lehcar Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 I was dating someone for a short time, but from the moment we met things just clicked. We'd see each other at least three times a week from the second week in, we were texting all the time, etc. the texting all the time and the seeing each other so much was all initiated by him. I suggested one day his apartment could use some plants and the next day he went out and bought a ton. We had plans for all these fun activities to do in the future and then out of nowhere he just ended it. I went over to his house Sunday night to celebrate him finishing his thesis and we had a great night watching a movie and just being together. Then his friend calls mad at him for something he didn't do. Claiming that he knew that her boyfriend was going to dump her and didn't say anything to her about it. He seemed agitated after that call and spent the rest of the time we were watching the movie texting with people. Then after we went to bed and he said he was too tired to have sex but would be in a better mood in the morning and we'd have fun together then. Morning comes and he wakes up super early and takes a shower gets dressed and then tells me he wants to run some errands. I asked what was wrong and he said he just woke up in a bad mood and was sorry but that he'd see me soon. So I leave and don't hear anything from him all day. The next day I text him at noon to see if he's feeling better and at 1am he texts me to say he's not emotionally capable of being present for me in a relationship now and he meant to tell me yesterday but couldn't and that he was sorry but would still like to be friends. How could he go from being seemingly so into me to cutting everything off so suddenly and without warning? I really liked him and thought he was so into me. I don't want things to be over..
DexterLS Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 Weird. Maybe it has something to do with the friend. I don't want to make any assumptions but you have to respect his decision and give him the space he needs. That's all you can do.
Author lehcar Posted May 28, 2015 Author Posted May 28, 2015 The mature part of me knows that I can't contact him or do anything... But the emotional part of me wants to understand why he ended things since it doesn't make sense to me and wants to try to get back together. I do not like the emotional part of me
joseb Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 My guess is that this female friend of his was either an ex or someone he fancied, and he wanted to console her (hook up) over her breakup. But it's just a guess. 2
kasop Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 He has something to hide. Let him hide it and move on. 2
Author lehcar Posted May 29, 2015 Author Posted May 29, 2015 Thanks Kasop. You're probably right... I'm gonna try to stop caring about this. I hope he wasn't hoping to have sex with this girl since he described her and her boyfriend as his two best friends. Would be a weird thing to do with your best friends ex but whatever... That's their problem 1
mightycpa Posted May 29, 2015 Posted May 29, 2015 Sounds like his girlfriend got back into town a lot earlier than he expected.
Author lehcar Posted May 29, 2015 Author Posted May 29, 2015 So the reason must be he met someone better than me or he was waiting for someone better than me? That makes me feel way worse
foolinlove79 Posted May 29, 2015 Posted May 29, 2015 My ex bf has broken up with me many times. I think he just gets bored and also thinks of me as his plan b. Yep it doesnt feel good. Feels like crap really. In my case everytime it was for a different reason. Trust me when i tell you the 'reason' doesnt make you feel any better. Sometimes i think its better to not know acrually. Feel lucky you didnt waste years with the dick...like i did 3
sowhynot Posted May 29, 2015 Posted May 29, 2015 So the reason must be he met someone better than me or he was waiting for someone better than me? That makes me feel way worse No. Not 'better'. One of my exe's dumped a really good looking guy for me then dumped me for someone 18 years older who looked like he had one foot in the grave already and was just about to put the other one in as well. Plus he was already married with a couple of kids. No rhyme or reason to love - so please don't beat yourself up about someone else being 'better' ! 2
kasop Posted May 29, 2015 Posted May 29, 2015 My ex bf has broken up with me many times. I think he just gets bored and also thinks of me as his plan b. Yep it doesnt feel good. Feels like crap really. In my case everytime it was for a different reason. Trust me when i tell you the 'reason' doesnt make you feel any better. Sometimes i think its better to not know acrually. Feel lucky you didnt waste years with the dick...like i did I like that u brought this up.. it is better to not know. The less you know the better in my past experience. The goal is to move on.
kasop Posted May 29, 2015 Posted May 29, 2015 Thanks Kasop. You're probably right... I'm gonna try to stop caring about this. I hope he wasn't hoping to have sex with this girl since he described her and her boyfriend as his two best friends. Would be a weird thing to do with your best friends ex but whatever... That's their problem exactlly. Its not your problem anymore. Any hoping and wondering about his situation and life from here on out is prolonging you to move on. Delete his number and take him off social media. Take your own advice and stop caring about him. Use that energy to care about yourself. Its all about YOU now. I hope this advice helps. Good luck.
Redhead14 Posted May 29, 2015 Posted May 29, 2015 I was dating someone for a short time, but from the moment we met things just clicked. We'd see each other at least three times a week from the second week in, we were texting all the time, etc. the texting all the time and the seeing each other so much was all initiated by him. I suggested one day his apartment could use some plants and the next day he went out and bought a ton. We had plans for all these fun activities to do in the future and then out of nowhere he just ended it. I went over to his house Sunday night to celebrate him finishing his thesis and we had a great night watching a movie and just being together. Then his friend calls mad at him for something he didn't do. Claiming that he knew that her boyfriend was going to dump her and didn't say anything to her about it. He seemed agitated after that call and spent the rest of the time we were watching the movie texting with people. Then after we went to bed and he said he was too tired to have sex but would be in a better mood in the morning and we'd have fun together then. Morning comes and he wakes up super early and takes a shower gets dressed and then tells me he wants to run some errands. I asked what was wrong and he said he just woke up in a bad mood and was sorry but that he'd see me soon. So I leave and don't hear anything from him all day. The next day I text him at noon to see if he's feeling better and at 1am he texts me to say he's not emotionally capable of being present for me in a relationship now and he meant to tell me yesterday but couldn't and that he was sorry but would still like to be friends. How could he go from being seemingly so into me to cutting everything off so suddenly and without warning? I really liked him and thought he was so into me. I don't want things to be over.. So basically, you are so deeply invested in a guy you've only know for a couple of weeks? This wasn't sudden. He wasn't as invested as you were and as much as you thought to begin with and he knew it. (Him going out and buying plants for his apartment isn't an indicator that he was invested in you. It just mean't that he thought your idea for plants was a good one). He may have sensed you becoming too attached too soon. Not only that, even though he was initiating meeting so many nights a week, it was too much. He probably was feeling smothered, even though he did it to himself maybe. Did you two ever have a casual conversation about what each of you was looking for out of your dating experiences? Did he say he was loooking for a relationship or something just casual? If it was just casual, he had enough of what he wanted in a short period of time.
Author lehcar Posted May 30, 2015 Author Posted May 30, 2015 Well it was short as in just a few months not weeks and he said he wanted a relationship, wanted to meet my family, etc. But anyway, thanks for letting me vent everyone. I'm not hurting over this anymore most likely due to all of your wonderful advice I feel much better, thank you. I think in the future I'm going to take things way slower so I don't risk investing in someone that's going to ghost out on me after a few months 1
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