Jump to content

Why am I so hurt over a 2 month fling, almost more than a 5 year relaitonship

whywhywhywhy

By whywhywhywhy
in Dating

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

whywhywhywhy New Member

whywhywhywhy

Posted
Posted

I was single for 4-5 months after the end of a 5+ year on 1back together year relationship. I lost a lot of weight and my confidence was rising I was just about to get comfortable being alone.

and then

 

 

I started hooking up with a coworker who just got out of a relationship (we were kind of flirting, hanging out before the end of her relationship which indicates it was already falling apart?)

(this was my first casual sex/ dating experience after being in a relationship so long)

Things went extremely fast emotionally and physically. She was sleeping over and taking me out to different places, lots of places couples would go to. Like really intimate places and events. Lot's of texting lots of snap chatting, she was mentioning me to everyone and all her friends that we were "dating"

she would ask if we were dating I couldn't give her a straight answer, I told her I liked what we have, and in my head I already knew she wasn't ready for a relationship as she just got out of one

She went out of town for a week (begged me to go with her but I couldn't because I had work;

came back on satursday

we had plans on wednesday to spend a night and go out of town thursday

 

but the wednesay night of she said she wanted to go out to dinner with a friend,

i confronted her(told her if she wanted to date someone else she could just be honest and we could stop whatever we had ( she said it's just a friend, but she kept on apologizing etc)

i slept on it (well tried i felt horrible) and we went out the next day as planned

and it was kind of awkward at first because i knew something was up, immediately when she got in the car she was all over me kissing me etc. I was low key hurt so I would brush her off here and then, things lightened up and we had a great time visiting the city and exploring. She ended up calling out of work, we went to a movie, and she ended up spending a night and we slept together for a last time (i vowed this would be the last time we'd hang out because I was hurt she could have just been honest)

 

 

from there on she stopped texting me/ snap chatting me. and it hurts a lot.

it just hurts how one week everythings cool and then the next week she's already dating someone else (i can confirm she's already dating someone else and that dinner thing was probably this guy)

 

Why am I so hurt over someone I hardly know? I think what's making me sad is that the sexual chemistry was amazing; I felt extremely comfortable even more than my 5 year relationship, it was extremely natural and I had TONS of fun.

At first I was trying to keep it FWB NSA, but then I guess I developed feelings.

 

Why do I care so much; it helped me get over my ex quickly, but

why am I left with feelings of being used? I feel like i'm just a rebound now how it can get so serious so fast then just dissapear. I kind of opened up to her and she did to me, we had somewhat of an emotional connection, but we had more of a physical connection than anything.

 

I already knew what I was getting myself into that this was all too rocky.

 

How can i control my emotions and take her off the pedestal?

I know there's plenty of beautiful women out there

why am i so interested? it's so bizzare

is it because I opened myself up so fast?

 

I feel unwanted, my self esteem shattered. I'm actually getting depressed and I don't feel good and want to call out of work all the time.

The hardest thing about this is that she was the only friend I have made after moving to a completely different city. I'm having a hard time meeting new people because i'm working two jobs and I dont have any friends to start making friends!!

 

Also is it bad if I block / delete her from social media, checking/ seeing her stuff makes me sad and her posts about being so happy (i already know she's not over her ex)? Will she be offended?

 

this is so confusing.

I kind of told her that she hurt my feeligns and she said she was sorry

and that she didn't know what I wanted or how I was feeling about her so i guess thats why she started dating someone else

 

but idk i think thats a crock of BS

 

 

I just want to get over this chick fast

PLEASE HELP. she wants to be friends still etc. but

how can i if i like her

its funny how much more you "like" someone after they leave

I wasn't taking anything seriously and now i'm thrown onto the furnace and this freaking sucks/ hurts almost more than my ex who left me

 

 

Im losing my mind!!!

thank you for all the responses i know i've made a couple other posts but im' just so out of it

kendahke Established Member

kendahke

Posted
Posted (edited)

I'm not understanding what it is you're hurt over. She wanted to go out to dinner with a friend, that means she's done with you?

 

Had you two had a talk about being in a committed, exclusive relationship yet?

 

I think you're hurt because you thought that a rebound relationship with someone who just broke up with a boyfriend was going to turn into something on which you could rebuild your self esteem after the demise of your relationship. I think that your'e not quite done processing your last relationship and you were looking for someone to distract you from having to finish that process. She's certainly has not done much processing if she's already out dating around fresh out of a break up.

 

Also, never isht where you eat. Don't date co-workers. It's bad policy because now you have to look at her every day and be reminded that things didn't work out as you'd planned.

Edited by kendahke
  • Like 2
kendahke Established Member

kendahke

Posted
Posted

You can't be friends with her. Yes, block her on all social media--everything. This is about you, not her. What she wants doesn't enter into anything right now. If you want to get over it, you have to limit your contact with her. If that means finding another job, then do it.

 

Never allow anyone to get between you and your means of making your living. Get up and go to work--man up on that point. You've got bills to pay.

h0000 Established Member

h0000

Posted
Posted

Actually I think she may have wanted more but you were holding back then she moved on to someone else

  • Author
whywhywhywhy New Member

whywhywhywhy

Posted
  • Author
Posted
I'm not understanding what it is you're hurt over. She wanted to go out to dinner with a friend, that means she's done with you?

 

Had you two had a talk about being in a committed, exclusive relationship yet?

 

I think you're hurt because you thought that a rebound relationship with someone who just broke up with a boyfriend was going to turn into something on which you could rebuild your self esteem after the demise of your relationship. I think that your'e not quite done processing your last relationship and you were looking for someone to distract you from having to finish that process. She's certainly has not done much processing if she's already out dating around fresh out of a break up.

 

Also, never isht where you eat. Don't date co-workers. It's bad policy because now you have to look at her every day and be reminded that things didn't work out as you'd planned.

 

 

I'm not sure why I"m so hurt. I guess I started to develop feelings for her/ or the sudden loss of a sexual/girlfriend type relationship is suddenly gone and I just feel betrayed. Swift kick in the ego though and makes me reevaluate myself even though I shouldn't even!

 

This honestly helped me get over my ex. We broke up for a year after 5 years, she came back and i sadly took her back and tried again for a year and I ended it and it was still on and off for half a year then she broke it off and I haven't been in contact with her/ thought about her for 6 months.

 

You could be right though that I did use it as a distraction, because I was lonely and looking for a something type relationship.

 

 

I dove into this just trying to have fun and not get attatched, have feelings, but I guess I just ended up getting attatched.

 

 

This sucks! We never even officially got "together" there was no commitment,

but I did explain to her if she wanted to date other people then whatever we had going on had to stop and she agreed too that it would be awkward if i was sleeping with other people during the time we were sleeping together.

 

That sudden night when she went out with a "friend" i'm pretty sure it wasn't a friend. I wish she would have been honest and have ended out fling the right way. but things don't always end up that way I guess, she was trying not to hurt my feelings because she did still end up hanging out wiht me and sleeping with me for a last time but

 

 

This just sucks about how I'm so butthurt over something so quick i don't even understand

joseb Established Member

joseb

Posted
Posted

Well she told you she was having dinner with a friend. Now maybe you are right, that it was a date, but maybe it wasn't. Maybe your over the top jealous reaction pushed her away. After all, she had asked you if you two were dating and you didn't give her a straight answer. She is entitled to date other guys in that situation.

 

I'm not too sure why you are pissed off with her to be honest.

  • Like 2
kendahke Established Member

kendahke

Posted
Posted

That sudden night when she went out with a "friend" i'm pretty sure it wasn't a friend.

 

Speculation and absence of concrete fact.

 

Being "pretty sure" is not being "absolutely certain".

 

Besides, as I said, unless you two had a talk about commitment, she was free to go out to dinner with whomever she wished---you had a talk about exclusivity, not that you and she were in a committed relationship. Even FWB's have exclusivity talks, but are free to date around.

 

I don't think you and she were on the same page at all in this--she's certainly not if she's fresh out of a break up. She's not in the head space to jump back into another committed relationship with someone she barely knows. The best you could get with her is rebound relationship, and those rarely work out. Some do, but it's the exception and not the rule.

 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...