Rainbowgoo Posted May 29, 2015 Posted May 29, 2015 When I was 16/17, I had my first relationship with my boyfriend at the time who was 17/18. We met in college. The relationship lasted just over a year and we were both madly in love with each other. We were each other's first love as well as first everything. The relationship started to go downhill when he became too invested in his band and started going to church, which resulted in him not seeing me as much and I wasn't his priority anymore. This lead to me acting very jealous of the people he spent the most time with and he ended it with the reasoning that I had turned into a psycho. I was truly heartbroken, I couldn't eat or sleep and I still attended college and parties where I would see him and just burst into tears. One day, he phoned me, telling me how much he missed me and that he wanted to start meeting up with me to see how things would go. This lead to friends with benefits, it just made me worse off. He then phoned me to tell me he used me and that he didn't miss me etc. my reaction to this was very bad, I was devastated. I said some very horrible things to him, that bad that he's lost 3 stone in 2 months. We've left college now, but I still see posts of him all the time and I miss him so much. I don't think I'll ever be able to get over him. I would really appreciate some reassurance that I'll get over him eventually, because it's 8 months later and I still feel the same!
ColdandLonelyinAK Posted May 29, 2015 Posted May 29, 2015 Who phones someone to tell them they used them and don't miss them? That right there should tell you enough about the type of person he is and help you move on. 1
newmoon Posted May 29, 2015 Posted May 29, 2015 of course you'll get over him. heartbreak isn't forever. you'll get over him faster and with a better outlook and attitude for yourself if you quit looking up his posts and information. in order to move on you have to actually move on. that means meeting new men, going out, and not stalking your ex on social websites. just block his updates or whatever you need to do. take a single step forward. you've already waited too long and for nothing in return.
Torii Posted May 29, 2015 Posted May 29, 2015 Hi Rainbowgoo, The first relationship is never easy; so many new emotions that we don't know how to manage. Sometimes this leads to fantasies, and if the relationship didn't go how we expected it to go - we'll be forever left with a negative or positive impact: the 'what if..' part of relationships that keep us wondering and wondering about what could have been. Know: what you need vs what you want. I think it's very important to keep in mind that what we need and what we want out of our relationships is an essential part of self exploration and couple bonding. Sometimes, we get so concerned about our partner (how we can please them), that we forget about ourselves and there needs to be a healthy balance for a relationship to function properly. Know how your needs for love, safety, respect, etc are being met in the relationship before you get too concerned about the wellbeing of your partner. Getting your heart broken for the first time seriously sucks and hurts like hell. We've all been there, and some of us continue to feel the string of our first romance. It's a normal and natural part of being human.
SLee Posted May 29, 2015 Posted May 29, 2015 You will get over him. Focussing on your life and building the future you want is key. Meet new and interesting people, not even as romantic partners, but even just making contact or making new friends shows you there is a big world outside of this one person. And him using you is a total jacka** move an tells you right there that this is NOT someone you want to be with EVER.
Haerts Posted May 29, 2015 Posted May 29, 2015 Your first step is to block him on everything. He's already showed what kind of guy he is. If he truly loved you, he would always have time for you, wouldn't call you a psycho or even worse, call you just to have sex and then say he doesn't miss you and used you. That's so ****ing immature, what an *******. Get out of it girl, he's NOT the one for you!
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