daisy_098 Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 so after my last post... MONDAY MAY 25; [so my ex boyfriend finally texted me 3 days ago after being broken up for almost a month and NC for 3 weeks.. this break up has been the hardest for me because this man I love to death and care very deeply. His reasoning on breaking up was that he needed space and wanted to be alone, he had so much stress and pressure on him (work wise, family wise, self wise) that he couldn't handle hurting me or confusing me with his chaotic life. Few days after he broke up he did contact me and said he was nothing without me but he just needed space to figure out what he wanted with his life, he wanted to fix it all himself and didn't want me to help him (I offered) but said he was put in that situation that he would fix it himself. Once again, 3 days ago he texted me after not speaking for 3 weeks, he started off with "hey hope everything's going well" of course i got excited and and instantly got butterflies in my stomach, 20 minutes later I replied with "yes, im fine thank you I hope you're feeling better" he says a little but still stressed out like crazy but does miss me very much. He then ask me to take me out to dinner sometime this week, and of course I reply with a yes. But is it a good idea?, I was actually starting to heal those 3 weeks but I was constantly thinking about him 24/7. was the invite more of a just friends type of thing? or maybe his way of wanting to explain everything? btw the text didn't last long, after I said yes. I stopped replying. I also don't want him to think "he still has me" in a way] WEDNESDAY MAY 27, (today) so we finally meet up today for dinner and everything turned out great! We had so much to talk about and we both were smiling the whole time as we sat across from each other. As we were heading back to the car (hours later), he brings up everything and how he is sorry from the bottom of his heart everything he has done, for hurting and confusing me. He mentions that a day has not gone by that he has not stopped thinking about me and that it kills him to know he hurt me the way he did but he was so lost and confused and stressed that he didn't want me involved in his problems that he wanted to sort his life out himself. I'm the type of person (and was raised this way) the help who ever needs help, if someone in my family has a problem someone is always there to help compared to my ex he's always been every independent and always relied on himself for everything. As we continue talking we tell each other how much we love each other and how much we've missed each other and thanks me for giving him his space. Our relationship from the beginning seemed to have moved extremely quickly to the point that maybe we scared each other off, talking about the future with kids and marriage and both being afraid of commitment. Not giving each other space to begin with (texting 24/7, talking 24/7, seeing each other all the time) which I have accepted ruined it the first time. (keep in mind we dated 10 months) He then asks me for a second shot in the relationship but this time we would take things very slow and not publicize it (on social media) right now just to slow things down. I said I could not be in a relationship at the moment mainly because of my fear this would happen again and because I wanted to heal more because I was/am completely guarded up right now and confused still :/ I do maybe later on want to be back with him completely, but right now I want things to go slow just for our relationship but I really don't know how to do that? Any advice please? 1
ColdandLonelyinAK Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 I think you made the right decision. Your breakup sounds a lot like mine (the reasons) and I thought long and hard about what I'd do if my ex ever wanted to give it another shot, and my answer was the same as what you told your ex. It's a good idea to move slow, and just jumping back into his arms would give him the idea that he can become insecure and run off whenever he wants and he'll have you waiting when he returns. I know it's hard saying no to someone, but if he truly believes in the relationship and truly loves you, he'll stick around.
Author daisy_098 Posted May 28, 2015 Author Posted May 28, 2015 I think you made the right decision. Your breakup sounds a lot like mine (the reasons) and I thought long and hard about what I'd do if my ex ever wanted to give it another shot, and my answer was the same as what you told your ex. It's a good idea to move slow, and just jumping back into his arms would give him the idea that he can become insecure and run off whenever he wants and he'll have you waiting when he returns. I know it's hard saying no to someone, but if he truly believes in the relationship and truly loves you, he'll stick around. yes, he completely understood and said when I was ready he would be there. So in a way I just need ways to better manage this relationship for when I am ready..but we will see I'm still at that phase where I'm still want to focus on myself and making sure I'm keeping myself happy first. 1
Author daisy_098 Posted May 28, 2015 Author Posted May 28, 2015 told you it would be fine! so happy for you! hahaha yes, you were right. Thank you!
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