malowie Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 Hey guys, really need your advice. I matched with this guy on a dating app a month ago and we have been texting everyday non-stop for a month. We live in two different cities in the country, 2 and a half hours apart. last weekend I was in his city and we met up for two dates. The first date was really nice, we walked around the city's parks and it was great getting to know him. He drove me home, and unexpectedly, he leant in to kiss me on as I left his car. He asked me to text him again if I was free so we could meet up again. I did and we met up the second time two days after. We went for dinner. We were very flirty and had really good conversations, and after dinner he drove to my potential workplace to show me where I would be working if I got the job. He then drove to somewhere remote and we made out and it was very intimate. During the entire time he had his hand on my lap and I felt that he did like me. I told him I liked him and he said he liked me too. After he sent me home I text him saying he's really kind and nice and that I hope to see him again. He replied saying that 'it was great to see me and hopefully we will meet again xx.' Since then I have not heard from him although he has been liking my posts on my facebook. So basically we have been texting every day and this has all come to a halt for three days. Am i overthinking? I don't know. I feel really uneasy as I feel as though something is very wrong with me for him to behave like this. At the same time, I don't want to message him again as I do not want to come across as needy. need your advice
Lansing Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 Was he the one initiating a lot of the recent texting? Maybe he decided to take a step back to see if you would pick up the slack and contact him... Otherwise, maybe he is thinking the distance isn't really practical for him and he is keeping things quiet/slow until you see about your new job/etc.
Toodaloo Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 Send a text. He is obviously still into you to keep going on your facebook all the time.
La.Primavera Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 It does sound like he is scaling back on the texting so it doesn't get serious. However, he hasn't shut the door completely. He is just keeping his options open as a single guy. Realistically he isn't going to choose a long distance relationship over a local one.
Redhead14 Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 Hey guys, really need your advice. I matched with this guy on a dating app a month ago and we have been texting everyday non-stop for a month. We live in two different cities in the country, 2 and a half hours apart. last weekend I was in his city and we met up for two dates. The first date was really nice, we walked around the city's parks and it was great getting to know him. He drove me home, and unexpectedly, he leant in to kiss me on as I left his car. He asked me to text him again if I was free so we could meet up again. I did and we met up the second time two days after. We went for dinner. We were very flirty and had really good conversations, and after dinner he drove to my potential workplace to show me where I would be working if I got the job. He then drove to somewhere remote and we made out and it was very intimate. During the entire time he had his hand on my lap and I felt that he did like me. I told him I liked him and he said he liked me too. After he sent me home I text him saying he's really kind and nice and that I hope to see him again. He replied saying that 'it was great to see me and hopefully we will meet again xx.' Since then I have not heard from him although he has been liking my posts on my facebook. So basically we have been texting every day and this has all come to a halt for three days. Am i overthinking? I don't know. I feel really uneasy as I feel as though something is very wrong with me for him to behave like this. At the same time, I don't want to message him again as I do not want to come across as needy. need your advice and after dinner he drove to my potential workplace to show me where I would be working if I got the job. -- What job? Is he involved in any way with you getting a job there? It is very unwise to reveal your workplace to someone you've only met twice. Food for thought. He then drove to somewhere remote and we made out and it was very intimate. -- You allowed yourself to be driven to a remote location with a virtual stranger? On a first or second date, I would have my own car or other form of transportation. Getting into a car with a stranger is not a safe practice. In addition, if the date didn't go well, you are stuck in the car with that person for a little while longer I would not reach out to him. In the very early stages of a new dating scenario, the woman should let the man do the initiating. His "job" is to initiate, her job is to reciprocate until his intentions are at least clearer. 1
Author malowie Posted May 28, 2015 Author Posted May 28, 2015 Was he the one initiating a lot of the recent texting? Maybe he decided to take a step back to see if you would pick up the slack and contact him... Otherwise, maybe he is thinking the distance isn't really practical for him and he is keeping things quiet/slow until you see about your new job/etc. Hey, Yes he was the one initiating most of the texting. I think you are right, he may be thinking that the distance isn't really practical for him. I think I just have to accept this. Thanks for your input =)
cessna Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 I would not reach out to him. In the very early stages of a new dating scenario, the woman should let the man do the initiating. His "job" is to initiate, her job is to reciprocate until his intentions are at least clearer. Why is it the mans job to do all the work? If you want to think like that then I reserve my right to tell you to stay in the kitchen sweetheart.
Redhead14 Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 Why is it the mans job to do all the work? If you want to think like that then I reserve my right to tell you to stay in the kitchen sweetheart. The man does not and should not do all the work. All he needs to to is get the ball rolling and the woman should reciprocate. His job is to get things started, it's her job to reciprocate. It's about balance.
Author malowie Posted May 28, 2015 Author Posted May 28, 2015 Send a text. He is obviously still into you to keep going on your facebook all the time. I sent him one asking how he is. He said he is okay, busy with work. I text him back saying hope he's okay, but he hasn't replied for like a day.
cessna Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 The man does not and should not do all the work. All he needs to to is get the ball rolling and the woman should reciprocate. His job is to get things started, it's her job to reciprocate. It's about balance. How is that about balance? Why can't the woman initiate for a change? I thought this was 2015 not 1950. If you really believe that then like I said you should no problem with me thinking you should stay at home in the kitchen while your man is at work.
Redhead14 Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 How is that about balance? Why can't the woman initiate for a change? I thought this was 2015 not 1950. If you really believe that then like I said you should no problem with me thinking you should stay at home in the kitchen while your man is at work. My man is often in the kitchen with me because he is a well-rounded and talented person who supports and respects his partner and respects the work she does to make sure his home is in order and comfortable for him when he comes home from work and because when we BOTH get home from work, we want to spend as much time together as we can. Just as I will mow the lawn, take the car for servicing, get repairs around the house done when he is unable to do that. Our life together is balanced and mutually supported.
cessna Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 My man is often in the kitchen with me because he is a well-rounded and talented person who supports and respects his partner and respects the work she does to make sure his home is in order and comfortable for him when he comes home from work and because when we BOTH get home from work, we want to spend as much time together as we can. Just as I will mow the lawn, take the car for servicing, get repairs around the house done when he is unable to do that. Our life together is balanced and mutually supported. But you wouldn't have initiated it with him because of some warped sense of thinking you have? You could have the perfect man right in front of you and out of some sort of weird principal you wouldn't talk to him because "that's his job"...
Redhead14 Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 But you wouldn't have initiated it with him because of some warped sense of thinking you have? You could have the perfect man right in front of you and out of some sort of weird principal you wouldn't talk to him because "that's his job"... You could have the perfect man right in front of you and out of some sort of weird principal you wouldn't talk to him because "that's his job"... No, not necessarily. In the scenario laid out above, she has some doubt now as to HIS sincerity and interest even though she's been clear about her interest in him. I did and do have the perfect man. However, I did not have any trouble talking with a man and giving him clear signals of interest, so he should not have any difficulty or hesitancy for initiating a date. If they don't, they don't get it or they weren't interested, so be it. I would let them know or give the green light for them to initiate if they were so inclined, but I wouldn't ask them. It was just MY approach and what I was comfortable with. It is not about a weird principal, it's just what I was comfortable with. And, if one is so hung up on gender roles, and the woman should stay in the kitchen, the man would have to come in there if he wants to be with her.
Redhead14 Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 Your way of thinking is truly ridiculous. Sorry you feel that way Cessna. Let's end the pissing contest. My dick is as big as yours Agree to disagree.
cessna Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 Well my dick is tiny so that's not a great comparison. 1
Redhead14 Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 Well my dick is tiny so that's not a great comparison. Let's not hijack this thread. If you want, we can start a penis envy thread
Recommended Posts