Red Flag If a Man is Nervous Going Out On a Date

[Cameron2000]

Wouldn't women consider it a red flag if a guy is nervous about going out on a date with them? Why or why not?

 

I can see why nervousness would be considered a red flag. I mean there's no reason for a man to be nervous about going out on a date unless he has some issue to hide from her right?

 

Cops consider it a red flag when they pull someone over for a minor traffic violation and they seem nervous. From a cop's point of view there's no reason for the driver to be nervous unless he has some illegal activity he is trying to hide. Being nervous will prompt the cop to investigate deeper such as requesting a search of the vehicle and doing an alcohol test or ask lots of questions.

 

It is the same in dating.

[d0nnivain]

Nervous is not a red flag. Nervous after a few dates, a bit odd.

 

I tend to prefer confident men. I also know I have a big, intimidating personality so a bit of trepidation would be a little flattering but if it continued it would not be good.

 

It's not about having something to hide, it's about wanting to make a good impression.

 

To this day I get nervous when a police officer drives behind me even when I'm not doing anything wrong. I don't want the hassle.

[MissBee]

Wouldn't women consider it a red flag if a guy is nervous about going out on a date with them? Why or why not?

 

I can see why nervousness would be considered a red flag. I mean there's no reason for a man to be nervous about going out on a date unless he has some issue to hide from her right?

 

Cops consider it a red flag when they pull someone over for a minor traffic violation and they seem nervous. From a cop's point of view there's no reason for the driver to be nervous unless he has some illegal activity he is trying to hide. Being nervous will prompt the cop to investigate deeper such as requesting a search of the vehicle and doing an alcohol test or ask lots of questions.

 

It is the same in dating.

 

Neither of these are true.

 

Some people are nervous around cops because cops make them nervous. This does not necessarily mean they are doing anything illegal.

 

Being nervous on a date is incomparable with that. If I've never been out with a man or I like him it's normal to be nervous. People get nervous for ALL kinds of reasons that have nothing to do with doing something wrong or having things to hide. People get nervous before tests, at interviews, speaking in front of a crowd, waiting to hear about some news or other, on their wedding day etc...lots of nervousness has to do with wanting to be liked, wanting to do well, having all eyes on you, something meaning a lot to you etc.

 

I always get a little nervous before dates with men I haven't been out with before, or even when I was in a LDR we'd not see each other for months and both were always a little nervous and excited when we reconnected each time. Unless a man is in a cold sweat, fumbling over his words and has a full blown panic attack or underlying anxiety order OR has shifty eyes,is fidgeting, looking around (those are more suspicious like he expects to be caught doing something) it's otherwise fine and can even be endearing if he's a little nervous...I assume that means he likes me a lot so cares about what I think and wants to impress me.

[preraph]

It's not normal for a man to be overly nervous on a first date, but i think everyone is nervous on a first date. Just try not to show it too much and make yourself keep the conversation going by asking her about herself. Women are nervous because they have more to be worried about. All men seem to fear is rejection.

[GravityMan]

Off-topic: Your cop example is off the mark. Maybe a jerk cop would think in the way you describe, but most decent cops don't.

 

On-topic:

Nervousness early-on (e.g. first date) is normal and I think most women and men understand that. Especially for a younger person without much dating experience. For most men, the nerves gradually fade away as he and his date get more comfortable with each other. A bit of nerves when going in for the first kiss is also normal. But sustained nervousness over a longer period of time is not normal and thus more likely to be an issue.

 

As long as you don't let it affect your ability to do basic social things like carrying on a conversation, some minor nervousness shouldn't be a big deal. Don't let your nerves get in the way of having fun and enjoying each other's company.

 

In addition to experience, I think that men who...

 

a) don't mentally make a big spectacle out of the date and don't put the woman on a pedestal

b) want to make a good impression but understand that it's not the end of the world if he makes a minor "mistake"...i.e. capable of shrugging it off and turning the page

c) have female friends and in general just have plenty of exposure interacting casually with women - esp. those around his age

 

...will probably be a bit less nervous when making a move and going out on a date.

[alphamale]

what about people who have nervous disorders?