Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 So I'm doing a long term dating situation. We met through mutual friends. He's coming down to my city soon, but bringing his son who I've never met. I suggested to him that I would rather meet him first as I have not met him in the flesh yet, as meeting his son is too soon for me to meet. He says that him and his son are very close and have only spent one week apart. He cannot leave his son alone. I find that for me ( personally) that that makes me feel uncomfortable and NOT because his son and him have a fantastic relationship( that's exactly what you would want) but that he won't find a baby sitter or something. I just want to spend time with me and my date first and foremost... I don't think that is too selfish to request is it? secondly, last time through text ( and things can get pretty lost in translation) I challenged him a little about taking a risk in life, he's got projects but won't exactly have exact goals to finish them. He works causally and I have goals to finish my university study next year. Perhaps I'm just in the type of woman who is goal orientated and he isn't but it just feels like I'm making plans and he's " chipping away at projects" I challenged this in this area, he got upset, I said I'm sorry if I sounded harsh and he said " I just thought you might have had your period or something" offended I told him that that was inappropriate and sounded a little passive aggressive. He didn't contact me for 10 days. Finally when he rang me, he said I don't want any bitterness between us. He told me off by what I said and kind of apologised for what he said but he said it was because " he lives in a womans world and he has hung out with so many woman that woman usually tell him that sort of thing and raising his son singlehandly means that he can "tell when woman have their period" If you hang out with loads of woman you would know that commenting on someone's period when you don't even know them is entirely disrespectful. He then said he was " sorry but I didn't know". Then when we were discussing when he was coming down, he said he was trying to find a baby sitter, I suggested mutual friends. One of my mutual friends. It appeared that he didn't like that option as for two days he didn't call or text. Sick of his " cold shoulder approach" I told him off for it. He then said in the morning that " his phone went flat, he had band practice, his son was doing this or that" the list went on. When I said " I assumed because of what happened last time, that it was likely to happen again" he said it was not 10 days it was 3 days that he didn't contact me. It was 10 days. I have the text messages to prove it, or lack there off. Just seems like I really want to meet this guy in person, but already I feel like there is a distrust and a disconnect. Maybe I do need to meet this man in the flesh, but others say if this is how he shows his true colours now don't wait for an introduction. It's hard to know what his intentions are, and if I am the one over-reacting which he has already made it clear I've been doing. Suggestions?
ExpatInItaly Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 No way in heck would I bother meetin this guy in person. This much drama before an introduction isn't a good sign. He seems immature. Don't waste your time with this. You already don't get along and you've never met him offline! And no, it's not appropriate for him to be bringing his son to your first date. It's not in the best interest of the child, let alone you.
Author Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted May 28, 2015 Author Posted May 28, 2015 No way in heck would I bother meetin this guy in person. This much drama before an introduction isn't a good sign. He seems immature. Don't waste your time with this. You already don't get along and you've never met him offline! And no, it's not appropriate for him to be bringing his son to your first date. It's not in the best interest of the child, let alone you. He told me he wanted to have a baby sitter during the night for his son in ( the city where I live as he knows people who live there) and we can spend time during the night and date then and during the day he'll spend time with his son. But he still wants to bring his son down. I think what difference does it make? it's better and easier if just gets his parents to baby sit his son in the city where he is while daddy makes a trip to see a woman he is interested in?
joseb Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 Suggestions? Cancel the date. Date people closer to you. Preferably without kids, and an attitude.
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