YOGPIN Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 Guys I am soooo confused. Will try and make this short. 1.So I have been courting/dating this girl for about 3 months now. We are both in college doing the same degree. 2. At one point exactly a month ago this girl seemed really really into me. She missed me so badly if we did not see each other for a couple of days. 3. About 2 weeks ago Exams finished and summer is here, so she was sticking around before she went home cause she is really involved in many activities, so she did not have much free time to see me. I was ok with that, plus she seemed extremely eager to see me and was complaining that i did not plan fast enough. But everything was good. She went on a church retreat and she did not have much access to wifi. I messaged her once or twice only because she told me she would be pretty busy. After the retreat she said she wished i had messaged her more, but we simply had a breakdown in communication. I thought that she did not have time for it, she wanted more messages. Even so, that was a small deal, cause it was over and we could spend time again. But after that I did not feel that same eagerness to see me. She has a week left before she goes and she only gave me one day to see her.. And once she goes home i won't see her for 3 months Her texts are really dry now and she seems uninterested Idk what the hell happend but i think she is going to break up with me soon... My question is... SHOULD I EXPLICTLY ASK HER ABOUT THE DISINTREST I AM GETTING FROM HER? IGNORE IT AND KEEP MESSSAGING HER LIKE NORMAL? (seems like waiting to be dumped) DUMP HER FIRST?
Redhead14 Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 Guys I am soooo confused. Will try and make this short. 1.So I have been courting/dating this girl for about 3 months now. We are both in college doing the same degree. 2. At one point exactly a month ago this girl seemed really really into me. She missed me so badly if we did not see each other for a couple of days. 3. About 2 weeks ago Exams finished and summer is here, so she was sticking around before she went home cause she is really involved in many activities, so she did not have much free time to see me. I was ok with that, plus she seemed extremely eager to see me and was complaining that i did not plan fast enough. But everything was good. She went on a church retreat and she did not have much access to wifi. I messaged her once or twice only because she told me she would be pretty busy. After the retreat she said she wished i had messaged her more, but we simply had a breakdown in communication. I thought that she did not have time for it, she wanted more messages. Even so, that was a small deal, cause it was over and we could spend time again. But after that I did not feel that same eagerness to see me. She has a week left before she goes and she only gave me one day to see her.. And once she goes home i won't see her for 3 months Her texts are really dry now and she seems uninterested Idk what the hell happend but i think she is going to break up with me soon... My question is... SHOULD I EXPLICTLY ASK HER ABOUT THE DISINTREST I AM GETTING FROM HER? IGNORE IT AND KEEP MESSSAGING HER LIKE NORMAL? (seems like waiting to be dumped) DUMP HER FIRST? Arrange to see her on the day she's offered and take it from there. She may be distracted and maybe a little sad herself because she is leaving. Message her as normal, wait for her response. If she isn't responding, you should just leave it alone. If she wants to end it, I hope she will be respectful to you and tell you that. But, she may simply let it drop because it's too difficult for her. You two are young and sometimes that's just easier. 1
Omei Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 So shes been clear that she wishes you would communicate a lot more her text's are prob dry from your lack of texting and as a result she thinks you may be the one less interested and is backing off my only suggestion is amp the communication. 2
Clarence_Boddicker Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 Are you a good texter? If not, work on improving those necessary modern day skills. Let her know that you are very interested in her & that you will do better at communication. 1
Author YOGPIN Posted May 29, 2015 Author Posted May 29, 2015 hey redhead, Yes I forgot to say that i already went on that date out with her on the day she arranged that was a couple days before i wrote this. Overall it went really well, beach day, made her laugh a lot, we enjoyed, (but towards the end she was ready to go earlier than i expected) Clarence and Omei , I just spent some time reading through our text history. I would say i'm a decent texter. Witty, playful, vary things up often, I really think i'm ok here. After analyzing the text conversation history, earlier it seemed like we put in pretty even effort... Now? It feels like I'm putting in 95% effort and she is putting in 51% Effort. i.e Just enough to be polite.. Nothing extra. No response once the convo needs a slight change in direction for revival... On the other hand i also realize that i mayyyyy be over analyzing things. Looking through the convo made me realize we have had pretty much good times only.. I don't get how this girl who told me she loves me could just not care anymore. SO i think i may be overeacting. Will keep monitoring. But if things continue on the same level they are on now. I'm going to end it with her! Cause I am uncomfortable, to me it feels like her answering my messages is a chore. And they are not dry.. I am confident in that
Redhead14 Posted May 29, 2015 Posted May 29, 2015 hey redhead, Yes I forgot to say that i already went on that date out with her on the day she arranged that was a couple days before i wrote this. Overall it went really well, beach day, made her laugh a lot, we enjoyed, (but towards the end she was ready to go earlier than i expected) Clarence and Omei , I just spent some time reading through our text history. I would say i'm a decent texter. Witty, playful, vary things up often, I really think i'm ok here. After analyzing the text conversation history, earlier it seemed like we put in pretty even effort... Now? It feels like I'm putting in 95% effort and she is putting in 51% Effort. i.e Just enough to be polite.. Nothing extra. No response once the convo needs a slight change in direction for revival... On the other hand i also realize that i mayyyyy be over analyzing things. Looking through the convo made me realize we have had pretty much good times only.. I don't get how this girl who told me she loves me could just not care anymore. SO i think i may be overeacting. Will keep monitoring. But if things continue on the same level they are on now. I'm going to end it with her! Cause I am uncomfortable, to me it feels like her answering my messages is a chore. And they are not dry.. I am confident in that Well, you just have to always keep in mind that at any point in a new dating scenario where one party has seen enough or maybe identifies something new about that person that puts them off in some way. Not that there's anything wrong with that person, it's just something that doesn't work for them. They may not even be able to put a finger on it at the time but it causes them to start to lose interest and it really maybe gradually. It just seems sudden. They may be really into you for a bit and they are caught up in that 'high" for a while and then they get to the point I mentioned above. Have you never dated someone you thought you were really interested in and then kinda backed off from or lost interest in?
fawnlawn Posted May 29, 2015 Posted May 29, 2015 I think that maybe she is just really busy, and maybe she's feeling unsure of things because - despite not having access to communication - she might have been expecting something. Like messages checking up on her, waiting for when she would receive them. Or something random. Whatever you guys talk about. I think Redhead14 makes some good points with pointing out that "high" feeling. My advice, as a girl who has found myself in situations where I'm busy and also nervous, would be to continue as you have been, but maybe text her to see how her day is going, wish her good morning/night, stuff like that. See her on the day she has planned, and maybe bring up trying to see each other over summer! Now I don't think you should confront her about her "disinterest" as that comes off negative, but it couldn't hurt to see where she stands in her "interest" with you - this way if it's going to end in a break-up it could perhaps be a mutual thing that ends in a friendship instead of a competition to see who can beat the other to the punch.
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