dangerbang Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 Hi all. So I just met a girl for a coffee date, we spent about an hour together then I had to go back to work. The conversation flowed and all seemed well, she's quite attractive too. I've been out of this game for a while so I really don't know where to go from here. She texted me about 15 minutes after the date to say "Hey forgot to thank you for the coffee!" and I just said "you're so ungrateful!" and she said something like "I know self righteous bitch". Anyway... I'd like to see her again. How does one go about asking someone nowadays? I know texting and modern dating can be a minefield of potential mistakes. I've gone on a few dates recently but this one I felt there may have been a mutual attraction, a good thing going on. Of course I could be completely wrong! Are there dos and donts for 2nd date asking etiquette etc? Please help a 34 year old novice who's virginity is growing back.
PegNosePete Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 I'd give her a call (not text) tonight and ask if she wants to do it again. It's nearly the weekend so maybe Sunday lunch in a nice village pub. If she says yes, have a 3-5 mile stroll planned for afterwards, which you can suggest if the 2nd date goes well. 1
lukekarts Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 What's your instinct telling you? I'm in a similar boat, with someone I met last night. We exchanged messages afterwards (she got home safely, thanked me for a lovely evening, I said I'd like to see her again). (see the first date - difficult to read? topic) I think that's the modern etiquette to message afterwards - and I can only assume (but I might be wrong) if your coffee date reached out then there's some kind of interest there. Then, the traditional etiquette is to follow up with a call. Deep down though we all have an insecurity that we've missed the signs and don't like being rejected. 1
Author dangerbang Posted May 28, 2015 Author Posted May 28, 2015 I'd give her a call (not text) tonight and ask if she wants to do it again. It's nearly the weekend so maybe Sunday lunch in a nice village pub. If she says yes, have a 3-5 mile stroll planned for afterwards, which you can suggest if the 2nd date goes well. My style in the past (I think) was to go out at night and get absolutely sh*tfaced and end up in one of our beds? Do people still do this?
Redhead14 Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 Hi all. So I just met a girl for a coffee date, we spent about an hour together then I had to go back to work. The conversation flowed and all seemed well, she's quite attractive too. I've been out of this game for a while so I really don't know where to go from here. She texted me about 15 minutes after the date to say "Hey forgot to thank you for the coffee!" and I just said "you're so ungrateful!" and she said something like "I know self righteous bitch". Anyway... I'd like to see her again. How does one go about asking someone nowadays? I know texting and modern dating can be a minefield of potential mistakes. I've gone on a few dates recently but this one I felt there may have been a mutual attraction, a good thing going on. Of course I could be completely wrong! Are there dos and donts for 2nd date asking etiquette etc? Please help a 34 year old novice who's virginity is growing back. You call her and ask her for a 1st date. You met her for coffee which is just a first "meeting". Now you invite her to dinner or some other fun activity.
PegNosePete Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 Do people still do this? Some people do, some people don't. It's a bit like asking if people prefer Coke or Pepsi. Depends what kind of relationship you're looking for, really. The kind that involves getting sh*tfaced and in one of your beds, or the kind that involves Sunday lunches and strolls in the park. 1
Author dangerbang Posted May 28, 2015 Author Posted May 28, 2015 Some people do, some people don't. It's a bit like asking if people prefer Coke or Pepsi. Depends what kind of relationship you're looking for, really. The kind that involves getting sh*tfaced and in one of your beds, or the kind that involves Sunday lunches and strolls in the park. Well I like both. No, I just think going for a few drinks is a good way of breaking the ice. I'm in no rush to sleep with anyone right now. Ok I'm not going to call her later, I'll text her, I personally am not comfortable with talking on the phone for a while after meeting someone. I'll keep you posted on progress (or lack of).
Vintage79 Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 Stop over thinking it! If she's really interested, it will be pretty hard to screw it up - call, text, e-mail, will all work if she's interested, none will work if she's not interested. I don't think the call is mandatory (although some women like it) - I would frequently get a yes to a second date via text and then call to finalize the plan. If you start with a text, plan on only 1, or maybe a couple, prior to the call - you don't really need a massive text chain. That said, as per my first point - if she's interested, it's pretty hard to screw up, so as long as you don't come across as creepy, you should be fine.
Author dangerbang Posted May 28, 2015 Author Posted May 28, 2015 Stop over thinking it! If she's really interested, it will be pretty hard to screw it up - call, text, e-mail, will all work if she's interested, none will work if she's not interested. I don't think the call is mandatory (although some women like it) - I would frequently get a yes to a second date via text and then call to finalize the plan. If you start with a text, plan on only 1, or maybe a couple, prior to the call - you don't really need a massive text chain. That said, as per my first point - if she's interested, it's pretty hard to screw up, so as long as you don't come across as creepy, you should be fine. Yeah, you're right on. When I think of previous girls I've gone out with, I could have said anything in follow up texts/calls etc and it was always going the right way. I'll text her later, if nothing comes of it then I'll leave it. You're right, no point over analysing. She did have awesome t*ts though...
Syberia Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 Tell her you'd love to see the self-righteous bitch again and ask her to do something with you this weekend
Author dangerbang Posted May 28, 2015 Author Posted May 28, 2015 Alright yeah I said something like hey do you want to have a drink or something before I eff off. I'm going to Spain for a week. So she wrote back a while ago and said I'm busy for the next 3 nights, when are you going away? So what do I do now - say how is Monday for you? It's a holiday here on Monday. F*ck it yeah what's the worst that can happen. I kind of need a bit of hand holding here as I'm out of the game so long I guess.
misspond Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 "I'm going away on *this date* so *this date* would be great for us to catch up before i go away." If she says, "aww, can't do that, how about when you get back?" give her the earliest possible date after you return - unless you're not bothered - and go from there.
Author dangerbang Posted May 28, 2015 Author Posted May 28, 2015 ok I said blah blah blah... ending with Monday is a bank hol so if you're free in the evening that works for me. Ball in her court now. I'd like to see her again but I'm not going to push it. Her loss. Sometimes it's really really hard being this good looking.
Syberia Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 Sometimes it's really really hard being this good looking. Lol 10characters
Author dangerbang Posted May 29, 2015 Author Posted May 29, 2015 Dammit. I texted her at 10pm last night saying how's monday for you etc? No response. The waiting game continues... I guess it's not happening though. Don't people reply right away if they're interested? Then again some people just aren't texty-phoney people.
Author dangerbang Posted May 29, 2015 Author Posted May 29, 2015 just as I wrote this she replied, oh yeah I forgot monday was a bank hol, that could work, i'll text you. Now to bide my time. I really like her though. Also today I was supposed to be getting married, there'll be an empty space at 3pm or so in the registry office near where I'm working now. Oh well.
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