MightyQuinn Posted May 29, 2015 Posted May 29, 2015 Or perhaps more impatiently? I dunno, mostly I just need a place to funnel a bit of my anxiety over this guy I've been dating for about two months. We both started falling pretty hard and fast for each other at first, then it kinda freaked both of us out and we slowed things down considerably. We also both had some things going on in our lives anyway that helped with putting on the brakes. Even so, we still have made time to see each other 1-2 times a week, text every day, talk on the phone probably 2-3 times a week, too (it's all been about 50/50 as far as who calls/texts/initiates a date first, too - actually, due to his work schedule, I've left it to him to initiate many of the dates, and he hasn't let me down). All in all, things have been going quite well. Intellectual, emotional connection, ridiculous physical chemistry (though have kept it kinda PG13 - have been trying to really see if we're compatible on a mental level, as long as the chemistry is there, the physical can be learned ). Now things have calmed down for me and I'm ready to kick things up a notch, but his work schedule has gotten ridiculous and it seems like a bad time to try to really initiate much more. They're short-staffed at his work from people quitting and transferring, and others have been going on vacation or just plain calling in sick. He's been filling in odd shifts, including overnights, putting in crazy overtime, and last week worked 24 hours in a 48 hour time period. Two huge projects he's helping on won't be done for another week or two. The man is busy! And I understand that, I don't want to complicate things for him right now. His position is changing in 2 weeks, though, so his responsibilities will be very different and his work won't be able to rely on him as much for all these random assignments. I am trying sooo hard to be patient! It's only 2-3 more weeks, but it's been a long time since I felt like this about anyone, and I don't want to push or pry. I was out of the dating world for a long time and when I found him, I wasn't really looking for a relationship, but we've just had such an amazing connection, there's no way I could stroll past without checking out what could be there. And there's so much there... The feeling seems to be mutual on his part, he seems just as curious about me as I am about him. I dunno what I expect from this forum, mostly I just felt a need to vent someplace that isn't my best friend's ear. She's heard enough! She's also going through a rough dating patch and hearing how happy and lovesick I am has got to be kinda grating. Got any tips for being patient with moving a relationship forward? Any recommendations for what NOT to do? I've been keeping myself busy, I have other things to keep me occupied, other people to spend time with. I just feel like a teenager with a crush, my mind wanders to him all the time! It's amazingly exhilarating and a tad scarey, like a roller coaster - and I love it!
smackie9 Posted May 29, 2015 Posted May 29, 2015 Stop letting this be your whole world and find other things to do and think about. What keeps you in check is to have a life outside the relationship. Take that GF of yours that is having a rough time and go have fun. Go shopping, hang out with friends, have a party, go to the beach, whatever.......keep busy! 1
Author MightyQuinn Posted May 29, 2015 Author Posted May 29, 2015 Thanks, I'm already trying to keep pretty busy... I have two jobs, do volunteer work, exercise daily and hang out with friends a couple times a week. Maybe I should pick up a new hobby or buy a video game to keep me busy - LOL! 1
SmartDude Posted May 29, 2015 Posted May 29, 2015 I would say to just appreciate what you have right now. It could all go away tommorow, remember that. Enjoy the person you are with while you are with them. 1
CarrieT Posted May 29, 2015 Posted May 29, 2015 Is it this guy? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/separation-divorce/504602-last-straw-i-m-giving-up-10.html#post6330211 If so, you are moving too fast emotionally.... Calm down! You've got all the time in the world!
Author MightyQuinn Posted May 29, 2015 Author Posted May 29, 2015 (edited) I would say to just appreciate what you have right now. It could all go away tommorow, remember that. Enjoy the person you are with while you are with them. I do and I have been. I understand and accept it could end tomorrow, he could totally not feel the same way. Enjoying the good feelings while they're there. Is it this guy? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/separation-divorce/504602-last-straw-i-m-giving-up-10.html#post6330211 If so, you are moving too fast emotionally.... Calm down! You've got all the time in the world! I understand the concern, but I'm OK, really. I am so happy with my life, with or without him, and accept that this relationship could end. I'm enjoying the rush right now, but I do have these random "girly" bursts of "OMG, I hope he likes me as much as I like him". That's hilarious and amazing to me, it's been forever since I've felt that way I know from experience that I'll be OK if it all ends, too. If we part ways, it wasn't meant to be, and I'll remember the fun we've had. But I don't really have all the time in the world. I'm a 35 year old woman thinking about having kids. Guys can be dads at 80 if they want, but women don't have the luxury of time. I'm not saying I want to have the guy's babies - I don't know him well enough yet to have determined whether he'd be a good partner and parent - but if we're going to really get to know each other, gotta start taking down walls and letting down guards a bit more. What I've seen so far intrigues me, I want to learn more. Edited May 29, 2015 by MightyQuinn 1
Redhead14 Posted May 29, 2015 Posted May 29, 2015 Thanks, I'm already trying to keep pretty busy... I have two jobs, do volunteer work, exercise daily and hang out with friends a couple times a week. Maybe I should pick up a new hobby or buy a video game to keep me busy - LOL! Sometimes it helps to set aside a block of time each day, say 15 minutes to half and hour to "allow" yourself to think about him, things you'd like to do together when you do see him next (besides sex , etc. At the end of that period, you get on with other things as you've been doing. What happens is you've given yourself quality time to think about it. Instead of, being busy with something, having a thought of two come up and pushing it aside. It's kinda like getting it all in at once instead of dribs and drabs through the course of the day and having it in your face all day so to speak.
No Limit Posted May 29, 2015 Posted May 29, 2015 Glad to see you in this section of LS. Yeah, I think getting a hobby or two would be a good idea. Something you can do on the side and also easily can pause to get balance for the time he's doing slave labour at work and for the phase when you two can spend some more time together.
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