ZA Dater Posted May 26, 2015 Posted May 26, 2015 Yes, many people say its not an ideal place but I suppose that depends on what one is looking for. My question is and perhaps this is simplistic but surely females see the friend zone with a guy for what it is, that being just friends. I am attempting to get into the friend zone with someone, because I like spending time with them. I made it clear I am not interested in dating but would like to be friends with her. Surely this is harmless enough? In all honesty I am just looking for friends with her, someone to hang out with, mutual friend has given me some help as he knows her better than I do but after dropping her a message a day and half later I am still waiting for a reply. Rejected out of the friend zone? What's more odd she apparently she is looking for friends. Should I just walk away from this and face yet another rejection? Clearly I am not good enough for friends. Not feeling that great at the moment, some of the positive posts here did cheer me up a bit and its always nice to see other people experiencing success.
johndoe2 Posted May 26, 2015 Posted May 26, 2015 Is it possible that she thinks you only want to befriend her as a means to cajole her into a romantic relationship later? Especially if you expressed romantic interest earlier, she may think you're just using the 'friend zone' as a stepping stone to reattempt your courtship efforts eventually. Maybe I'm just cynical, but maybe so is she? How do women usually end up friends with men? I imagine often they downgrade a relationship to a friendship (break up with a 'let's be friends though') or actively friendzone a man with unrealized romantic interest. But I imagine it rarely happens that a guy they reject romantically actually friendzones himself, so perhaps ulterior motives are generally suspected when a guy does that.
Author ZA Dater Posted May 26, 2015 Author Posted May 26, 2015 Is it possible that she thinks you only want to befriend her as a means to cajole her into a romantic relationship later? Especially if you expressed romantic interest earlier, she may think you're just using the 'friend zone' as a stepping stone to reattempt your courtship efforts eventually. Maybe I'm just cynical, but maybe so is she? How do women usually end up friends with men? I imagine often they downgrade a relationship to a friendship (break up with a 'let's be friends though') or actively friendzone a man with unrealized romantic interest. But I imagine it rarely happens that a guy they reject romantically actually friendzones himself, so perhaps ulterior motives are generally suspected when a guy does that. Possibly and unfortunately I am dealing with someone who is very clever a reading between the lines. Even though I made it clear I just wanted to be her friend, considering she apparently doesn't have many of those at the moment I would have thought she would have at least wanted to try. In a lot of ways I ignored my own instinct on this and confided in the mutual friend and he helped me to compose this msg, he knows her quite well, better than I do in fact. Do I just try and walk away?
Author ZA Dater Posted May 26, 2015 Author Posted May 26, 2015 This is generally done when a man is trying to hit on a woman, but she is not interested. This keeps him around as a "friend" when he would otherwise move on. Best thing to do when you go out on a date with a girl who you don't think is into you, is to friendzone her first. Tell her she is nice, but you don't see it going anywhere other than friends. First off, this will often drive them nuts, and it may make them reconsider you for more than friends when they were actually gonna turn you down before. Also, if lets you save face by not being another poor sap she just turned down. That respect can go a long way with her. This is exactly what a mutual friend said to me! He motivated me to try and befriend her.
Shining One Posted May 26, 2015 Posted May 26, 2015 You're putting in an inordinate amount of effort into being friends with this woman. Friendship should just happen. You're approaching this like you want to date her and she's sensing that. Just sit back and see what happens.
Author ZA Dater Posted May 26, 2015 Author Posted May 26, 2015 You're putting in an inordinate amount of effort into being friends with this woman. Friendship should just happen. You're approaching this like you want to date her and she's sensing that. Just sit back and see what happens. I did that and nothing happened at all. Friendship with me, be it guys, I haven't got and haven't had any female friends has never just happened.
computersandsuch Posted May 26, 2015 Posted May 26, 2015 I think a great idea is to be a friend first with a woman before trying to date. It's a great way to establish trust.
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