andrew0102 Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 I've been dating this girl for around a month or so and she's been the first priority of my life for all this time. (First time dating.. I'm 15 male) Unfortunately I found out too late that it isn't a good idea to be too "clingy" and too available", and now I think she's starting to lose interest in me. We meet up several times a week and date once or twice a week, which I only found out was too excessive on-line, because apparently being too available you lose value to her, as you are easier to obtain whenever she wants. I also constantly maintained contact, as we exchange texts and have conversations multiple times during the day. Now she doesn't text me back as fast as she used to, and she makes excuses to not see me. This has been a very sudden change, as only 3 days ago we were very close. I feel like I rushed things too quickly, and I've learnt my mistake. I love her so much and I really don't want to lose her. Is there anything I can do to reverse the damage that I have done and get here back? Should I give her space for a few days, have a "talk" with her or should I just gradually lessen how clingy and available I am? I'm willing to change my mistakes, and I will try to become more involved with my own life instead of always talking and spending time with her, but I still love her and want to be her boyfriend. Anyone with advice would be appreciated.. thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
joseb Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 First things first Andrew, relax! You are 15, you have your whole life in front of you. You will meet tons of girls like this who you fall for just as much. Don't get 'oneitis' so young! With this in mind, perhaps you can naturally start to back off and not try to be in constant touch with her. Link to post Share on other sites
La.Primavera Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 apparently being too available you lose value to her, as you are easier to obtain whenever she wants. I also constantly maintained contact, as we exchange texts and have conversations multiple times during the day. That is the problem. Too much contact can be exhausting. It puts a huge amount of pressure on the other person to meet your needs, especially when you are still getting to know each other in the beginning of a relationship. It can be overwhelming when things become serious so quickly. People can sometimes lose themselves in a relationship. This can happen at any age but is particularly common for teenagers because love and infatuation feel so exciting and new. It is easy to be swept away by it and focus all your energy on it, forgetting about other aspects of your life that are important. It is all about balance. It sounds like you understand that you need to be more involved with your own life which is great. It take some people years to figure that out. Just give her some space and time to miss you. You will be fine. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 You are supposed to make mistakes when you are 15. that's how you learn & grow It may not be anything you did or didn't do. It could just be that 15 year old girls have the attention span of . . . well, 15 year old girls, which is to say that nothing can hold their interest for long. There is always a newer toy, a shiner thing, a hotter boy. Sorry. All you can do is be cool & dial it back. Do not be mean or even impolite to her but when she says jump you are not obligated to say how high? Have other things & other interests going on in your life. If you already have plans with your buddies, don't cancel them just because she crooks her little finger. As much as you don't want to hear this, even if you do lose her, you will survive. You will love again. You will also be stronger for this experience. Link to post Share on other sites
ZA Dater Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 I wouldn't say there are dating mistakes, you are who you are. Be that and maybe that should be enough. Link to post Share on other sites
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 Op just dial back your contact a bit on her, but don't flip a switch and go cold - she will be able to tell if you do. It's ok to keep some distance so you aren't smothering her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
rocketman122 Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 exactly. dial it back slowly. once a week say youre going to your friends house, then say youre on the rag and have a headache. oh thats her. oops. whatever, mix it up. she might get a bit pissed at first. bit do it slowly and shell adjust. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
hollycraze Posted June 1, 2015 Share Posted June 1, 2015 Hey, you're still so young! Don't feel desperate/sinful! You have so many times to learn! You just need to enjoy your time and passion...reject her sometimes...focus on yourself! I'm a Dating coach, just send me a message if you want to know more... Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted June 1, 2015 Share Posted June 1, 2015 I've been dating this girl for around a month or so and she's been the first priority of my life for all this time. (First time dating.. I'm 15 male) Unfortunately I found out too late that it isn't a good idea to be too "clingy" and too available", and now I think she's starting to lose interest in me. We meet up several times a week and date once or twice a week, which I only found out was too excessive on-line, because apparently being too available you lose value to her, as you are easier to obtain whenever she wants. I also constantly maintained contact, as we exchange texts and have conversations multiple times during the day. Now she doesn't text me back as fast as she used to, and she makes excuses to not see me. This has been a very sudden change, as only 3 days ago we were very close. I feel like I rushed things too quickly, and I've learnt my mistake. I love her so much and I really don't want to lose her. Is there anything I can do to reverse the damage that I have done and get here back? Should I give her space for a few days, have a "talk" with her or should I just gradually lessen how clingy and available I am? I'm willing to change my mistakes, and I will try to become more involved with my own life instead of always talking and spending time with her, but I still love her and want to be her boyfriend. Anyone with advice would be appreciated.. thanks! The only way to recover from mistakes is to stop making them. If you've been clingy or needy, back off. If she likes you enough and realizes the change, she'll reach out to you. It's not guaranteed, but it is the best way for it to happen. Link to post Share on other sites
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