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Don't want to come off as clingy.


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Posted

I've been casually seeing a guy from work and I just had a family member die. We spent the day together yesterday and he really just his presence helped keep my mind off of everything and I wouldn't mind hanging out with him some more to just keep me occupied because I feel really comfortable with him.

 

We were talking about sexual partners last night and discussed that we're casual (sort of) as in the conversation was 30 seconds long and I said something about oh like causal like you and I, or something or other. So that's been discussed. I like being with him and I like all the benefits of having the relationship without the title. We're in a good spot. I'm not seeing anyone else and I'm pretty positive he isn't either but I'm not ready for anything serious at this very moment and I don't think he is either.

 

Anyways, is seeing him twice a week too much? I'm diggin what we got going down right now and I don't want to scare him away but at the same time I've had a pretty stressful week and hes a good distraction.

 

He said something about how he doesn't have much going on right now and I said how he's too available as a joke but I don't know if that was him hinting he was cool spending time with me or what?

Posted

If he said he has time available, it probably means he wants you to invite him for something more often or that he would like to spend some more time with you. Also, 2 days a week isn't much at all. Sounds like you guys are doing great, just keep on going!

Posted

1: First of all, you have my condolences for the loss of your family member. That's 'vulnerable emotions' right there.

 

2: Never, ever EVER date anyone in your workplace.

The times it goes wrong, against the times it goes right, are wildly disproportionate and weigh heavily towards the former.

 

Suffice to say that the No Contact Guide was originally written by a guy who worked alongside his ex.....

 

Dating in the workplace is a recipe for disaster, whichever way you look at it.

If he's your same-level colleague, working with him post break-up would be very difficult.

 

If he's your superior, you'd have to change job, or location.

If he's your inferior he would have a tricky time of it too.

 

Workplaces are the ideal locations for gossip and tittle-tattle to run rife and unchecked.

No matter how discreet you try to be, the truth will out, and the truth will rapidly turn to inaccurate, unsubstantiated and hi-speed Chinese whispers, which no matter what damage-limitation exercises you implement, will never be either corrected or stopped.

 

Friendship is fine. Taking it up a notch will end in tears.

Posted
I've been casually seeing a guy from work and I just had a family member die. We spent the day together yesterday and he really just his presence helped keep my mind off of everything and I wouldn't mind hanging out with him some more to just keep me occupied because I feel really comfortable with him.

 

We were talking about sexual partners last night and discussed that we're casual (sort of) as in the conversation was 30 seconds long and I said something about oh like causal like you and I, or something or other. So that's been discussed. I like being with him and I like all the benefits of having the relationship without the title. We're in a good spot. I'm not seeing anyone else and I'm pretty positive he isn't either but I'm not ready for anything serious at this very moment and I don't think he is either.

 

Anyways, is seeing him twice a week too much? I'm diggin what we got going down right now and I don't want to scare him away but at the same time I've had a pretty stressful week and hes a good distraction.

 

He said something about how he doesn't have much going on right now and I said how he's too available as a joke but I don't know if that was him hinting he was cool spending time with me or what?

 

 

How long have you been seeing him? In the very early stages, it's not a good idea to spend too much time together. But, given what he said in the last paragraph you could say something like "I'm enjoying the time we spend together and I am comfortable with you. I'd like it if we could spend a couple of nights per week together." And, then let him talk.

Posted

Please accept my condolences on your family member's passing

 

In the immediate aftermath of the death of a loved one everybody even the strongest people need a little extra TLC. Don't worry if you are a bit more emotional. Try to spread it out - him & others but know in time your emotions will settle down.

 

If he can't be understand during your period of mourning he's not a nice person.

Posted
Please accept my condolences on your family member's passing

 

In the immediate aftermath of the death of a loved one everybody even the strongest people need a little extra TLC. Don't worry if you are a bit more emotional. Try to spread it out - him & others but know in time your emotions will settle down.

 

If he can't be understand during your period of mourning he's not a nice person.

 

If it's very early in the dating scenario, she should not be seeking comfort for those kinds of things yet really. He should express concern but he doesn't have to be there for her to lean on yet.

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Posted

erm; I dont know if you'd call it dating. It's very casual.. I guess we've been"seeing eachother" for 2 months.

 

I don't know, usually we go out but I wouldn't mind inviting him over just to have someone to be with me and watch movies or whatever. I don't like being alone in times of stress is all and he helps me keep my mind off of it. I don't want to vent to him or anything, I just find him to be a good distraction.

Posted
erm; I dont know if you'd call it dating. It's very casual.. I guess we've been"seeing eachother" for 2 months.

 

I don't know, usually we go out but I wouldn't mind inviting him over just to have someone to be with me and watch movies or whatever. I don't like being alone in times of stress is all and he helps me keep my mind off of it. I don't want to vent to him or anything, I just find him to be a good distraction.

 

Well, do you want or hope that this will become more? If so, doing this will put pressure on it. If you both are content with being buddies and you're clear about just wanting a distraction and he's OK with that, invite him over. He's a big boy, if he doesn't really want that, he can and should say so.

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