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I need a favor from my Ex... bad idea?

SoulflowerChloe

By SoulflowerChloe
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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SoulflowerChloe Member

SoulflowerChloe

Posted
Posted (edited)

Hello everyone.

 

I walked away from my ex whom I had been associated with for almost 6 years, two months ago after he didn't want a relationship. I have been in nc since then. It has been difficult but I am progressing.

 

Outside of that aspect of my life, I am in a very tight space in my life with money. I will be starting 3 jobs soon which all require that I purchase non-slip shoes. I really cant afford them right now. My ex works at a shoe store and receives a hefty discount. I am tempted to ask if I could use his discount, but I really don't want to come off as using him. Im just trying to be as resourceful as I can. I have no family support and I have exhausted my other friends.

 

I know that there are chances that he:

 

  • will not respond
  • will say no

 

 

What should I do?

Edited by SoulflowerChloe
lauri Established Member

lauri

Posted
Posted
Hello everyone.

 

I walked away from my ex whom I had been associated with for almost 6 years, two months ago after he didn't want a relationship. I have been in nc since then. It has been difficult but I am progressing.

 

Outside of that aspect of my life, I am in a very tight space in my life with money. I will be starting 3 jobs soon which all require that I purchase non-slip shoes. I really cant afford them right now. My ex works at a shoe store and receives a hefty discount. I am tempted to ask if I could use his discount, but I really don't want to come off as using him. Im just trying to be as resourceful as I can. I have no family support and I have exhausted my other friends.

 

I know that there are chances that he:

 

  • will not respond
  • will say no

 

 

What should I do?

 

How about you don't bother buying the shoes from there and not contact him? That sounds like the best option. I'm sure you could find a fairly non expensive option elsewhere.

 

By the way, you are using him if you contact him for that.

  • Like 2
CarrieT Established Member

CarrieT

Posted
Posted

Nope, nope, nope...

 

Don't go there.

 

Start with the Goodwill or Salvation Army. You can find some non-slip shoes for $5.00 or $10.00 that will suffice until you get a paycheck or two under your belt.

  • Like 5
Simon Phoenix Established Member

Simon Phoenix

Posted
Posted

Find other means. That's a lame reason to break No Contact. Sell some stuff, save some money, go with the shoes you have until you can afford the ones you want. Or use a credit card and pay it off when you have the cash.

 

This is really convuluted reason to break No Contact and it's definitely using him.

  • Like 1
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SoulflowerChloe Member

SoulflowerChloe

Posted
  • Author
Posted
How about you don't bother buying the shoes from there and not contact him? That sounds like the best option. I'm sure you could find a fairly non expensive option elsewhere.

 

By the way, you are using him if you contact him for that.

 

 

The place he works is an extremely inexpensive shoe store. But I'll figure it out. You are right.

ColdandLonelyinAK Established Member

ColdandLonelyinAK

Posted
Posted

He may get an ego stroke if you break NC to talk to him about this, and may not even answer altogether. I wouldn't do it.

  • Author
SoulflowerChloe Member

SoulflowerChloe

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Nope, nope, nope...

 

Don't go there.

 

Start with the Goodwill or Salvation Army. You can find some non-slip shoes for $5.00 or $10.00 that will suffice until you get a paycheck or two under your belt.

 

 

Thank you for the suggestion, I didnt even think of the thrift store.

minime13 Established Member

minime13

Posted
Posted
Hello everyone.

 

I walked away from my ex whom I had been associated with for almost 6 years, two months ago after he didn't want a relationship. I have been in nc since then. It has been difficult but I am progressing.

 

Outside of that aspect of my life, I am in a very tight space in my life with money. I will be starting 3 jobs soon which all require that I purchase non-slip shoes. I really cant afford them right now. My ex works at a shoe store and receives a hefty discount. I am tempted to ask if I could use his discount, but I really don't want to come off as using him. Im just trying to be as resourceful as I can. I have no family support and I have exhausted my other friends.

 

I know that there are chances that he:

 

  • will not respond
  • will say no

 

 

What should I do?

 

You don't need a favor from your ex. You have found an opportunity to try to make legitimate contact with him.

 

Find some cheap shoes that will work until you can afford better ones. Don't think of your ex as a life line for anything, anymore.

  • Like 2
kasop Established Member

kasop

Posted
Posted

You are setting yourself up. You have come this far why break nc over a pair of shoes. Thats ridiculous.

MissBee Established Member

MissBee

Posted
Posted
Nope, nope, nope...

 

Don't go there.

 

Start with the Goodwill or Salvation Army. You can find some non-slip shoes for $5.00 or $10.00 that will suffice until you get a paycheck or two under your belt.

 

I agree.

 

I would absolutely NOT ask my ex to do this for me, especially if we haven't spoken in two months.

 

Try the Goodwill or another second hand or thrift store as CarrieT suggested. You're bound to find something there for cheap without needing to resort to asking your ex.

SLee Established Member

SLee

Posted
Posted

My ex also works at a place where I can get free tickets to stuff. In the relationship it was great and super convenient. After the break up he told me I could still ask him for tickets and that it'd be no problem. I made the mistake of asking him once and went. It was HORRIBLY awkward and I refused to make that mistake ever again.

 

He also was a really tech savvy guy so I could always ask him if I had a technology problem. Is it a pain in the butt now that I have to go to different people or to the tech place at my university? YES, especially after years of not having to do that. But it's really for the best.

 

My point is, in the long run, this is not a huge inconvenience to your life. It's not a life or death situation where he is the only person out of 7 billion to help you out. Someday, you won't even remember this.

 

I would suggest checking out eBay (decent and NEW shoes for cheap, I do it all the time) or local thrift stores, as others have suggested.

erklat Established Member

erklat

Posted
Posted

Terrible idea. Like really really bad.

  • Like 1
still_an_Angel Established Member

still_an_Angel

Posted
Posted

I'd rather go without than asking an ex for a favour.

He will not be my hero for a pair of shoes, there are other ways.

  • Like 1
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