Faith87 Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 (edited) Hello, i am divided and i would love to hear objective opinions to this: I am a german, but as my beloved (ex)boyfriend, living in UK, keeps saying that we Germans just think totally different, i ask in an english speaking Forum for advice. So please forgive me my mistakes, i am not an english native Speaker! Backround: He and me, we know each other since August last year. We immediatly thought we are soulmates, but because i am living in Germany and he is living in UK, we didnt want to give it a try... but then, at 29.1.15, we made each others love confessions. Yeah, its not that a long time, but i do love him more than everyone ever before (and believe me, this was my shortest relationship by far). We spend almost every day in Skype in every free Minute. The Problem: He broke up with me last friday, because i am too jealous. Yes, indeed, i am. But he knew that from the beginning, i told him, and he said he will make me trust him. Now a couple of things "happened", that were suspicious in my Point of view, and made me jealous and asking a lot. 1.He is active on Facebook. Fine with me - but he refused from the beginning on, to set his Status at least on "in a relationship". I didnt ask him for linking me tho... this alone is a Thing combined with the 2nd: 2. He only came here once, i was there a couple of times. Long Weekends (like wednesday / thursday - sunday) or a full week even. He never let me meet his friends, tho i asked for. Once we almost did, but then he suddenly felt really bad and we couldnt. So i, as i got cheated 3 times in a row (every ex boyfriend cheated on me at least once) , thought this is really weird and i honestly didnt want him to meet Girls then (because i couldnt know if anyone even knows about him having a girlfriend). 3. He literally was on whatsapp like 24/7. And yeah, i admitted already, i am a jealous Person, so i asked him who he is writing to, and also asked him who he was writing/chatting to earlier. He kept Saying its Football grp, who are writing all day and every day. I wasnt really satisfied with that, but okay. Well... but when i was at his place, they somehow didnt write at all! He only used Facebook and whatsapp when beeing locked at the toilett or at work. And he put flight mode on at night. Didnt dare to ask for flight mode, but for the toilett Thing he said "i have better things to do when youre around". 4. He said he would move to Germany start of next year... then i found (well i wanted to bring him his shoes and then he acted weird when noticing theres a letter next to the shoes so i took it) a letter, which basicly said that hes gonna buy a house over there. The hell? Okay, he said its financial safety and he could rent it when he moves to Germany. But: A whole house just for his own? (later i found out, he didnt tell me either, that hes planning to move together with his sister there instead of me). Why would he buy a house for just half a year? And even more.. why wouldnt he tell me? 5. He wanted to meet a (male) friend for a beer in a Pub. Smiling like an idiot all the time when reading Messages on whatsapp that day. Then he shaved fresh, took a shower when he stood up, came in front of the pc for Skype, 2 hours later, before he left, he took another shower again. Well.. maybe hes just really really really clean - but i only do such things before a date! All These things and him not beeing open to me, caused, that i really was annoying... i asked many questions like who hes out with/writing to and stuff. Question 1: From an objective Point of view, wouldnt you think all These things were suspicious somehow? Ofc they all could be explained and i might be just too jealous... but is this a reason to just break up? I asked him so many times to just be honest and open to me, then i wouldnt have to ask so much.... Current Situation: Right before we broke up, he signed in a gym (didnt tell me tho, because i said i wouldnt love the idea, but i never said i wouldnt accept that!), agreed immediatly to buy a house and made every preperation to move together with his sister. I, fighting for him every day, willed to Change for him, was completely at the ground. I even have to take anti-depressive pills which i never had before. Now, today, he said: Okay. I love you and i miss you so much. Maybe we can agree something: 1. dont check up on me , 2. No more asking who i am talking/chatting to , 3. no more 100% of my time in Skype , 4. i dont want to tell you everything, if theres something i want to tell you i will , 5. not much Skype when i am on holliday (he will fly on hollidays next week and i asked him to Skype in the evenings) , 6. accept me Meeting other Girls (as friends he says) - "this is the Minimum of expect to give it another go". So basicly, i am not allowed to ask anything anymore and i have to just accept whatever he does, whenever and with whoever. He lays out a set of rules, and if i am willed to follow, he thinks about giving it another try. Is that a relationship? Shall i give up on myself and try it for the man i love? Edited May 28, 2015 by Faith87
PegNosePete Posted May 29, 2015 Posted May 29, 2015 It seems that he is a lying douchebag. You need to get rid of him from your life. You deserve someone who will treat you with respect. 1
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