writergal Posted May 30, 2015 Posted May 30, 2015 If it wasn't HSV, it would be something else that made him pull back. People who get that excited that soon are looking at a fantasy version of the other person, and usually are disenchanted when a bit of reality sets in. +1,000 likes for your post xxoo. I agree. People who turn on the charm and get physical that quickly with a complete stranger they just met, only want a fantasy version of the other person. But they bail as soon as reality sets in because they only want things to go their way. They don't want a real relationship that requires reciprocation or requires them to respect the other person for what their own needs and wants are.
alphamale Posted May 30, 2015 Posted May 30, 2015 Two weeks ago I met a man and we instantly felt in like with each other. We met in a waterfront park and 30 minutes later we're rolling in the grass kissing and laughing. That type of instant connection. one who falls in love at first sight will fall out of love just as quickly 1
Poppygoodwill Posted May 30, 2015 Posted May 30, 2015 So you climbed the mountain and then called him...and then what happened!? We're dying to know. I hope he doesn't/didn't disappoint.
Author Gaeta Posted May 30, 2015 Author Posted May 30, 2015 So you climbed the mountain and then called him...and then what happened!? We're dying to know. I hope he doesn't/didn't disappoint. No lol, I am just coming back from the mountain, I'm completely drained it's like 104F out there. My phone is dead I'm waiting for it to charge a little and I will call him back.
Author Gaeta Posted May 30, 2015 Author Posted May 30, 2015 You really have to stop rolling in the grass with men you don't know OP. I'm starting to think it's you, that there is something in you that pulls them in and pushes them away. Rather than the other way round. Have you thought about that? I'm not sure how I am pushing him away. It was innocent lip kissing under the sun in a public park. It was light and fun.
Author Gaeta Posted May 30, 2015 Author Posted May 30, 2015 If it wasn't HSV, it would be something else that made him pull back. People who get that excited that soon are looking at a fantasy version of the other person, and usually are disenchanted when a bit of reality sets in. It was not one of those big sparks and then people spend their every minute with each other, not at all. We liked each other instantly but we had normal time together, he never came to my home, I never went to his, we didn't have sex, we did not even have a make out. We like what we felt when we're together, lots of eye gazing and smiling.
Author Gaeta Posted May 30, 2015 Author Posted May 30, 2015 I have a question for you though: Would you date him without having sex for 2-3 months to see if the other elements of a great relationship are there? Yes I would date him without having sex but no more than 2 months. We can learn a lot about each other in 2 months as we don't have small children and we have all our time to ourselves. I don't want to invest 3 months + emotions in someone and then at the end he can't deal with it or we're not sexually compatible. 2
katiegrl Posted May 30, 2015 Posted May 30, 2015 About half of all unmarried women ages 45-55 have HSV2. Yes, half. This is a completely different situation than two young and clueless kids. I hope this guy did some research and realized he's got a pretty good chance of encountering this same issue with other women---and those women likely don't even know they're infected. Meanwhile Gaeta knows and was responsible enough to tell him. Good on you. Hmmm.....I read today (internet) it was 20%. But you could be right. Not that it matters cause if he can't get past the stigma and misconceptions that are floating out there on the internet....one of which is that hsv-2 carriers are sexually promiscuous.... he is not gonna want to move forward with her.
Author Gaeta Posted May 30, 2015 Author Posted May 30, 2015 About half of all unmarried women ages 45-55 have HSV2. Yes, half. This is a completely different situation than two young and clueless kids. I hope this guy did some research and realized he's got a pretty good chance of encountering this same issue with other women---and those women likely don't even know they're infected. Meanwhile Gaeta knows and was responsible enough to tell him. Good on you. I did tell him I just happen to know about it therefore I have no choice but to tell but 1 woman out of 4 carries it. He was surprised to hear that and I could swear he made a quick mental calculation of how many partners he had in his last 10 years of dating.
dyna85 Posted May 30, 2015 Posted May 30, 2015 one who falls in love at first sight will fall out of love just as quickly I actually can attest to this statement not being true. I would say that I fell for my college bf at first sight/meet and knew that something was there. I remember talking to my mom right after he introduced himself to me and acting all giddy and telling her he was something special. We dated for 1.5 yrs before parting ways, and though it wasn't meant to be, I still have love and care for him in my heart. 1
katiegrl Posted May 30, 2015 Posted May 30, 2015 Gaeta, I asked this in a previous post but how have your prevuios partners responded to the news? Jewelry guy? He must have been okay with it, right? I mean obviously he was okay with it.....
Author Gaeta Posted May 30, 2015 Author Posted May 30, 2015 Also, just curious but how have the other guys you have dated (had sex with) felt about it? I assume you told *jewelry guy* with whom you had sex the first night you met, so apparently it did not bother him, right? I have had mostly cool reactions to it. I didn't have sex with every man I told but in general their reactions were: Ok it's not a big deal, or that's nothing. One of my ex-boyfriend said: Are you telling me this to get rid of me cause that ain't gonna work. Jewelry guy was sex on 2nd night and I told him on second night and he said: so?
katiegrl Posted May 30, 2015 Posted May 30, 2015 I actually can attest to this statement not being true. I would say that I fell for my college bf at first sight/meet and knew that something was there. I remember talking to my mom right after he introduced himself to me and acting all giddy and telling her he was something special. We dated for 1.5 yrs before parting ways, and though it wasn't meant to be, I still have love and care for him in my heart. Agree with you dyna, my bf and I fell in "love"...or lust or infatuation ....and we are still together...5 plus yrs. 2
katiegrl Posted May 30, 2015 Posted May 30, 2015 I have had mostly cool reactions to it. I didn't have sex with every man I told but in general their reactions were: Ok it's not a big deal, or that's nothing. One of my ex-boyfriend said: Are you telling me this to get rid of me cause that ain't gonna work. Jewelry guy was sex on 2nd night and I told him on second night and he said: so? Excellent! So when you gonna call him?
Author Gaeta Posted May 30, 2015 Author Posted May 30, 2015 Excellent! So when you gonna call him? I've just let him know I was back home and he could call when he's free. He told me he was changing his breaks this afternoon so I'll let him call back.
alphamale Posted May 30, 2015 Posted May 30, 2015 I actually can attest to this statement not being true. I would say that I fell for my college bf at first sight/meet and knew that something was there. I remember talking to my mom right after he introduced himself to me and acting all giddy and telling her he was something special. We dated for 1.5 yrs before parting ways, and though it wasn't meant to be, I still have love and care for him in my heart. 18 months isn't long
bentleychic Posted May 30, 2015 Posted May 30, 2015 I agree. I fell for my current guy quickly, it's been just shy of 3 years since we've been a couple and I love him to distraction, more than I even did initially! I actually can attest to this statement not being true. I would say that I fell for my college bf at first sight/meet and knew that something was there. I remember talking to my mom right after he introduced himself to me and acting all giddy and telling her he was something special. We dated for 1.5 yrs before parting ways, and though it wasn't meant to be, I still have love and care for him in my heart.
h0000 Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 i wouldn't date a man who has herpes...it would be a straight no to me. so i actually think this guy probably really liked you and that's why he took so long to think about it.
bentleychic Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 i wouldn't date a man who has herpes...it would be a straight no to me. so i actually think this guy probably really liked you and that's why he took so long to think about it. I agree and I'll be honest that I wouldn't even have had to think about it. You may have been dealing with it for years and are okay with it, but it's not something that I would choose if given the choice.
Author Gaeta Posted May 31, 2015 Author Posted May 31, 2015 This is NOT about if he should date me or not. This is about him getting off the pot and tell me he doesn't wish to pursue like the big boy he is. If Thursday night he had the gut to say: Sorry this is too much for me. I would not be spending this beautiful summer Saturday night waiting on his call. I have about 2 dozen unopened messages online, I would be on a date right now. I texted him 3 hours ago and nothing. 1
Art_Critic Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 Why is the decision his to make.. make it right now.. IMO you are putting yourself down by chasing after a man who is treating you this way after you were open and vulnerable to him.. 3
Shining One Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 I would not be spending this beautiful summer Saturday night waiting on his call. I have about 2 dozen unopened messages online, I would be on a date right now.Why aren't you on a date? You have only known him two weeks and you're not yet exclusive. You are choosing to sit and home waiting for his answer rather than meeting other prospects. 2
Author Gaeta Posted May 31, 2015 Author Posted May 31, 2015 Why is the decision his to make.. make it right now.. IMO you are putting yourself down by chasing after a man who is treating you this way after you were open and vulnerable to him.. That's quite right what you're saying. 1
Gary S Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 I did tell him I just happen to know about it therefore I have no choice but to tell but 1 woman out of 4 carries it. He was surprised to hear that and I could swear he made a quick mental calculation of how many partners he had in his last 10 years of dating. - where did you get those numbers, I thought it was more like 12%? I have to say this, but he's probably gone. He's not going to catch anything by dating you, people don't have to have sex right away when date... but he's not dating you. People vote with their feet. What about those "positive" dating sites, are they any good? It might not be an issue for someone who already has it (unless there are a million different strains). But if 1 in 4 people have it? It probably is not a big deal, the risk is so high anyway, I would not worry about it. One thing is for sure anyway... no one is getting out of life alive.
katiegrl Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 Why aren't you on a date? You have only known him two weeks and you're not yet exclusive. You are choosing to sit and home waiting for his answer rather than meeting other prospects. Completely agree with this. It's not HIS fault that YOU are choosing to anxiously await his call/decision instead reading the two dozen messages in your in box. You have known him less than two weeks for pete's sake, why are you putting your life on hold for a man who, in all likelihood, does NOT want to move forward...otherwise when he called earlier he would have expressed interest in seeing you tonight! Duh. Instead of a lame "will call you later after I install the brakes on car." If it were me, at this point I would text him and tell him YOU have thought about it and decided YOU don't wish to move forward with him. Be pleasant, wish him well and move on. And go read your messages! Your Mr. Right could be in one of those messages! A man who has no problem with hsv-2 AND if he did has the balls to tell you! 3
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