deadelvis Posted May 26, 2015 Posted May 26, 2015 I've noticed a continued theme with guys who my girlfriends consider "just friends" but the guys obviously are madly in love with my girlfriend. They will sometimes wait for years hoping that if they stay in the friendzone for long enough she will eventually be single and on the rebound and maybe they will get a chance to "hit it" when she's drunk and feeling "safe" around her "friend". Sometimes this actually works for them if they are patient enough. I can't tell you how many guys have just lurked around my girlfriends under the guise of being her "trusted friend", meanwhile planting subtle seeds of mistrust in our relationship and stabbing voodoo dolls with my likeness.Anyone else notice this? I'm so tired of explaining to beautiful women why they are constantly surrounded by lonely guys who the women think are sweet and loyal friends. He's not your friend. He's in love with you. And he's a lurker. 4
computersandsuch Posted May 26, 2015 Posted May 26, 2015 (edited) I don't understand why women often don't realize that guys can't be "just friends." We aren't wired that way. Edited May 26, 2015 by computersandsuch 1
Author deadelvis Posted May 26, 2015 Author Posted May 26, 2015 I'm not saying an attractive woman can't have male friends who aren't interested in being "more than friends", they can. They're called homosexuals. (or perhaps a man who is in love with another woman)
preraph Posted May 26, 2015 Posted May 26, 2015 Since women are perfectly happy being "just friends" with any number of guys, while they're young and until it happens to them that they're ambushed that way, they have zero reason to think a guy doesn't actually just want to be friends. And even if one is sneaky like that, they have no reason to assume they all are. And I do think I've had a few male friends who were just friends. So it's not like it never can happen.
Author deadelvis Posted May 26, 2015 Author Posted May 26, 2015 or maybe those guys just sucked at laying an ambush. for the record, if a woman is unattractive, all bets are off. unattractive women can have real friendships with men.
todreaminblue Posted May 26, 2015 Posted May 26, 2015 it is possible to have male friends who like being friends with a woman.....and yes they may eb lonely guys....doesnt mean the lonely guys are out for sex.....some guys can see a womans heart not body parts......deb
fitnessfan365 Posted May 27, 2015 Posted May 27, 2015 There are rare exceptions like long term family friends, co-workers, childhood best friends, etc.. But I will agree that a lot of guys in the friendzone want more. However, so what? They can lurk and pine all they want. It doesn't the change the fact that she sees them as friends only. I think this ultimately stems back to your own insecurity with your girlfriend OP. I mean if she makes you feel this insecure and paranoid over a variety of areas, maybe you should just break up with her. It seems like being with her is doing you more harm than good. I mean you can't be happy if you're always worried about her sexual tastes/satisfaction, and what all the guys in her life are up to, etc..
Author deadelvis Posted May 27, 2015 Author Posted May 27, 2015 Oh no, my current girlfriend has already slept with all her male friends, she never even resisted ambush, I was more reflecting on past girlfriends.
Inprofessional Posted May 27, 2015 Posted May 27, 2015 As one of those guys who gets put in the friend zone and doesn't know how to "ambush," I can say it's possible to be just friends. It's just not real easy or fun. Personally, I leave the decision to get together up to her, which is probably why I'm so single. I'm curious to see how the thread will progress
cessna Posted May 27, 2015 Posted May 27, 2015 People of different genders shouldn't be friends. I have nothing in common with a woman so why would I just want to hang out with one?
jay1983 Posted May 27, 2015 Posted May 27, 2015 I get a lot gals who lurk in the friend zone and stalk me on social media. 2
smackie9 Posted May 27, 2015 Posted May 27, 2015 When you are an attractive person you will have an army of admirers. If any of those admirers want to bask in their affection's light, hang around and play the part of being the best friend that's their choice. If an admirer becomes frustrated or upset at the fact they will never get to hit any of that, they only have themselves to blame. As you get older, it becomes more evident to you why guys are hanging around. It's a learned process. 1
jen1447 Posted May 27, 2015 Posted May 27, 2015 I see this all the time. I have heard those guys called orbiters. "Cuddle bitches."
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted May 27, 2015 Posted May 27, 2015 Honestly it depends on the guy... If the guy friend is confident and secure they can be friends with Women. If they are insecure and bad with women, most likely just waiting for the moment to strike... Haha.
jay1983 Posted May 27, 2015 Posted May 27, 2015 The Ladder Theory That's more entertaining than this sh*ty cavaliers game I'm watching. Lol 1
Author deadelvis Posted May 27, 2015 Author Posted May 27, 2015 Oh boy. Ladder theory just put my whole relationship into perspective. ****.
No Limit Posted May 27, 2015 Posted May 27, 2015 Oh yeah; had one of these guys as a friend - only that he wasn't that subtle about being interested in more than just friendship - but once he got a GF of his own it luckily ceased. We're more like aquaintances now, barely talk or see each other. Then there's the other guy who really is only interested in his job and career; I do think he expresses those "vibes for more", but so far only toward that other girl in our friend circle (which I'm fine with - once friendzoned, always friendzoned; besides, those 2 guys are fun to hang out with and sex always makes everything complicated, not gonna risk it). In another case I once got to observe it when it was so plain obvious I really had to hold back some laughter. Was sitting in a restaurant waiting for my dinner when suddenly a group of 5 come in - they were also incredibly loud, mainly due to the 2 girls of that group. The girls looked and acted like your typical attention-needy-type - a hundredweight of make-up, tank tops to show off their boobs, fiddling around with their hair and talking only in raised, giggly voices. They took their seats and 10 minutes into observing them (I'm usually not a stalker by the way, they just took the table right in front of mine) I noticed how none of the guys had said anything besides going along with their jokes and laughing when they laughed. The guy with the least patience laid his head on the table giving them both one of the creepiest pedo-stares I've ever seen a while after - sorry, I know most people aren't truly "aware" anymore in their behavior, but this is just plain gross.
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