writergal Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 Gaeta this guy is sending you red flag after red flag with his behavior. Please, please throw this old fish back. He's not a good catch. Anyone can see that. 4
lana-banana Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 - where did you get those numbers, I thought it was more like 12%? Between 50-75% of unmarried women over 45 have HSV2. About 25% of women have HSV2. Any unmarried man over 40 ought to be aware if not outright expect it.
Gary S Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 Those are for specific groups. It says 17% across the board in the U.S.
Author Gaeta Posted May 31, 2015 Author Posted May 31, 2015 What about those "positive" dating sites, are they any good? Almost no one from my city on there. I hate that site, it's like an underground sex trade. Lots of Americans offering me to pay my ticket to go have sex with them. Disgusting. Dating on regular sites is not a problem for me. Look how many men I talked about on here and this is my first issue with hsv. 1
lana-banana Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 Those are for specific groups. It says 17% across the board in the U.S. "Across the board" includes infants and children---generally not populations most people think of dating. 50-75% of women over 45 have it, and about 1 in 5 women age 25 and up have it. It's incredibly common. Any man over 40 who thinks he shouldn't have to worry about HSV2 is not paying attention.
Author Gaeta Posted May 31, 2015 Author Posted May 31, 2015 Thanks guys, I got my pictures back up on my profile and I am going through my messages. Katie you are right, I think I am gonna burn the bridge myself. 5
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 I wouldn't turn a girl I liked away because of HSV2. As long as she doesn't have the damn sores when i'm banging her, it's of no bother to me. 2
Gary S Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 (edited) "Across the board" includes infants and children---generally not populations most people think of dating. . - you have a point there. "Any man over 40 who thinks he shouldn't have to worry about HSV2 is not paying attention. - the higher the risk, I think the less you need to worry about it.... if the numbers are high enough, you will probably get it anyway unless you decide to become a monk. Geata, may I ask when you tell these guys you date? Just curious. Edited May 31, 2015 by Gary S
Author Gaeta Posted May 31, 2015 Author Posted May 31, 2015 Geata, may I ask when you tell these guys you date? Just curious. Usually on date 3 but I have told earlier when the heat is on.
Leigh 87 Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 one who falls in love at first sight will fall out of love just as quickly Lust at first site she was referring to.... People have instant connections and chemistry and end up together all the time.
Leigh 87 Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 Agree with you dyna, my bf and I fell in "love"...or lust or infatuation ....and we are still together...5 plus yrs. And that's all I want. Yet people on here tell me that falling I instant list or infatuation is " too Disney". For me to expect to fall in instant and mutual lust.... I don't think the fact he came on strong was a red flag... He didn't initiates sex or act too fast.... The fact that had that instant connection doesnt mean he's less likely to stick around... I think alpha male was speaking of the men who go all out and initiate early sex and go over the top...... 1
Gary S Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 When two people meet, they can come in with varying degrees of attraction... they might have a moderate level of attraction, or it could be very high. The only thing that matters if there is enough attraction to keep them together for a few months until they do fall in love. So, love at first sight is really just a high level of initial attraction, it's not true love yet. And I don't think people need to look for that high level initially. Being interested enough in them to kiss and want to see them again is a good start. 2
Rejected Rosebud Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 And I don't think people need to look for that high level initially. Being interested enough in them to kiss and want to see them again is a good start. I know! I can't understand why it's more crucial to want to tear each other's clothes off at first sight rather than in a month. I guess I'm just too cold blooded! Srsly, if you are interested enough to keep seeing them who knows what will happen. When the chemistry is just absent then sorry next!!:bunny: 2
Author Gaeta Posted May 31, 2015 Author Posted May 31, 2015 Gaeta, did he EVER call you back?!?! Nope! He did not call back or acknowledge my text. How difficult can it be to send a short text saying sorry it's not something I want to deal with. Also, when we met he kept saying he was tired of meeting immature woman. Maybe he should look at his own maturity level. 4
umirano Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 Sorry about that... Time to block and move on! I second that. The arrogance some people think is acceptable is staggering. You'll look desperate if you let yourself be treated like this, OP. 1
JJCaliGirl Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 I was hoping he would rise above and things would work out. You're better off finding out his level of maturity and ability to handle issues now than sometime in the distant future. You deserve better! Next! 2
jen1447 Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 Nope! He did not call back or acknowledge my text. How difficult can it be to send a short text saying sorry it's not something I want to deal with. Also, when we met he kept saying he was tired of meeting immature woman. Maybe he should look at his own maturity level. Wow, what a dick. Or maybe he's just a child emotionally. I could understand the needing to think, but running and hiding like that is a straight up coward's way out. Hate to say it but it's probably another bullet dodged Gaeta. Sucks when the bullets look really cool at first tho. 3
introverted1 Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 Is it possible he didn't get your text? I find the sequence of events odd. He called you that morning but you couldn't talk and said you'd let him know when you were available. Then you never heard back. Yes, he could be flaking out but is it also possible he's home wondering why you never got back to him? Geez, why is dating so freakin' complicated?
katiegrl Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 Gaeta...in following the sequence, you called him after your mountain walk, he was working on his brakes and said he would call you later. Hours later he still had not called, so a couple of posters (including me) suggested instead of waiting around YOU text HIM telling him YOU are moving on. Is that what you did? Is that what your text said, that YOU were choosing to move on? If so, did that text even warrant a response back from him? I gather you only had a couple of dates? Notwithstanding the fact the guy has got issues with your hsv status, choosing not to respond to a text from you telling him you are moving on does not a douchebag make. Not a huge deal in the grand scheme of things, you had only known him two weeks if that. Next.
xxoo Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 Nope! He did not call back or acknowledge my text. How difficult can it be to send a short text saying sorry it's not something I want to deal with. Also, when we met he kept saying he was tired of meeting immature woman. Maybe he should look at his own maturity level. This is why you've got to take with a grain of salt whatever a person says in the first few weeks. He's tired of meeting immature women, he has "finally" met a "real" woman in you, blah blah blah. It's not a red flag necessarily, but an internal we'll see how you feel in a couple of months thing. Chances are, he's lost in his fantasy and there is no basis in reality for his feelings. And yes, it's immaturity. 3
katiegrl Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 (edited) Frankly, I am a shocked by all this drama over a guy you have only known for two weeks. So the guy is uncomfortable dating a chick with hsv. After only a couple of dates, no sex , no intimate involvement, big freaking deal. All these insinuations (not just from gaeta) about the guy being a dick, immature, arrogant, blocking him, etc, wtf. Totally uncalled for IMO. Also not getting why you stopped being active on the site, not opening email, taking down photos....all over a guy you had a couple of dates with in less than two weeks. I don't get it.....but that's on you. Edited May 31, 2015 by katiegrl 2
blueskyday Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 We all know Gaeta is a wonderful person to date! I do think that he should be able to have some time to deal with the info, say a week. But, he should be communicative (even if just to say he needs more time) and he isn't being that. That is a problem in and of itself that shouldn't be tolerated. It only gets worse! He would back away and go silent at any conflict. So, next! Maybe consider taking things slow with a guy physically so the conversation happens a bit later, say a month in (or whenever the passion moves up to sex). I'm just thinking that if you had a bond with the guy first, he would be more open to working through it with you. Of course, if the whole sexual conversation about your past comes up earlier, then you must disclose. Personally, I'm prone to bail in the beginning at the slightest thing. Later, when I know I could get serious about the person, I am more open. As long as they haven't misrepresented themselves, that is. As long as you tell someone before you have sex, then I think you are being ethical. But this guy, nope. He's an avoider. Move on 1
Author Gaeta Posted May 31, 2015 Author Posted May 31, 2015 The sequence of events: Noon: he calls and asks me if I have plans for the day. I tell him I am leaving in 15 minutes for a climb. I ask about him and he answers not much just gonna change his breaks in the afternoon. He then says to let him know when I get back and we can talk more. I said ok I will text you when I am back home. 18h00: I text him I am home and he can call when he's free. Nothing back from him by text or phone. It's possible he didn't get my text these things happen. I stopped going online because I lost interest for other men as simple as that. There's no drama, it just sucks. My friend thinks I shut him down when he called and he was ready to talk. I should have put my plans on hold and give him time. I'm not sure about that.
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