DexterLS Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 Ugh... so that blip yesterday really set me back a little. I'm not miserable, but she's on my mind alot more than she has been over the past week. Seeing her in that dress just knocked me back, perhaps she did it because I ignored 2 of her breadcrumbs last week. I deleted all of our mutual friends and her family from my facebook today... I haven't been able to delete her yet, although I am much less inclined to check her out now that I don't have her friends and families status updates on there. I know I should delete her and I'm prolonging my healing, but I just can't today This morning was genuinely a big step, as I removed a few decent friends who I've made over the last few months, but hey it needs to happen. Uhhh..... Wait what? She is still friends with you on Facebook? Are you serious?
DexterLS Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 To hell with it, deleted her..... Do not just delete her. Block her. I have around 20 people on my block at this time. People who have done nothing wrong to me but I know their updates will be detrimental to my process of moving on. Think about yourself for now. It is important that you heal fast and it's not going to happen if you can look her up anytime you want on Facebook. Block her now and restart your NC.
imbax Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 To hell with it, deleted her..... block her in case she tries to add you back
Author Yummm Posted June 8, 2015 Author Posted June 8, 2015 It's done, thank you for the kick up the @ss guys. I felt like I would have more self control as I didn't stalk her for almost 2 weeks. I knew she was looking at my profile aswell so I guess that's why I didn't get rid of her. Seeing her in my dress that she said she was never going to wear is what hurt, it was the right thing to do and it's done now. Restarting NC, I hope this set back isn't too long, I feel like **** now.
DexterLS Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 It's done, thank you for the kick up the @ss guys. I felt like I would have more self control as I didn't stalk her for almost 2 weeks. I knew she was looking at my profile aswell so I guess that's why I didn't get rid of her. Seeing her in my dress that she said she was never going to wear is what hurt, it was the right thing to do and it's done now. Restarting NC, I hope this set back isn't too long, I feel like **** now. You're welcome. Remember this feeling each time you feel like breaking NC.
Author Yummm Posted June 8, 2015 Author Posted June 8, 2015 Will do mate. This is so painful. I feel so bad yet know that a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I guess this is part of the acceptance isn't it.. 4 weeks post BU and i'm feeling worse than I have in a long time, is this normal?
imbax Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 Yes it is normal. I am at week 7 post break up and I am still in tears over her every day.
Author Yummm Posted June 8, 2015 Author Posted June 8, 2015 So after I delete & block her from Facebook today she created a Tinder account. Heh.......
DexterLS Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 So after I delete & block her from Facebook today she created a Tinder account. Heh....... You do know this is breaking No Contact right? She is not your problem anymore. Accept that and restart your NC, please. 1
Author Yummm Posted June 8, 2015 Author Posted June 8, 2015 Yeah, I get it - been a really hard day. I didn't actively search for this.. I just went on my tinder account and she came up as a potential match in the local area, that's all. I swiped her left so she won't be showing up anymore... Hopefully no more blips and pop ups of her now. She's blocked on FB, as is her family and mutual friends and deleted her number from my phone. It bloody sucks, I thought I was getting better but today is an emotional meltdown. I hope I wake up tomorrow feeling better.
DexterLS Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 Yeah, I get it - been a really hard day. I didn't actively search for this.. I just went on my tinder account and she came up as a potential match in the local area, that's all. I swiped her left so she won't be showing up anymore... Hopefully no more blips and pop ups of her now. She's blocked on FB, as is her family and mutual friends and deleted her number from my phone. It bloody sucks, I thought I was getting better but today is an emotional meltdown. I hope I wake up tomorrow feeling better. Give it time. You will get through this if you do your NC right. 1
Pastmen Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 You're feeling bad because it keeps sinking more in that you've probably lost her forever and that you have to lose hope. That's very hard i'm dealing with it now as well but we're doing this for ourselves. I'd rather be in a relationship with her right now and I think you wanted that as well but that's not an option anymore. You now have to choose between chasing her, watching her moving on and find new guys or forget about her, go on with your own life use the experiences you've learned from the relationship and find another girl that loves you. Seems an easy decision. 1
Author Yummm Posted June 8, 2015 Author Posted June 8, 2015 Ofcourse, that's what I have to do and will actively do. This past month has been a rough'n and time is really slow at the moment... It will pass, thanks alot guys, tough day!
Riptide91 Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 I read your thread and I think it is super important you follow NC and don't "happen" to check something or replay to just ONE text. I can say this because I've been you. You can read my thread if you want just search my name, but basically, my girlfriend left me and I refused to do NC the right way just in case she wanted to come back. I struggled for months and months flopping between doing great and waking up one day devastated. I finally took the situation in my own hands and did what EVERYONE said to: erase her from your life. I can tell you now I do feel a ton better. I haven't spoken to her in a good while, and don't plan to. Are there days she's on my mind? Sure. But the thoughts don't have the same effect anymore, it's not so much of a longing or sad feeling but more of a memory that's been repressed. I am thankful for the relationship we had and it taught me a lot about myself and how I view relationships. Take it as a learning opportunity and make sure the next relationship you try that much harder. Lastly, the best thing I can advise you to set your mind to is falling in love again, with yourself. A lot of people stop doing things they loved or act differently in relationships because they're worried their partner won't like it or approve. I have started doing all the things I never thought I had the "time" for when with my ex. I used these thoughts to put the ones of her in the back of my mind until they slowly faded. Keep up the NC and take care of yourself my man. 1
Author Yummm Posted June 9, 2015 Author Posted June 9, 2015 Thanks for the words bro. I read your post and felt your pain as in your posts - I'm so glad you're finally moving on. Yes, strict NC is the way to go. Since yesterday I implemented that by deleting and blocking her from FB and removing her from my phone. It definitely set me back, but I believe it's going to be beneficial from here onwards. I seriously wish I could cut her out from my real life though, it's really tough - we literally work 2 minutes from eachother and nomatter how much I try to avoid the hours she is out of the office, we always end up either seeing eachother on the road or walking past eachother. It's strange... I've ignored 2 of her breadcrumbs and won't break NC anymore by stalking her - it hurt, alot, even though she isn't with another guy! (imagine how that will feel??) Today is yet again a hard morning, but hopefully it will pass. Hope everybody is having a good day
Author Yummm Posted June 9, 2015 Author Posted June 9, 2015 Went for a lovely cycle for an hour today after work, feeling refreshed. The last 2 days have been an abundance of her on my mind, my mind needs a little rest! 1
philsach890 Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 Went for a lovely cycle for an hour today after work, feeling refreshed. The last 2 days have been an abundance of her on my mind, my mind needs a little rest! Sometimes just gota get out of the house/office and free your mind! Iv been stuck inside for days coz im in the middle of studying for finals FML last exam on Thursday. Im thinking of doing something similar to clear my mind once exams are over. The last 2 weeks my mind has been filled with the situation AND exam stress! Keep busy and do anything you can to keep your mind off it and be productive. Im doing the same man
Author Yummm Posted June 11, 2015 Author Posted June 11, 2015 Firstly, I wanted to thank each and everyone of you for the support you have given me, and others suffering so far, it has helped beyond belief. So last night I had a little revelation, a little moment of euphoria that has blown over onto this morning, although all the painful emotions and negative thoughts are still there (which I gather is normal), they are in the background this morning. I was in a bad state last night, overthinking and replaying the night of the break up in my head, the conversation we had and how it went by. I told myself 'SHUT UP', it didn't work, I did it again 'SHUT UP', it didn't work. I tried another approach: I told myself look at my 8 months prior to the relationship. I was in a beautiful place, work picked up, finally motivated myself to lose weight and lost 30KG in 6 months, went on some beautiful holidays and met lovely people. I did it all for me, nobody else, I found happiness in myself I felt comfortable with myself, it was bliss. Suddenly, I had a burst of euphoria, although I felt like I was alot more happy in a relationship with the feeling of being appreciated, I felt a spark of the contentedness that I felt before the relationship, and I couldn't help falling a sleep with a smile on my face. TL;DR - The suffering right now is terrible, I don't wish this pain on my worst enemy, but I can feel it passing, slowly... I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, barely.... but it's there somewhere. Have faith guys! 1
Author Yummm Posted June 15, 2015 Author Posted June 15, 2015 Hey guys, a little update: So I went on a road trip for the weekend and it was fun! I genuinely had a good time, even though she was on my mind alot and I had alot of urges to message her, I didn't (mainly because I don't have her number anymore, ha!) I woke up this morning, 5 weeks post BU and now 1 week NC (since I deleted & blocked her from Facebook) and this morning was the FIRST morning that she wasn't on my mind. Normally, EVERY morning I wake up wishing she was there, today I didn't! Obviously she is still on my mind, as i'm on LS and typing about her, but it's in the back of my mind rather than the front... I'm just genuinely feeling happy that for ONCE I did not yearn for her this morning as I woke up! Even though it's only been 5 weeks, I've already learnt alot about myself, one of the main things is how much self control I have. I have seen/heard my fare share of breakups and so many people lose their self worth, go begging/pleading back and can't resist the urge. I've taken everybody's advice, and haven't spoken to her in 4 weeks. Even after her messaging me twice, and giving me a little attention stunt with her in my beautiful dress. Proud of myself 1
philsach890 Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 Im happy to hear your positive progress brother keep it up your doing very well! 1
Author Yummm Posted June 16, 2015 Author Posted June 16, 2015 Thanks guys! Today has also been okay.. I ended up once again seeing her at lunchtime walking on the other side of the road, I had a quick glance and continued on my way. I didn't get a heartsink and that is the first time this has happened... Yes, now that i'm back on LS obviously I'm thinking about her, but the fact that I'm not dwelling on things and didn't have my heart drop when I saw her, I believe is somewhat positive? Do you lovely people agree? Thank you all for the support, you've really all helped more than you can imagine. It feels like you are alone in the world, and nobody else can feel your pain even if you know they have had it worse off, or have been through it before... but LS is different. Thank you once again
Author Yummm Posted June 16, 2015 Author Posted June 16, 2015 On my way back from work, a buddy comes over to help fix my car. Guess who drives past after work? Yeah, my ex. My friend points over to her and tells me she's there, we both look and she gets all awkward and quickly drives off. I felt a little $hitty for about 15 mins, I was dwelling and wondering why, told myself to shut up, ended up having a laugh about it! I really am making progress
The Poster Posted June 24, 2015 Posted June 24, 2015 Hey bro, you're right. Our stories are very similar. It was hard to read this...because I knew how it was going to end. I've been there before. It's really hard to handle a breakup when you build such a magical connection so fast and have it come crashing down in a blink of an eye. It leaves you gasping for air and trying to figure out what the **** just happened. The sting of the end of my two month relationship was far worse than the sting of the end of my two year relationship. It's hard to fathom how it could be like this, but that's life. It took me 3 months to recover. I still think about her, but it's not in a place of anguish anymore. There's some pangs of sadness here and there, but nothing like it used to be. You'll be fine though. I know it may not feel like you'll survive, but you will. We may never know how love can grow so cold so fast, but it happens. It doesn't make them a bad person. It's just life. Appreciate what you had, even if it was short. Take what you learned and be better for the next amazing girl that comes your way. Hang in there bud. 1
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