rebs11 Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 I am looking for some advice/insight into how men handle break-ups. My boyfriend and I just broke up after a 6+ month relationship. It was a mutual break-up; we're both moving in different directions with our lives, and it's just not a good time to be together. Maybe in the future we'll arrive at a point when we're ready to be together again. I guess I'm looking for some proof that he's mourning the end of the relationship as much as I am. I mean it was the right decision, but we were still physically attracted to eachother and I (at least) still love him. I still want to see him and be his friend, but I'm not sure guys want that. I think I'm still holding onto the posibililty of us getting together in the future and that if we remain friends this is more likely to happen. Can anyone give me an outline of how guys deal with longterm relationship break-ups? Or maybe some advice on if it's possible to stay friends with him?
westernxer Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 Why should you care how he handles it? Worry about yourself.
ConfusedInOC Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 I think she's considering the possibility of a reconcilliation. I agree though, she needs to care about herself. I should be doing that now instead of wondering why my Ex is doing (she's in class right now...). I should care much more about me than her.
ReluctantRomeo Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 Discussion on another thread suggested that individuals vary, but guys on average take it worse. I would personally add the rider that the pain may be greater for guys, but I think you are out of our heads quicker than us out of yours.... especially regarding sex.
westernxer Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC I should be doing that now instead of wondering why my Ex is doing (she's in class right now...). I should care much more about me than her. Hang in there, man. You too, rebs.
ConfusedInOC Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 Originally posted by westernxer Hang in there, man. You too, rebs. I'm doing better, thanks. I know time and NC will heal all but it's only been a week. I find myself pre-occupied with trying to help others so that I can cope, and pray I listen to my own advice.
westernxer Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 I recommend the movie "Swingers" for an exposé on how guys handle breakups. Guys should definitely watch it. Most women hate it, but it's pretty accurate, which is why they hate it.
ConfusedInOC Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 Originally posted by westernxer I recommend the movie "Swingers" for an exposé on how guys handle breakups. Guys should definitely watch it. Most women hate it, but it's pretty accurate, which is why they hate it. Ok cool, I'll rent it. I saw HITCH this weekend. I am the fat guy in the movie, only in my case, I got the girl, I just couldn't keep her.
ReluctantRomeo Posted April 26, 2005 Posted April 26, 2005 Originally posted by westernxer I recommend the movie "Swingers" for an exposé on how guys handle breakups. Guys should definitely watch it. Most women hate it, but it's pretty accurate, which is why they hate it. Originally posted by simon_uk repeat viewings of 'Swingers' keeps me sane!!!! Never seen it, but will now. Anyone fancy chatting about it after?
simon_uk Posted April 26, 2005 Posted April 26, 2005 I can chat about that movie till the cows come home!!! hehe Even when I am not feeling the way I do after a break up it is still such a cool movie! Vince Vaughn is a god!
westernxer Posted April 26, 2005 Posted April 26, 2005 Yes, Vince Vaughn is a God. He's so cool in that movie.
simon_uk Posted April 26, 2005 Posted April 26, 2005 He's in a new film, currently shooting I think called 'The Break Up' sounds like our kinda movie!
simon_uk Posted April 26, 2005 Posted April 26, 2005 Well Jennifer Aniston is co-starring so another plus The film is an original idea by Vaughn and the basic plot is Couple, going through divorce but still have to live together. sounds like he could have poached that idea from a post on here
westernxer Posted April 26, 2005 Posted April 26, 2005 LOL. I'm thinking about poaching a few ideas from here.
westernxer Posted April 26, 2005 Posted April 26, 2005 I don't have enough drama to provide inspiration... everything is peaceful right now.
BigB Posted April 27, 2005 Posted April 27, 2005 dang, I need to pickup Swingers on DVD. That movie rocks. "How many days till you guys call your babies?" "8 days" good times.
Fallen_Angel Posted April 27, 2005 Posted April 27, 2005 The cute (and unfortunately married) guy at work just recommended I watch Swingers. I said, funny you should say that, the message board where I go pour my heart out also recommends Swingers as an uncanny view into the male mind. He agreed: "Yeah, anything you'd want to know abouy a guy you could get from watching that movie." Sigh. Too bad he's married.
westernxer Posted April 27, 2005 Posted April 27, 2005 I also recommend "About a Girl" with Hugh Grant. Another honest depiction of how men act when they're in their comfort zone. Women hate this movie.
Fallen_Angel Posted April 27, 2005 Posted April 27, 2005 Ooooh wait...do you mean "About a Boy"?! I actually liked that movie. And yeah, I can see how a guy would get VERY comfortable if he had a sweet apartment like that, complete with every high-tech gizmo imaginable. I know I'd never leave. Another great Nick Hornby-adapted movie is High Fidelity. I know guys complain about how we females tend to swoon over John Cusack. I admit he's ok-looking, but he doesn't make me swoon. Then again, I never saw Say Anything. I love how he categorizes his break-ups. I certainly don't have enough to categorize, but I definitely can relate to his music obsession.
westernxer Posted April 27, 2005 Posted April 27, 2005 Originally posted by Fallen_Angel Ooooh wait...do you mean "About a Boy"?! Ooops... my bad. "High Fidelity" was pretty funny. I used to work with people who were very similar to John Cusack's character. If you're a girl, you'll most likely dig "Say Anything." I think most girls associate Cusack with the romance behind the story more than anything else, especially when he stands outside her window with that big radio. I prefer a rocket launcher myself.
ReluctantRomeo Posted April 28, 2005 Posted April 28, 2005 Originally posted by westernxer I prefer a rocket launcher myself. I'll sell you one. Second hand, but only used once. Just wait until after I visit Juliet this evening
mental_traveller Posted May 2, 2005 Posted May 2, 2005 Originally posted by westernxer Yes, Vince Vaughn is a God. He's so cool in that movie. I thought one of the funniest scenes was at the end where he thinks the woman is smiling and waving at him in the cafe/diner. He smiles & waves back, then finally realises she is waving & smiling at her baby in the seat opposite. The expression on his face is priceless!
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