Sometimes breakups are nobody's fault

[Cameron2000]

There doesn't need to be mistreatment in the relationship to warrant a breakup. All breakups happen for a reason. Sometimes it is through the fault of one or both parties and other times nobody is at fault and the breakup was for the best.

 

There can be lots of reasons couples breakup and there is no limit to the list. Some breakups happen because one or both parties have changed and want different things out of life. It happens. They may have had a wonderful relationship while it lasted treating each other well. Maybe the woman has a newfound desire to have children and the guy doesn't want kids. Well they have to break up in that case because kids are a big decision. That doesn't mean anybody was at fault for the breakup.

 

I dated a woman for 3 years. Towards the tail end of it she wanted children and I didn't. So even under the best circumstances and even if I was the most wonderful boyfriend in the world it would not have worked out because we had a conflict of long term agendas.

 

So I don't see how self improvement after a breakup applies in situations where people break up over incompatibilites.

[BikerAccnt]

I agree Cameron, self improvement isn't always necessary after every breakup. In the instance you mention, the only thing I would try to look back on was the question of children. Was this a known factor at the beginning of the relationship, or did one of you change?

 

 

If one of you changed your mind (and that is a perfectly reasonable thing for either of you to do) moving on is really the only solution, and there isn't much self improvement you can do. BUT, if either of you knew the others position on children at the start of the relationship, and knew it was opposite your opinion, then some self-reflection about why you pursued the relationship is in order.

 

 

But to your point, sometimes a breakup just needs to be, just as bad things sometimes happen to people who do everything right. No amount of self-reflection will change things.

[preraph]

If only more people realized this instead of trying to blame each other for not being the person they hoped they'd be.

[No Limit]

Sureit doesn't have to be mistreatment. Simply falling out of love is reason enough to end a relationship. Things go wrong when the person who fell out of love has other issues so he or she can't leave without cheating and betraying their ex.