Bluemug Posted May 27, 2015 Posted May 27, 2015 Help! I'm not sure what my next move should be... Convinced myself to go on a date with a guy I liked but had to rearrange as things got hectic at work. He was fine and suggested Thursday (seemed happy when I confirmed later that afternoon). But now it's been three days since we spoke and I have no idea what's happening tomorrow. Should I call or follow my instinct and wait and see?
PegNosePete Posted May 27, 2015 Posted May 27, 2015 You both confirmed Thursday, what's the problem? I would fire him a quick text saying you're looking forward to tomorrow night. You should get back "yeah me too" or "huh what u talking about?" and can go from there.
Author Bluemug Posted May 27, 2015 Author Posted May 27, 2015 Alright text sent :/ argh feel like I'm going to get cancelled on
PegNosePete Posted May 27, 2015 Posted May 27, 2015 Well if you do, at least you'll know, which is better than being stood up.
jen1447 Posted May 27, 2015 Posted May 27, 2015 Nah. He was probably more worried about it than you. But if he does, just say "cool, I was gonna ask if you minded ending it early anyway so I could get to my other date quicker." 1
Author Bluemug Posted May 27, 2015 Author Posted May 27, 2015 I won't lie, if he does cancel I will Be really annoyed. I rearranged something so that I could work with his schedule
Author Bluemug Posted May 27, 2015 Author Posted May 27, 2015 Thanks for encouraging me I have a date tomorrow and now I feel like I can be excited. Finally!! 2
Toodaloo Posted May 27, 2015 Posted May 27, 2015 Thanks for encouraging me I have a date tomorrow and now I feel like I can be excited. Finally!! Good Luck Bluemug! We will all have fingers crossed for you! 1
Lansing Posted May 27, 2015 Posted May 27, 2015 Secretly I hope that girls I set up dates with are equally anxious/excited that I will cancel on them... ha.. When I set up a date, I expect the date to happen and I don't "check in" again to confirm the date. A date is a date.. Actually, by even checking in your give the girl a greater chance to cancel last minute. Hope you have fun tomorrow night.
Author Bluemug Posted May 27, 2015 Author Posted May 27, 2015 Secretly I hope that girls I set up dates with are equally anxious/excited that I will cancel on them... ha.. When I set up a date, I expect the date to happen and I don't "check in" again to confirm the date. A date is a date.. Actually, by even checking in your give the girl a greater chance to cancel last minute. Hope you have fun tomorrow night. Yeah see your point. My only reason for checking in was because I had no idea about where to meet/time. Otherwise, I'd just show up and proceed haha Fingers crossed for tomorrow hey!
Author Bluemug Posted May 28, 2015 Author Posted May 28, 2015 Got a message mid morning, can we post phone, family situation he needs to be there for..... Damn How to proceed, I don't know, as I'm kinda down about it now
Redhead14 Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 Got a message mid morning, can we post phone, family situation he needs to be there for..... Damn How to proceed, I don't know, as I'm kinda down about it now You rearranged your schedule to accommodate him originally. I would never do that for a first date anyway. I might offer another day or time in that case but I wouldn"t change something I already had planned. But, since you did rearrange your schedule for him, I'd call him. Say something like, "I'm sorry about that situation. I changed my schedule for this date and I'm pretty busy but I am available next ______ at X time, if you would like to get together then, please let me know by X day to confirm (make it a couple of days away from the date). If he doesn't confirm or if he cancels again, you cut him lose. 1
candie13 Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 cross him off, girl. let him go with something like "no pbm, hope all's well with your family. keep in touch" and get lost. he's a gonner, trust me. Next 2
Toodaloo Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 You rearranged your schedule to accommodate him originally. I would never do that for a first date anyway. I might offer another day or time in that case but I wouldn"t change something I already had planned. But, since you did rearrange your schedule for him, I'd call him. Say something like, "I'm sorry about that situation. I changed my schedule for this date and I'm pretty busy but I am available next ______ at X time, if you would like to get together then, please let me know by X day to confirm (make it a couple of days away from the date). If he doesn't confirm or if he cancels again, you cut him lose. Wot she said... Just remember that if he doesn't go through with this date its a poor reflection on HIM and HIS character not you or yours. So if he cancels again he isn't worthy of you anyway. 1
Author Bluemug Posted May 28, 2015 Author Posted May 28, 2015 Thanks guys! I have lined up drinks tonight with a guy I got talking to at the weekend. I figured why waste the evening I had put aside.... Don't get me wrong...I'm really hoping this family situation was a real deal :/ 4
PegNosePete Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 Nicely done He sent a message mid morning telling of a family situation that is going to happen this evening? That seems rather fishy to me. I would do as the above poster suggested. Don't do any more rearranging, simply let him know the next time you're free and see if he wants to meet up. If not, cut loose. 2
Author Bluemug Posted May 28, 2015 Author Posted May 28, 2015 Our date was late afternoon/evening :/ sorta three hours notice. Ah well, watch this space. I'm not texting him or calling today
candie13 Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 better, no use to play nice and polite. try to not text him either in a day or two and let him initiate contact. when and if he does initiate contact, reconsider responding to him. looks like a flake to me, better let him be... 1
Author Bluemug Posted May 28, 2015 Author Posted May 28, 2015 Yeah think you might be right, Candie. Shame. He was so nice too
Versacehottie Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 cross him off, girl. let him go with something like "no pbm, hope all's well with your family. keep in touch" and get lost. he's a gonner, trust me. Next I agree with this. You should give the exact response candie suggested. Vague enough to say I think your bs'ing, not desperate by YOU suggesting an alternative date (he should be one to be asking when to reschedule RIGHT now if he really cared). Super fishy. It's astounding to me how many people mention getting cancelled on for "family emergencies" via online dating. Compare that to real life dating or your social life with your friends. Are there actually that many family emergencies? It's pretty rare, yet rampant in online dating. Think about it. Anyway the response she suggested leaves you taking the high road in the off chance he is being truthful. I don't think he is though--even with a virtual stranger, I think people would qualify the emergency as "with my mom", etc. Plus IF you think about just the odds of people having emergencies and that's a huge IF and the coincidence or from a stats point of view that it's cropping up now--well he may have "them" a lot. Sounds like a life with a lot of drama. Not his best foot forward or mindset to be dating if there is a shred of truth to this. I don't think there is but still it's the other side of the coin and not great either. Next.
jen1447 Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 He may be legit but I tend to agree with letting him reach out this time. He broke the last one so it's on him to fix the next one. Just common sense. Anyway if he doesn't follow in a few days, say "see ya." 1
Lois_Griffin Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 Yeah, sounds like a classic blow-off. After he made the date for Thursday night, it sounds as though another opportunity came up for that night and he was waiting to make sure it was confirmed before he cancelled with you. Don't rearrange you schedule again for anyone. 1
Author Bluemug Posted May 28, 2015 Author Posted May 28, 2015 You guys are right! Not text from me. I made a reply similar to what you suggested, but without the "keep in touch", mainly as I figured, you have my number, you know what you can do with it if you want to. I thought it was suspicious. Sigh. Onwards, few hours and it's my second first date of the day haha 1
candie13 Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 there's so many much more from where that one came ! here's to sh*t loads of first dates in the near future 2
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