puppydog Posted May 26, 2015 Posted May 26, 2015 (edited) So long story short, I reconnected with a guy on an online dating website (I met him several years ago) so it's not like he was a complete stranger. It took us a couple weeks before we could go on our first date since he was taking a vacation. Scheduling was surprisingly difficult so we didn't meet up for our second date until two weeks later. We were texting almost everyday if not every other day. It was almost three weeks until we met up for our third date (I was out of the country for almost 2 weeks on vacation). We ended up going to Disneyland. (He mentioned it, I asked him to go and he said yes --we both have a pass) I would say that we were very comfortable and conversation flowed really well (or so I thought). He would not let me pay for anything and picked me up/drove on the third date. I thought things were going well despite our busy schedules. He's a texter when it comes to communicating. I have friends who really hate talking on the phone so 99% of communicating is done via text or email. I actually prefer phone calls but I didn't really say anything since I figured he was texting me frequently asking how I was doing, how my day was going, etc. Well it turns out it's been four weeks since our third date. Mind you we've been texting but it's slowed down considerably. I would hear from him every 3-4 days and he would ask how my work schedule was (I don't work conventional 9-5) and I assumed because my work schedule/off days didn't work with his schedule, he didn't ask to meet up. I didn't want to be pushy and ask when to meet up because the first three dates were on non-weekends. I figured he didn't want to spend time with me on a Fri or Sat night. This past weekend, he asked me Friday if I was free for lunch on Saturday. I had plans so I couldn't. In hindsight, I'm kicking myself for not suggesting an alternative day...or asking him out for another day. I got a phone call from him tonight and after chitchatting about things that we've discussed, he said "I think we both agree that we're better off as friends." He asked if I wanted to stay friends...and if I wanted to keep in touch. I laughed and told him that we're both so busy and for me, it takes so much time and energy to keep up with my current friends...and I don't need another "friend." Immediately after our conversation, he texted me "thanks for taking the time to meet up and for everything. it was nice seeing you again. you really are great. take good care." I'm not devastated, but it hurt a bit more than I thought it would. I didn't know him well but I was definitely becoming more interested. I always responded to texts when I could (albeit not always immediately due to work or I was out) and I feel like he wouldn't have let it progress to a third date if he wasn't at least initially attracted to me. I'm just wondering what I did wrong. I know people can and have been known to lose interest at the drop of a pin, but I'm just trying to make sense of this. Maybe he was dating others? There's been moments where he quizzically ask me if I hadn't already told me a particular story. I brushed it off but I figured he was dating others. I tend to be more reserved when I meet people for the first time....but my close friends know me to be very laid back and I have no problem holding my end of a conversation. It's been awhile since I've met a guy that has perked my interest. I know it's not the end of the world and my ego feels bruised, but I can calmly pick myself up and move on...but it sucks and i just need to vent. Did I just not show enough that I was interested? Three dates in a period of 6 weeks obviously is the SLOWEST pace I've ever dated a guy, but I usually let the guy take the lead in the beginning. Him: 41, me 35. Any comments would be appreciated. Manspeak: "We're better off as friends" = "I'm just not attracted to you" ... right? SIGH. Edited May 26, 2015 by puppydog
Toodaloo Posted May 26, 2015 Posted May 26, 2015 Manspeak: "We're better off as friends" = "I'm just not attracted to you" ... right? SIGH. Yep Sorry hon. Basically had the same thing happen to me this weekend on a first date. It was that good I was in shock as there was nothing that I could say was "bad" apart from his car and the fact he doesn't fancy me... Ho hum. I am afraid the only thing you and I can do is pull up our big girl pants, paint our nails so we remember we are gorgeous and get on with it.
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