SOSgirl Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 He waits outside my class, he calls me out of class, he ditches his friends for me, tells me he loves me, doesn't let go of me, follows me everywhere , calls me all the time, only wants to makeout, tells me he wants to be together forever... The problem? We've only be together for 2 weeks, and hes Soo "clingy" and is moving way too fast. What do I say to him so i dont hurt his feelings. I last bf was never like this..we were together for 5 months and I'm not used to this. Im at school right now and he just came up behind in the middle of writing this i almost had a heart attack.. he left class to come see me. So.. What do I do... I like him and all but this is all too much too soon. He was really depressed before I started going out with him and now he's totally turned around and he says things like.. "my life was **** until now that I have you and I'm not letting go" These things somewhat scare me...kinda creepy. He wouldnt ever hurt me though he doesnt get mad like ever and i know he'd enver try and hurt me... or anyone.. If we ever breakup how is he going to deal with it? I need help... how can I make him back off a bit??
NiCoLe20 Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 write him a note or an email and tell him what you told us..... or say it to his face
Firesqueak Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 Yeah... tell him that to his face. Sit him down (maybe go to a park, where it's public, but not too public) and tell him in the most gentle way possible that you're not feeling the clinginess. Tell him that you do want to be with him (that is, if you still do) but that you need more space. Tell him that you like spending time with your friends (even if he doesn't) and that you want him to spend time with his friends, too. Just from a perspective of someone in a long term live in relationship- it doesn't matter how short of a time (or how long) you've been with someone, you always need personal space. AFter all, if you spend too much time together, you'll never have anything interesting to talk about. BTW, he sounds pretty young. If you took his virginity, or if you're his first girlfriend, he will likely continue to be very clingy. He doesn't know any better, and he still has a juvenile idea about romance, think Romeo and Juliet.
ReluctantRomeo Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 Originally posted by Firesqueak He doesn't know any better, and he still has a juvenile idea about romance, think Romeo and Juliet. Hey, don't drag me into this, Pipsqueak Seriously, I think Firesqueak and Nicole are right - you should explain this to him gently and clearly. Discuss frequency of contact together and stick to it. You could even get him to read one of these dating things which suggest that guys keep their own lives and limit contact as a way to be more attractive to the girls. But choose carefully which one you put him onto
faux Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 I agree with everyone in that you should tell this guy how you feel. This might be difficult for you to do, as it often is for most people. If you want to be effective, you are going to have to tell him exactly how his behavior upsets you, and not worry about hurting his feelings. You will also have to stop worrying about how he would react to your words, or a possible break-up. A relationship involves two people, and both of those people need to feel safe and comfortable. If this guy is making you uncomfortable, you need to tell him that. If he cannot listen to you, you may have to end the relationship. If it comes to you ending things, just worry about yourself and how you feel.
ConfusedInOC Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 Well the relationship is new, but you need to take control. Sit him down. Tell him what you like and don't like. Ask him to respect that and if he can't, you'll break it off. Communication (or lack thereof) is, IMHO, the #1 problem in all relationships. So communicate with him by letting him know what you want and DON'T want.
SOSgirl Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 Its just that hes very sweet, and yes a little immature. He hasn't had very many girlfriends and now that he has me he just wants to hold on and not let go. Mayb i mention we were really good friends before this. If I tell him this, wont i embaress him? I dont want to do this...
Skullcrusher Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 register yoself first before i reply back to you. i order you female.
SOSgirl Posted April 26, 2005 Posted April 26, 2005 there... i registered!!! the thing is ... if I tell him this... he might think im trying to change him and dont like who he is.
ConfusedInOC Posted April 26, 2005 Posted April 26, 2005 Originally posted by SOSgirl there... i registered!!! the thing is ... if I tell him this... he might think im trying to change him and dont like who he is. You're not trying to change him. You're trying to keep him from suffocating you. Big difference.
Recommended Posts