iceteaguy Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 Today is the 2nd day of the break up and day 2 of NC. I hear this is the time to heal and move forward with my life which I get. People say keep busy and do things you like. But arent we suppose to allow our self to grieve (cry and be sad?) Right now I'm just giving myself around 30 minutes of the day to think about my loss and cry. Do I balance keeping busy with grieving? How do you go about this???
foolinlove79 Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 It really is different for everyone. My ex just has to be busy all the time. On facebook or doing something or out with friends. I personally think that is an avoidance mechanism so he doesnt need to deal with himself. I tend to be more balanced. I find things to do because its not good to sit around over thinking things. But i also think its good to have some time to reflect and grieve for the loss. Whatever helps. It definately gets better with time.
d0nnivain Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 You need to do what works for you. In your shoes, I'd probably spend this weekend crying & feeling sorry for myself with the understanding that come Monday I have to get on with my life. The process is different for everyone. It can't be measured on a calendar.
SankeCoffee Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 I am a little over a month since BU, and 30 days or so of NC, stopped counting. The first few days were very tough and I allowed myself to be alone and grieve. Its only a natural process, let it out and you will be in a better spot to move forward
kasop Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 (edited) Its okie to grieve after your loss.. just dont act out on it (like breaking nc or something worst). Relize you are having these emotions and grieve.. then give them space so that they can fade away with time. Its hard at first but gets easier with time Edited May 28, 2015 by kasop 1
fldoglover Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 It depends. I'm 3 weeks into a break up and I think about my ex constantly. The only time I don't is when I'm at crossfit because I'm so focused on the workout. It depends on the way the relationship ended too. I was so head over heels for my ex and he ended it in the crappiest way possible so now I sit and constantly beat myself up for the things I did wrong even though his behavior made me the way I was. I find it best to get out of town after a breakup. I have yet to spend one weekend in my city and it helps. I feel like I have worn my friends out, so turning to sites like this helps as well. I know it's tough but I find that when I find someone else is when I feel better. It gives you hope that you can be happy again, but you have to give yourself time to grieve. Take it day by day because some days you'll wake up great and then be hit with an emotional bag of rocks. It helps me to think that eventually I'll meet the guy who I wanted my ex to be. 2
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