katiegrl Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 It's "how" he went about it... **He flaked and she had to call/text him to death to get him to respond*** . And, then, even though he's almost a century old referred to her HSV as "the situation". WTF is that? Say, I'm afraid I might get it...etc. "the situation" doesn't explain what his concerns/fears/etc were about the HSV. Call/text him to death? Exaggerate much? But again, if you think he's a dick....that is your prerogative. I am a bit more forgiving...because some people get uncomfortable discussing such things, especially when they are ignorant about the subject as he apparently is. But that is just me.
katiegrl Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 I was the very first woman he was meeting online. He was really worried and nervous. He asked to meet in a park he could not handle sitting in a coffee shop face to face. Then he told me if he gets to the park and he doesn't like me right away he won't be able to stay and pretend for an hour, if he doesn't like my looks or my vibe he will tell me nicely and he will leave. Well I am over confident so I went lol. But that alone should have told me he's got problems , and cannot manage, uncomfortable situations. Heck yah! ................
katiegrl Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 Call/text him to death? Exaggerate much? But again, if you think he's a dick....that is your prerogative. I am a bit more forgiving...because some people get uncomfortable discussing such things, especially when they are ignorant about the subject as he apparently is. But that is just me. ^^To add -- remember, he DID call yesterday to discuss..it was Gaeta who was not available to talk.... who knows how he interpreted that. Just sayin...
Art_Critic Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 I am a bit more forgiving...because some people get uncomfortable discussing such things He didn't ask for forgiveness so there is no reason to forgive him for anything.. in the end he blamed her and her "situation" rather than owning up he felt he didn't want to date her, the guy could use some self introspection IMO on how not to disrespect a person you are getting to know. I get that you feel he did no wrong other than being ignorant.. well... him being ignorant puts him on the wrong side of the "situation" if you ask me. 1
katiegrl Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 ***He didn't ask for forgiveness so there is no reason to forgive him for anything*** in the end he blamed her and her "situation" rather than owning up he felt he didn't want to date her, the guy could use some self introspection IMO on how not to disrespect a person you are getting to know. I get that you feel he did no wrong other than being ignorant.. well... him being ignorant puts him on the wrong side of the "situation" if you ask me. Quote in asterisk above.....I realize that..but that doesn't mean I still can't forgive his ignorance, insensitivity, stupidity, etc. in my heart, does it? I mean, assuming it were me experiencing this. Personally, I would rather forgive his ignorance, etc (in my heart) rather than think he is a dick....because the latter is a toxic and negative emotion, and I prefer to let such emotions go...accept that he is isn't perfect, has flaws, could have handled it better.... wish him well and move on. Again, just me.
Art_Critic Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 Personally, I would rather forgive his ignorance, etc rather than think he is a dick....because the latter is a toxic and negative emotion, and I prefer to let such emotions go...accept that he is isn't perfect, has flaws, could have handled it better.... wish him well and move on. Again, just me. In hindsight that is easy to say.. but when she was going thru those emotions hindsight wasn't available, if you forgive someone for every miss step and find a reason it is okay for them to treat you that way then IMO you then become a doormat... In the end after she contacted him for the finality they parted on good terms.. but that doesn't mean he wasn't a dick to her. I don't believe that calling him an assclown is toxic.. it is what he was... thanks for the post sparring..
katiegrl Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 In hindsight that is easy to say.. but when she was going thru those emotions hindsight wasn't available, if you forgive someone for every miss step and find a reason it is okay for them to treat you that way then IMO you then become a doormat... In the end after she contacted him for the finality they parted on good terms.. but that doesn't mean he wasn't a dick to her. I don't believe that calling him an assclown is toxic.. it is what he was... thanks for the post sparring.. AC...forgiving (in my heart) does NOT mean excusing the behavior and allowing them to continue treating me badly, insensitively or whatevs. Where did "that" come from? When someone treats me poorly, insensitively, disrespectfully...I walk away! Permanently. But that still does not mean I can't ultimately *forgive* the behavior! I don't forgive them for THEM....I forgive them for ME..because *I* don't like harboring such negative emotions. Maybe that doesn't make sense to you.... which is okay. I do realize it's a somewhat difficult concept to grasp...but it serves to keep me from becoming bitter about people and situations that don't go my way...
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