she resend what she said cause its probably my phone acting up? I tried to call her instead of waiting for the text. she said "No i just did you said to reply to my text so i said i replied." I was confused and told her what time can i come over then said why are you being a smarta** lol? She got mad and call me a dick. I got there and wanted to talk about it that i wasn't being a smartass. She wasn't looking at me and was watching tv, so i put my hand on her cheek to turn her face to me so we can talk and i seen her roll her eyes. I asked about that and she denied saying nothing was wrong. I did notice that wen we were together i showed her some of my texts and my friends name who is a girl was there. The girl who i was texting is married and asked if im busy today which i replied no. I guess when my girlfriend had my phone she tried to look up who she was on facebook because i didn't look up these people with the same name as my friend. Did she get jealous or suspicious? Later in the day as we were cuddling she apologized for how she acted and said she got annoyed by her school work and by me. She apologized a few other times during the night. I didn't let that bother me. Today I got home from work and was on Youtube so i looked her up after awhile and seen she had an account. I told her i seen it and she kept asking Why i looked it up and Why this and that. I told her i thought her videos were cute and everything else. She seemed upset because her texts got shorter becoming "ooh". Asked if something was wrong and she said she was tired. On her youtube I seen one of her twitter accounts and seen it was a fanpage for different bands, saw her tweets and thought noting of it. I also seen from her tweets that times she said that she was sleeping that she was awake. It shows she was awake at 6am through 8am posting on days before, yet didn't text me until 10am to say goodmorning. I don't know what to say right now... Edited June 2, 2015 by Orije
Author Orije Posted June 3, 2015 Author Posted June 3, 2015 Am i being childish about it? I guess thats her business since it is a popular page so she has to keep it updated, but she could have told me. I'm finding things out that she hasn't brought up yet. I'm ranting to get these off my mind, but she i move on from this being im not thinking straight? any advice guys? thank you
Author Orije Posted June 7, 2015 Author Posted June 7, 2015 (edited) Update on everything! Hello everyone, I hope you ave been doing well. Things between me and my girlfriend have been going great. She has been stressed because she is graduating high school so we had our lil fights because she was stressed and angry, but always apologized. Today though something did happen and I would like feedback. We went to an amusement park with her older brother and his girlfriend. As usual I'm always kissing and hugging her because I like to be affectionate and she'll hold me and kiss me back. She has me hold her phone the whole time. I went to the bathroom to use the toilet and her phone went off, i checked it to see who it was and it was some guy from her school asking to hang out. I didn't care because I'm fine with her having friends of the opposite sex and hanging out. I went through her pictures because she takes lots of screenshots from my snapchat and her friends. One thing stuck out...the dating app we met on, Jaumo, was screenshotted and i sat there like why is this here? She had it screenshotted a month back and i confronted her about it, she said she screenshotted that when she first got it and deleted it. I confronted her this time by showing it to her and she sighed. I asked nicely why is that there and she got all angry at me and it threw me off. I told her I'm not mad, but i want a reason why that was there? There shouldn't be a reason for her to be mad unless she had something to hide? She told her she didn't know how that was screenshotted and why it was there. I trust her so i believed her. Things were tense the first hour then she became all lovey dovey hugging me and kissing me and being all over. While I was trapped in my thoughts with a slightly broken heart. I did check her phone and the app wasn't there. She asked what was wrong later that night and i told her how i do my best to be a great boyfriend for her and i didn't know why that app was screensotted. We had a tough week and then to see that made it worse. She said she isn't the type to cheat and i should know that. I told her if she isn't happy or doesn't like me she can be honest and has the right to leave because i don't like my heart being played with. The rest of the night was good and she was still all over me. Should i be more cautious? I do trust her words 100%. Thank you Edited June 7, 2015 by Orije
Author Orije Posted June 7, 2015 Author Posted June 7, 2015 Just to add information i just found out. The guy that texted her asking to hang out was removed off her friends list on facebook. I tried to look up his account to see wat the guy looked like again and couldn't find a trace. So i was blocked or he deactivated his profile. I found it weird and also everyone knows we are in a relationship yet now she puts it out on her facebook that we're in a relationship. It was hidden before, but now its shown. Weird. So I'm going to be honest and ask about it tomorrow.
umirano Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 Too much drama. Ditch her. She's fake and irritable. Sure signs of a potentially cheating narcicisst.
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