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First date last night - hard to read?


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Posted

So I met a girl last night for a drink. She's not someone I know well, but we met at a few social events in 2013 and connected on facebook at the time. I was in a relationship then so nothing happened.

 

Anyhow, being relatively recently single again I signed up for Tinder and found her on there... I messaged her on Facebook and soon after we 'matched' on Tinder. I asked her for a drink last night - we decided to meet at a country pub that was about halfway for both.

 

I was nervous (to be expected on first dates) but I greeted her with a hug and I set up a tab to take care of the drinks. We sat at a table (opposite one another, sadly) and had long conversations about holidays, interests, a bit about relationships etc. There were maybe a couple of moments where conversation paused but it flowed really well... time flew by, we had 3 drinks apiece and were there for 2hrs 45 minutes - before we both realised it was almost 10:30 and we had to travel home for work in the morning. I think my body language was positive, I smiled a lot and was attentive, we each did a fair share of talking.

 

I walked her to her car and there was an awkward moment where I thought I could've kissed her but didn't (it didn't help that it was freezing outside and I was only in a t-shirt and shivering!) - she leaned in for a hug / kiss on the cheek and said she had a really good time. I asked her to message me when she got home safely.

 

She is stunningly attractive in my opinion (both physically and personality-wise), and I regret not complimenting her on her appearance on the night. In fact I didn't get the opportunity for many compliments.

 

... in many ways I felt like one of those guys you see in movies who sees an attractive girl and freezes, that's the sort of affect she had on me!

 

I *think* she is quite shy too... her body language gave very little away, there was eye contact and smiling but not a huge number of signs.

 

She did message me when she got home and the conversation went:

 

Her: Home safely! Thanks for a lovely evening

 

Me: You're welcome. I had a really nice time, and would definitely like to see you again

 

Her: Cool :) we'll sort something. Night night for now!

 

Me: Goodnight :-)

 

 

So my plan is to call her tonight, as I have a couple of good ideas lined up for a second date that will hopefully allow us to bond a bit better (hiring a pedalo on the river and/or bowling. Good plan?

 

Is it worth trying to break the ice / trying to get some banter going and telling her she's hard to read, or that I was nervous (making a jokey reference to the above?) I have always been told I don't give much away so I'm sure we can joke about it.

 

Sorry for the long post... and thanks in advance of any replies!

Posted

Sounds positive to me!

 

A bit of advice, see if you can do an "activity" next time. Activities like bowling, ice skating, etc all give you an excuse to flirt, tease and relax a bit.

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Posted
Sounds positive to me!

 

A bit of advice, see if you can do an "activity" next time. Activities like bowling, ice skating, etc all give you an excuse to flirt, tease and relax a bit.

 

Thanks - yeah that is the plan!

 

Do you think I should mention the nerves thing or would that just come across as awkward?

Posted
Thanks - yeah that is the plan!

 

Do you think I should mention the nerves thing or would that just come across as awkward?

 

Nope. remember your a big boy now you can ask a girl out and be cool about it regardless of the outcome!!!

 

You can tell her how nervous you were after a few months dating!!! ;)

Posted
So I met a girl last night for a drink. She's not someone I know well, but we met at a few social events in 2013 and connected on facebook at the time. I was in a relationship then so nothing happened.

 

Anyhow, being relatively recently single again I signed up for Tinder and found her on there... I messaged her on Facebook and soon after we 'matched' on Tinder. I asked her for a drink last night - we decided to meet at a country pub that was about halfway for both.

 

I was nervous (to be expected on first dates) but I greeted her with a hug and I set up a tab to take care of the drinks. We sat at a table (opposite one another, sadly) and had long conversations about holidays, interests, a bit about relationships etc. There were maybe a couple of moments where conversation paused but it flowed really well... time flew by, we had 3 drinks apiece and were there for 2hrs 45 minutes - before we both realised it was almost 10:30 and we had to travel home for work in the morning. I think my body language was positive, I smiled a lot and was attentive, we each did a fair share of talking.

 

I walked her to her car and there was an awkward moment where I thought I could've kissed her but didn't (it didn't help that it was freezing outside and I was only in a t-shirt and shivering!) - she leaned in for a hug / kiss on the cheek and said she had a really good time. I asked her to message me when she got home safely.

 

She is stunningly attractive in my opinion (both physically and personality-wise), and I regret not complimenting her on her appearance on the night. In fact I didn't get the opportunity for many compliments.

 

... in many ways I felt like one of those guys you see in movies who sees an attractive girl and freezes, that's the sort of affect she had on me!

 

I *think* she is quite shy too... her body language gave very little away, there was eye contact and smiling but not a huge number of signs.

 

She did message me when she got home and the conversation went:

 

Her: Home safely! Thanks for a lovely evening

 

Me: You're welcome. I had a really nice time, and would definitely like to see you again

 

Her: Cool :) we'll sort something. Night night for now!

 

Me: Goodnight :-)

 

 

So my plan is to call her tonight, as I have a couple of good ideas lined up for a second date that will hopefully allow us to bond a bit better (hiring a pedalo on the river and/or bowling. Good plan?

 

Is it worth trying to break the ice / trying to get some banter going and telling her she's hard to read, or that I was nervous (making a jokey reference to the above?) I have always been told I don't give much away so I'm sure we can joke about it.

 

Sorry for the long post... and thanks in advance of any replies!

 

It was a first date. Don't read anything into it. It's like reading the first page of a book and trying to figure out how the book ends. Just go one date at a time. Call her, ask her for a date on a specific day, time and location. Don't tell her she's hard to read . . . she may not let you turn the page. It will make her feel like she's under some kind of microscope having a guy try to figure her out. Just be natural and have fun.

Posted

Sounds very positive to me!

 

In theory sounds like an ideal date and there was a good connection on an intellectual level as well as what could be some mutual attraction.

 

Nice to read one of these success/good date stories!

 

Wishing you the best going forward.

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