Maverick27 Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 Hi friends, So i've been on NC for a few weeks now. Last time i spoke to her it was regarding official business (end of lease) not personal. I left her with the impression that i was doing fine without her, and i was happy with that (even though im not doing fine without her). Althought im pretty sure she could tell that it was a bit of a front. WELL...today i found out that just a day or two after i last spoke to her, one of my best friends messaged my ex gf saying something along the lines of "Hi, i apologise to meddle in your business. but i think it would be best if you stopped responding to anon, he is just torturing himself every time he contacts you and he has gone off the rails a little bit." Something along those lines apparently, which i found out from another friend... To be honest, it helped, because we didnt have any contact between then and now - but now i'm left thinking that she thinks i'm a lunatic thats out of control and cant handle himself. Did this make me look pathetic? I'm so annoyed at my friend. but theres nothign i can do to UNDO that message. urghhhh Please. tell me how this makes me look from HER perspective? I know i shouldn't care - but i do.
minime13 Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 Hi friends, So i've been on NC for a few weeks now. Last time i spoke to her it was regarding official business (end of lease) not personal. I left her with the impression that i was doing fine without her, and i was happy with that (even though im not doing fine without her). Althought im pretty sure she could tell that it was a bit of a front. WELL...today i found out that just a day or two after i last spoke to her, one of my best friends messaged my ex gf saying something along the lines of "Hi, i apologise to meddle in your business. but i think it would be best if you stopped responding to anon, he is just torturing himself every time he contacts you and he has gone off the rails a little bit." Something along those lines apparently, which i found out from another friend... To be honest, it helped, because we didnt have any contact between then and now - but now i'm left thinking that she thinks i'm a lunatic thats out of control and cant handle himself. Did this make me look pathetic? I'm so annoyed at my friend. but theres nothign i can do to UNDO that message. urghhhh Please. tell me how this makes me look from HER perspective? I know i shouldn't care - but i do. That message didn't do anything to make you look any more pathetic, in her eyes, than what you have done in the 2 months after break-up, but before you initiated NC. If I were you, I'd be upset with your friend, because that's kind of a jerk thing to do, but they only did it because you clearly would keep talking to her as long as she kept responding. So, maybe they did you a solid in the end. Stop caring about what she thinks. She cheated on you and couldn't even be honest about it, then made you feel it was your fault.
DexterLS Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 (edited) Your story and mine look quite similar. She cheated on me and left me for another guy too after a 6-year relationship. I did all the things you did. My friends even spoke to her. At one point, I even messaged her telling her I forgave her for her betrayal. Her answer to me was: "I didn't betray you!". She has no idea, after two months, that what she did was wrong to me. I went into a severe depression, still going through it and she is happy, going out with all her friends and enjoying life. Point is, I don't really care what she thinks about me and you should not care either. The problem is not with you. Edited May 28, 2015 by DexterLS
foolinlove79 Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 Your story and mine look quite similar. She cheated on me and left me for another guy too after a 6-year relationship. I did all the things you did. My friends even spoke to her. At one point, I even messaged her telling her I forgave her for her betrayal. Her answer to me was: "I didn't betray you!". She has no idea, after two months, that what she did was wrong to me. I went into a severe depression, still going through it and she is happy, going out with all her friends and enjoying life. Point is, I don't really care what she thinks about me and you should not care either. The problem is not with you. God dexter. What a horrible thing to do to someone. Do you ever wonder if you even knew your SO? I end up saying to myself i dont even know this person. Ive been with them for years. But i dont know them. My SO definately has a nasty side. Sounds like yours does too.
DexterLS Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 God dexter. What a horrible thing to do to someone. Do you ever wonder if you even knew your SO? I end up saying to myself i dont even know this person. Ive been with them for years. But i dont know them. My SO definately has a nasty side. Sounds like yours does too. Do you ever truly know someone? I have known this girl practically all my life and yet I don't recognise her at all when she spoke to me last. Oh, and despite her cheating on me, I tried to make it work (I know, big mistake..) -- She also selfishly kept my ring. Oh well. Day 2 of NC started today, so it's still quite fresh to me.
hunk Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 Nothing you can do, more contact would just be embarrassing. I would be pissed at your friend, that's a really, really lame thing to do. Stick to the NC.
Ruby65 Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 (edited) The facade you were hoping to project was just another layer of denial -- this was all about the Bargaining Stage, trying to "get your ex back" and negotiate your way back in by acting unaffected by the breakup. The sooner you can stop trying to manipulate her perception of you, the better off you'll be. It might SEEM like a plus to pretend like you're okay with the breakup.... but really that just buys you additional months of suffering, of fighting the reality that the relationship is over. The way your ex treated you is just horrendous. Sleazy. Self-indulgent. Inexcusable. Just the lowest kind of human behavior. She doesn't DESERVE to be in your life. One day, you're going to see her clearly.... and then you won't give a rat's *ss about HOW SHE SEES YOU, what she thinks of you, blah blah blah. You've spent a lot of time apologizing to her and helping her relieve her guilt for what she's done.... pretending it's okay.... I can understand why your friend felt compelled to step in on your behalf and let her know she has to back off already and consider YOUR feelings for once. Edited May 28, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator removed quoted derogatory message 1
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