How many feet should you stand from a woman when talking to her?

[Toodaloo]

I might be exaggerating a bit, but it was a great distance. The girl seems around 19 or 20 years old, I'm 29. She's also petite, and seems pretty open to talking. I lost some confidence that day, because I stood too far from her.

 

You really need to stop reading those PUA books.

 

There are VERY few men in the world who can actually carry that stuff off.

 

Seriously, stop reading them.

 

What you need to start doing is just talking to women as people and get to know them.

 

That way when you ask them out they are far less likely to upset you if they turn you down (which happens 99/100) and you can start feeling more secure in yourself.

[UnknownSoldier]

You really need to stop reading those PUA books.

 

There are VERY few men in the world who can actually carry that stuff off.

 

Seriously, stop reading them.

 

What you need to start doing is just talking to women as people and get to know them.

 

That way when you ask them out they are far less likely to upset you if they turn you down (which happens 99/100) and you can start feeling more secure in yourself.

 

I don't agree on putting down the PUA books, because they explain clear cut scientific ways of getting women, and they've been proven. I need to read these books to understand women so women don't take advantage of me. My love life was completely down the drain, and my wife was cheating on me behind closed doors. The books have taught me how to

 

- Play the male gender role.

- Use negative body language.

- Be dominant in interactions.

- Understanding eye contact.

- Psychological space.

 

And much much more. It gives you knowledge in understanding women, and knowledge is power.

 

The only problem with the PUA books currently, is that they've turned me into a Glass Cannon. In other words, I've become a chick magnet with many women approaching me (using dominant body language), and because I haven't mastered the other techniques, they get pissed off, and I get rejected.

 

Toodaloo, I completely understand where you're coming from. I just want to be happy. I want to have someone there with me, to cuddle, to hold, and to love, just like you do.

[Toodaloo]

PUA tactics are there to get you laid with women who have Daddy issues or no respect for either themselves or you.

 

They are not there to help you develop a meaningful and lasting relationship.

 

Seriously put those books down. There are plenty of others that are FAR better at helping you find what you want.

 

Those books have taught you how to use negative body language??? Seriously any woman worth half the weight of her little finger is going to get up and walk away.

 

I know you just want to be happy but this is not the way for you to get there.

 

What you actually need to learn is how to have boundaries and ensure that the people involved in your life respect those. You need to learn how to look after yourself and your emotions.

 

Those are the things that will lead to you being happier with or with out a woman and funnily enough those are also the things that will lead to a good woman wanting to be with you.

[Satu]

Be exactly the same person on the outside and on the inside.

 

Authenticity is very sexy.

[Elam]

Amen.

 

Is this really something men worry about let alone think about?

 

Geez.

 

You'd be surprised at how much men think when they are near women. ''Will she think I'm creepy if I look at her for 2 seconds in a row?'

 

''Will she feel uncomfortable if I smile at her?''

 

Being a man is hard. Especially so when the man is average and is still expected to put al of the work-n.

[UnknownSoldier]

PUA tactics are there to get you laid with women who have Daddy issues or no respect for either themselves or you.

 

They are not there to help you develop a meaningful and lasting relationship.

 

Seriously put those books down. There are plenty of others that are FAR better at helping you find what you want.

 

Those books have taught you how to use negative body language??? Seriously any woman worth half the weight of her little finger is going to get up and walk away.

 

I know you just want to be happy but this is not the way for you to get there.

 

What you actually need to learn is how to have boundaries and ensure that the people involved in your life respect those. You need to learn how to look after yourself and your emotions.

 

Those are the things that will lead to you being happier with or with out a woman and funnily enough those are also the things that will lead to a good woman wanting to be with you.

 

PUA tactics help you understand women so the woman isn't screwing several men behind your back while you're at home playing Tetris.

 

Yes, they are. The book teaches you how women think, and can even help you if you want a long lasting relationship, such as marriage.

 

No, I won't put the books down. The books have helped me understand women. I was a nerd that couldn't get anyone back in my day. I didn't lose my virginity until 24, and the girl was no damn good.

 

Why would a woman get up and walk away if I'm using negative body language? Negative body languages psychologically pulls women in.

 

Yeah it is. Maybe I'm tired of women not returning my phone calls, laughing and making fun of me, blowing me off, and saying they just want to be friends?

 

If you want people to respect you, you have to know psychology. This is the bottom line.

 

No woman is going to want to be with a man that doesn't know how to be like a man. The PUA books have saved me.

[UnknownSoldier]

You'd be surprised at how much men think when they are near women. ''Will she think I'm creepy if I look at her for 2 seconds in a row?'

 

''Will she feel uncomfortable if I smile at her?''

 

Being a man is hard. Especially so when the man is average and is still expected to put al of the work-n.

 

Its because women don't understand that this stuff is running through their subconscious minds when a man is talking to them. Women have a brain that operates using emotion, not logic, which is why its easy for them to sit up here and laugh at all this like its some big joke.

[deadelvis]

Why don't you try treating beautiful women exactly the same as everyone else. I don't even filter my filthy behaviour around attractive women. Some women find it a turnoff when I treat them the same as I would a male friend. Most just find it refreshing that I'm not acting like some creepy PUA. And confidence goes a long way. Treating a smoking hot girl like a regular person and not falling all over yourself goes a long way too. So does not giving a f**k. Burn those pathetic books and grow a set. Sorry man. Just sayin

[Shining One]

Amen.

 

Is this really something men worry about let alone think about?

 

Geez.

Take a gander at the What makes a man creepy? thread. While that thread was far from developing a consensus, many of the women indicated that "invading personal space" makes a man creepy.

[Elam]

Its because women don't understand that this stuff is running through their subconscious minds when a man is talking to them. Women have a brain that operates using emotion, not logic, which is why its easy for them to sit up here and laugh at all this like its some big joke.

 

Nah, women are just as logical as mind are. That women are emotional and ruled by their emotions is an outdated notion from the patriarchy. Men back then didn't want to believe their wives would cheat on them with cads and rakes, it was a far better self-explanation to justify why their wives barely put out for them, but would put out for a Lord Byron type.

 

Now, women have the upper hand in their social interactions with men. Most women don't find most men sexually attractive. Each woman has her own personal ideal of what a hot man is(although we can all agree that there are certain men who are very attractive to most women a la Brad Pitt) which makes it far easier for a woman to have a conversation with a man.

 

She's not worried she'll come across as a creep. She's not afraid he's going to reject her because of her clumsiness. She's not busy reading his body language and his tone voice to deduct if he's sexually attracted to her.

 

Next put a woman near her physical ideal and she will stammer and will overthink her interactions with her dream man, like most men do with most women.. because sadly most men aren't all that picky and can feel attracted to any woman lol.

 

College was a fun trip. I would see guys enter another dimension just from having their arm casually touched by average women. You sure didn't see women birth stars in their eyes as they were smiled at by average men.

[Satu]

The OP sounds like someone who's recently joined a cult.

[Elam]

The OP sounds like someone who's recently joined a cult.

 

How so? He's just trying to figure out how to talk to women without coming across as needy, desperate, or as a creep.

[elaine567]

Negative body languages psychologically pulls women in.

What negative body language are you using?

[jen1447]

It's interesting to me that so many threads like this get started ostensibly asking questions and when those questions get answered, the OP almost invariably says "no, that's wrong, this is the way it is."

 

How do you presume to know, being someone who had to ask in the first place?

[alphamale]

if a woman likes you she will take the lead, this includes body language. all the man has to do is mirror her

[GravityMan]

This thread topic is the oddest one I've seen in a while.

 

Your brain desperately needs a vacation, OP...

[Satu]

“Neurosis is the way of avoiding nonbeing by avoiding being”

 

― Paul Tillich, The Courage to Be

[Michelle ma Belle]

I don't agree on putting down the PUA books, because they explain clear cut scientific ways of getting women, and they've been proven. I need to read these books to understand women so women don't take advantage of me. My love life was completely down the drain, and my wife was cheating on me behind closed doors. The books have taught me how to

 

And much much more. It gives you knowledge in understanding women, and knowledge is power.

 

.

 

Scientific? How romantic

 

If this is the book I'm thinking it is it was penned by a MAN which I think says it all. If you really want to understand women better it might help to ask WOMEN.

 

Speaking as a woman, I also agree with Satu that being authentic and having a quiet confidence goes a long way with women. Playing some pick-up game and trying to be something you're not is wildly unattractive. Any woman with an ounce of self worth can sniff that out a mile away.

 

Good luck.

[Elam]

Scientific? How romantic

 

If this is the book I'm thinking it is it was penned by a MAN which I think says it all. If you really want to understand women better it might help to ask WOMEN.

 

Speaking as a woman, I also agree with Satu that being authentic and having a quiet confidence goes a long way with women. Playing some pick-up game and trying to be something you're not is wildly unattractive. Any woman with an ounce of self worth can sniff that out a mile away.

 

Good luck.

 

There is little romance in the mating world. Put 2 guys in front of a woman. Both are equally good-looking. One is 5'7'', the other one is 6'2''. She's going to pick which guy? Most likely the taller guy. He makes her feel safe. Romantic? no, biology.

 

Women in their 30s, men are usually balding or already bald. Put two guys in front of a woman. Again, both are equally good-looking, both have great personalities. But one of them is balding and the other guy has a full head of thick hair. Which guys is going to be chosen? The guy with the hair. Biology.

 

Yes, I'm sure guys like jason staham don't have trouble picking-up women but guys like him are rare.

 

The book was created by a man. Yes? Your point being? Casanova was a man. Who slept with hundreds of women. He wrote a book. Maybe he also wrote a book on how to pick-up women and it got lost in time. You're telling guys to listen to what women want men to tell them and act instead of paying attention to the advice of men who are highly successful with women?

 

If a man wants to have a great sex life he has to learn from other men what works and what doesn't work. I know that we all want to feel like we're special snowflakes but most of all react to the same stimulus. When I see a tall, natural blonde woman aged 18-25 I don't think of how romantic she must be during the summer days.

 

Look at how many guys centuries past used poetry and would go on adventures to try and gain the attention of women. Guys do what works.

 

 

Really, your advice doesn't make much sense to me. So if you develop health issues you are going to talk to a doctor or to someone who might know what you're suffering from because you both share the same gender?

 

Confidence don't mean much if he doesn't have anything to back it up with. Yes, attractive men are confident. But its their physical attractivness what makes them confident, what makes them sexually interesting to women. It is not the confidence itself that makes the man sexually appealing to women.

 

I grew up with guys who still have serious self-esteem issues because they were overweight or short as teenagers and now they look good enough to work as male models. Women approach them and make it quite easy for them.

 

I know men who are confident and authentic but don't have godlike aesthetics, and they are dateless and not by choice, and not by approaching only women who are way above their league.

 

 

Playing some pick-up game and trying to be something you're not is wildly unattractive. Any woman with an ounce of self worth can sniff that out a mile away.

 

 

Yeah.

 

No. There was a recent accident in China. A guy was in a car crash and was taken to the hospital. 12 women or so rushed to the hospital to make sure he was fine. All of them were this dude's girlfriends, each of them thinking they were the only one. You think the guy got that many women by being authentic?

 

Women can't really sniff anything. There have been women who've were in relationships with serial killers and they didn't suspect anything at all.

 

My advice to the OP is to lift heavy. Transform your body into a thing of beauty. Women will follow soon enough.

 

if a woman likes you she will take the lead, this includes body language. all the man has to do is mirror her

 

Dude, I mean no offense, but you're what? In your mid 40s? 50s? Young women throw themselves at men they are attracted to, some of them don't, but a huge amount of them do it, and they don't make it like ''mirror body language, aww yeah.''

Edited May 27, 2015 by Elam

[davidromero43]

42 is the Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything.

[Michelle ma Belle]

There is little romance in the mating world. Put 2 guys in front of a woman. Both are equally good-looking. One is 5'7'', the other one is 6'2''. She's going to pick which guy? Most likely the taller guy. He makes her feel safe. Romantic? no, biology.

 

Women in their 30s, men are usually balding or already bald. Put two guys in front of a woman. Again, both are equally good-looking, both have great personalities. But one of them is balding and the other guy has a full head of thick hair. Which guys is going to be chosen? The guy with the hair. Biology.

 

Yes, I'm sure guys like jason staham don't have trouble picking-up women but guys like him are rare.

 

The book was created by a man. Yes? Your point being? Casanova was a man. Who slept with hundreds of women. He wrote a book. Maybe he also wrote a book on how to pick-up women and it got lost in time. You're telling guys to listen to what women want men to tell them and act instead of paying attention to the advice of men who are highly successful with women?

 

If a man wants to have a great sex life he has to learn from other men what works and what doesn't work. I know that we all want to feel like we're special snowflakes but most of all react to the same stimulus. When I see a tall, natural blonde woman aged 18-25 I don't think of how romantic she must be during the summer days.

 

Look at how many guys centuries past used poetry and would go on adventures to try and gain the attention of women. Guys do what works.

 

 

Really, your advice doesn't make much sense to me. So if you develop health issues you are going to talk to a doctor or to someone who might know what you're suffering from because you both share the same gender?

 

Confidence don't mean much if he doesn't have anything to back it up with. Yes, attractive men are confident. But its their physical attractivness what makes them confident, what makes them sexually interesting to women. It is not the confidence itself that makes the man sexually appealing to women.

 

I grew up with guys who still have serious self-esteem issues because they were overweight or short as teenagers and now they look good enough to work as male models. Women approach them and make it quite easy for them.

 

I know men who are confident and authentic but don't have godlike aesthetics, and they are dateless and not by choice, and not by approaching only women who are way above their league.

 

 

 

 

 

Yeah.

 

No. There was a recent accident in China. A guy was in a car crash and was taken to the hospital. 12 women or so rushed to the hospital to make sure he was fine. All of them were this dude's girlfriends, each of them thinking they were the only one. You think the guy got that many women by being authentic?

 

Women can't really sniff anything. There have been women who've were in relationships with serial killers and they didn't suspect anything at all.

 

My advice to the OP is to lift heavy. Transform your body into a thing of beauty. Women will follow soon enough.

 

 

 

Dude, I mean no offense, but you're what? In your mid 40s? 50s? Young women throw themselves at men they are attracted to, some of them don't, but a huge amount of them do it, and they don't make it like ''mirror body language, aww yeah.''

 

Man, assume much? Yet another one who assumes that ALL women pick men BASED SOLELY ON THEIR LOOKS! Hell must be freezing over to think a women might have other barometers to measure a man's overall attractiveness. You must be young.

 

Sorry to burst your bubble but that is NOT necessarily the case for ALL women.

 

I'm sorry you're so jaded by your past experiences that you feel this is your reality. And maybe there are women out there that fit this description but then again you could say the same for some men as well. It goes both ways.

 

As for your scenario, I will tell you that for ME if the guy who is 5'7" has a great personality, good sense of humor, strong character and carries himself with that quiet confidence I spoke about I'd choose him 100x over the tall dark BLANK muscle head player...regardless of how much hair either of them have.

 

And speaking of confidence, that has to come from WITHIN not attached to some some chick you're hoping to bang for heaven's sake. I mean, how exhausting not to mention sad to base all your self esteem and self worth on the opposite sex.

 

Someone needs a serious hug.

Edited May 27, 2015 by Michelle ma Belle

[Elam]

Man, assume much? Yet another one who assumes that ALL women pick men BASED SOLELY ON THEIR LOOKS! Hell must be freezing over to think a women might have other barometers to measure a man's overall attractiveness. You must be young.

 

Sorry to burst your bubble but that is NOT necessarily the case for ALL women.

 

I'm sorry you're so jaded by your past experiences that you feel this is your reality. And maybe there are women out there that fit this description but then again you could say the same for some men as well. It goes both ways.

 

As for your scenario, I will tell you that for ME if the guy who is 5'7" has a great personality, good sense of humor, strong character and carries himself with that quiet confidence I spoke about I'd choose him 100x over the tall dark BLANK muscle head player...regardless of how much hair either of them have.

 

And speaking of confidence, that has to come from WITHIN not attached to some some chick you're hoping to bang for heaven's sake. I mean, how exhausting not to mention sad to base all your self esteem and self worth on the opposite sex.

 

Someone needs a serious hug.

 

Not all women pick men based on looks(and picking a man on his height even if he looks ugly is still picking a guy on looks).

 

I know women who picked their partners based on the fact that their SO made double their monthly paycheck. Others picked their So because they had a great future ahead of them. Its true that women don't solely pick based on looks, but sexual attraction is very, very important to a woman, and women who make their own money select their men on how the men make them feel.

 

How he looks plays a major part in that. I know one guy who hasn't had a job in 15 years, unless you count reading tarot cards a few times every few months as a job, and he's mated with a woman who not only looks great, but she's a doctor in a highly respected private clinic. He's got a pretty good gig going.

 

Yeah, you are correct. I am young. And as young man I am picked by women based on how I look and how I make them feel. Not on how much money I make, or how much money my family has. i further make them select me via my looks(like a woman is attracted to me but since I'm the whole package she might want to be with me in a relationship instead of a ONS) by playing the whole dumb jock who can barely put two sentences together. I also fake my family background, saying that I'm middle-class. Heh.

 

Young women don't care much about a man's job or his personality. I am friends with pretty decent-looking guys who aren't short nor overweight and they haven't had a date in years, despite being interested in women with similar looks, some desperate enough even lower their standards to no avail.

 

I don't know of one guy who has good looks who happens to have bad luck with women. Sure, women might not want to be in a relationship with us..but why would we want a relationship? I've been in one of those before. She was tall and leggy and blonde and I enjoyed the intimate moments I had with her, but having to concern myself with someone else, having to deal with someone else's problems and needs. Nah.

 

If I want companionship I hang out with my friends, my brothers or with my dog.

 

Anyway.

 

Women do select all sorts of men to be in relationships with. Despite that, I have friends who are in relationships but they aren't getting laid. The women they are with aren't even hot. They're essentially investing time and resources and not getting anything in return. I keep telling them to hit the gym, let me borrow you guys some clothes and let me treat you to my dentist and you lot will have your fair share of women wanting to bang you. but no. They're romantics. God bless them lol.

 

There are plenty of women in relationships with men they aren't attracted to, but as women age and attractive men begin to go younger, women lower their standards and will make do.

[phineas]

I prefer to be inside a women when I talk to her.

all dirty like.

[Michelle ma Belle]

There are plenty of women in relationships with men they aren't attracted to, but as women age and attractive men begin to go younger, women lower their standards and will make do.

 

Yet another insanely presumptuous and erroneous assumption on the part of a young man who hasn't lived long enough to truly experience nor appreciate life and love and everything in between.

 

Speaking as an "older" woman who has had a plethora of experiences particularly with regards to men and relationships, the older I get the HIGHER my standards have become.

 

Why? Because I know what I want and especially what I don't want and I'm not afraid to ask for it. I have also grown VERY comfortable in my own skin and especially in my sexuality and I have come to learn (as you will hopefully) that happiness and confidence and self-worth comes from WITHIN and not from other people.

 

I march to the beat of my own drum anymore. I know what is important and I know what isn't. I've learned a great many things in my many years and the biggest ones are that I have value and my time is precious.

 

Translation? I don't waste my time hanging around anyone (men or women) who choose to play games or think, live and behave one-dimensionally. Life isn't black and white and either are people.

 

The sooner you realize this the better off your life will be.

 

And FYI, people who settle do so out of fear and insecurity, NOT because of their age.

 

As a vibrant woman who happens to be older I no longer have either.

 

I hope one day you'll get to experience this as well.

[organizedchaos]

Amen.

 

Is this really something men worry about let alone think about?

 

Geez.

 

Not for men who have talked to at least one person ever in their life.