greenhorn Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 I am feeling very low today ? The pain seems to be enduring, it will never go away. Just when I try to pick up my life and start shaping it, I am thrown offtrack. God I am fed up now, I can't understand what destiny wants from me ??
Iris Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 You will have good days and bad. Just focus on the fact that you WILL feel stronger and better over time. This WILL make you stronger. I am also hurting right now as my relationship ended last week. You sometimes wonder how you will go on...but life is testing...you will find happiness again. Keep strong.
Israfil Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 Originally posted by greenhorn I can't understand what destiny wants from me ?? Awww. (((((((Greenhorn))))))) Hang in there. You have been there for me so many times, when I needed it most. So I am here for you now. We all go through these horrible times, just when we think we are getting better, a smell, an image - something will trigger those memories and we begin the descent down that destructive downward spiral. But know that you have the ability to pull yourself out of it. Originally posted by greenhorn I can't understand what destiny wants from me ?? You control your destiny, not the other way around. There is daunting responsibility in that realization, but also great freedom. I know you will get through this. Isra
ReluctantRomeo Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 Be strong Greenie (and Simon). As Iris and Isra have said, this is just part of the process. I'm having an awful day myself today. Most days aren't like this, but today is not good Wanna share what brought it on today? What's on your mind? SympatheticRomeo
simon_uk Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 I can deal with the breakup though its tough. What I cant deal with is her sending me a love song to my voice mail, then saying she didnt mean it. Then getting mad at me and saying I am ruining her birthday for acting on her sending the song! I cant handle being made to feel like I am in the wrong.
Author greenhorn Posted April 25, 2005 Author Posted April 25, 2005 today morning got the news that ex is getting married to the guy for whom I got dumped....
ReluctantRomeo Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 Originally posted by greenhorn today morning got the news that ex is getting married to the guy for whom I got dumped.... Oh, I'm sorry. That hurts. How long have they been together btw?
Israfil Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 Originally posted by greenhorn today morning got the news that ex is getting married to the guy for whom I got dumped.... s***e. I have an idea of what that must feel like. And I'm sure its close to unbearable. But you know what, good for them. Everyone deserves to be happy, and so do you! Think of today as the last page of a chapter in your life that is now officially closed. And of course, as one chapter ends, another begins. This time, the chapter is about you. Just you - your emotional growth and development. Once you have written that chapter, others will readily come, and you will undoubtedly meet some wonderful, amazing people who will enrich your life even more than you imagined possible!
Author greenhorn Posted April 25, 2005 Author Posted April 25, 2005 dont know not having he strength even to type.. they would have been together from the time I was cheated..might be for more than a year or something.. it is so pitiable that I am feeling bad for someone who cheated me and dumped me, some one who treated me like a pathetic piece of s*** ... someone who broke my trust of 7 years and I am crying for that person...I must be the weakest person on this Earth..I am really a pathetic piece of s***, a pathetic loser..I am the most worthless person...
debs Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 No your not Greenie! Your human and your hurt! Mine remarried on Valentine's Day and I said OUCH! And yes with the one he cheated on me with!!! So your not alone!!! You will have good days and bad. It will pass and you will live through it and go on! (((((((greenie))))))))
Iris Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 "I am really a pathetic piece of s***, a pathetic loser..I am the most worthless person..." No you are not, you are just a person (a human) who has strong feelings. For whatever reason and the 'powers that be', this experience happened to you. Believe me, this will make you stronger and you will get over it. I believe that there are some people who feel things more than others (in terms of how it affects their everyday lives). This can unfortunately be to our detriment as at times like this we are more fragile than maybe other people might be. Turn this around and use it to your advantage. You can get through this. At times like this all I want to do is hibernate and take to my bed...but I've found the only guaranteed way of getting a bit of peace and clearing my mind is to get my sorry ass down to the gym and have a bloody good workout. I do this for a week and I start to feel stronger. take care
Pocky Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 Originally posted by greenhorn someone who broke my trust of 7 years and I am crying for that person...I must be the weakest person on this Earth..I am really a pathetic piece of s***, a pathetic loser..I am the most worthless person... Read my PM - and stop the above comments.
ReluctantRomeo Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 Originally posted by greenhorn someone who broke my trust of 7 years and I am crying for that person...I must be the weakest person on this Earth..I am really a pathetic piece of s***, a pathetic loser..I am the most worthless person... No, Greenie, I agree with all the other posters - this proves you're human. It's only natural to have these feelings. 7 years is a long time and won't go away in just a year. Tomorrow will be better, but today is gonna suck. Give yourself permission to grieve and be pathetic - it's ok. And recognise that it's painful but won't last for ever.
Illusion24 Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 Greenhorn... I felt like this a couple of days ago. Bring your spirits up and realize you are worth something. Don't let anyone make you feel less of a man or person. Go out with a friend, have a drink or two, listen to a live band, and laugh. Have faith, it's what I've learned to do the last couple of weeks. I find myself in unfamiliar territories sometimes and I get lost but I remind myself of who I am and how far I've come to let it go down the drain. Please greenhorn, you're not a pathetic piece of s***, you'er a hurt soul who needs to find strength in himself. She's not worth your tears, don't give them to her. Stop living in the past and think of the future. Think of things that you like in a woman and in life. Figure out what you want out of life and you'll find it. I know it's hard to realize that the one person you thought you loved could actually be loving someone else. But it's reality. Don't let her get the best of you, show her it doesn't matter, don't let her bring that side of you out. It's better to have loved and learned than not loved at all. You'll meet someone one day and realize life is worth living when someone lives for you. It's a good feeling and I thought I would have never found it but I did. I had faith, faith in God, faith in me...You should do the same!!
aarsky Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 I know how you feel. My ex is pregnant with someone else's child and all she does is make me feel guilty for not being her friend when he took off and all she did was lie to me the last six months about her whole situation. The thing is if we met our exes somehow then why can't we meet other partners down the road. The difference with me is that it's not my pririty right now and I don't know if it's your either. But staying strong is the most important thing. I know I made it through a divorce, I can make it through this and so can all of us. Just remember who's losss it is in the grand scheme of it all.
sanne Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 hey green, you are a great person and don't worry you will definitely find someone who is that much better than your ex was. your advice has always lifted my spirits up and i want to thank you for that. in a way, i think we all collectively suffer together, but in that same way we all help each other heal. so stay strong and keep your head up.
meanon Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 greenhorn, your love is not worthless and neither are you for feeling it. It's not weak or pathetic to love. Think of what it can achieve: fulfillment in relationships, comfort and companionship in friendships and for children it is the basis of their entire world. I believe it's the strongest who often have the greatest capacity for love because they are able to give more. Of course they then feel the loss more. You have lost your love in the most distressing of circumstances. Don't add to the misery by hating yourself for being unable to let go. Life would be a hell of a lot simpler if we could just switch love off when it no longer makes us happy (and if we could switch it back on again, for that matter). None of us can. It takes time, for some of us a very long time. You've started to rebuild your life. This is a temporary set back, you will recover. Meanwhile, accept that you will have days when you feel like this, that it is part of the process of letting go, that you are heading in the right direction. I know it's distressing when you think that you are getting over someone and find yourself right back there. It's normal, don't make it worse by imagining that there's something wrong with you for feeling this way. Be kind to yourself. It won't speed the process but it will make it less damaging.
Author greenhorn Posted April 25, 2005 Author Posted April 25, 2005 Thanks all of you, I have been reading all the posts and I am reading them again and again.I can't tell how much this has helped me and I am feeling a lot better than morning. I know I can count on support of all of you, I will write in detail later, right now I am gathering myself from the shocks. You all are so helpful, and God make all of us feel better. thanks once again.. greenhorn
Illusion24 Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 No problem greenhorn...You've been their for me, I'll be here for you..
alphamale Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 hey GREENHORNE, just keep on saying to yerself "this too shall pass...."
dgiirl Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 Dont give it much of a thought. She obviously didnt respect marriage when she married you, because she didnt stick around to work on the relationship, and instead opted for divorce. If she's getting married only a year later, she hasnt changed much. Get out and enjoy the sun There's lots of cute girls out there!
fire Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 greenhorn, as meanon said to be able to love is a great gift. i have been through times in my past where i broke down so much i could no longer feel, it was worse than any pain i have ever experienced. i was dead inside and i no longer felt human. i thank god i recovered. now although something happened that hurt me i am almost rejoicing in my pain. write poetry and revel in the feelings. you will get through this, i read somewhere that it takes half the amount of time you had a relationship for to recover from breakup but that during that time the first half of that is the worst. this means you are approaching the end of the worst part. i read your previous posts greenhorn and you sounded awful at the beginning of the breakup. now although you have recieved this bad news you are still so much stronger than you were then, remember, you got thru that, you will certainly get thru this. do not take this personally, never ever let your view of yourself depend on somebody elses view of you.
Fallen_Angel Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 Hi Greenhorn, I don't have much to add, as everyone else has already said such wonderful and insightful things. But I hope you can keep your chin up. I know it's frustrating to feel as though you've made progress one day and the next you feel as though you're feeling the pain again for the first time. I try to take it all one day at a time. Some days I find myself smiling for no reason and laughing at all the things I used to laugh at, and other days I want to stay in bed all day long. I'm impatient, as I'm sure you are too. Time heals all wounds, except deep wounds like this seem to slow things to a crawl. Try to distract yourself in any way possible. I've been watching crappy TV, attempting to throw myself into work, and reading more. Oh, and of course, turning off the radio whenever I hear a song that makes me think of him (this happens way too often!). A lot of people who've posted sad stories find love again. I'm sure when the time is right, you will too.
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