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Would you consider this rape?


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Posted (edited)

Edit: This did not involve me, but someone my ex was seeing after we broke up. She reached out to me for emotional support. I regretted posting this due to violating her privacy and decided to delete what I wrote.

Edited by Sunyata
Posted

I've experienced sexual assault, albeit under much different circumstances than the ones above, but I'll try.

 

If he coerced her into sex after she said she didn't want to, than yes. However if she did change her mind and said "yes I would like to have sex", than no.

 

I don't know anything about BDSM, so I don't know too much about the being under the influence of "play" or whatever, but I have heard from people involved than in those situations, the submissive person is supposed to be in control of what does and does not happen, so if this guy violated that, than yes, she was assaulted.

 

Also what you wrote about her putting herself in a dangerous situation is not the issue. That's victim blaming. If she didn't consent, HE assaulted her. SHE'S the victim. HE wronged her. It's NOT her fault. It is NEVER the victim's fault. It took me years to get out of that thinking because I kept blaming myself.

 

Trust her in what she says. You weren't there. DON'T blame her, EVER. Support her and care if you want to restart the relationship.

 

Do some research on sexual assault, rape, and sexual violence. Here's a good place to start: https://www.rainn.org

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