7675 Posted May 26, 2015 Posted May 26, 2015 Broke up with girl i was dating last night. We had only been seeing each for 3 months, but i've known her for almost 4 years and while we were dating, i fell in love with her. She is the first girl i've fallen for so deeply. A month ago, she started ignoring my messages, and i basically kept blowing up her phone trying to find out why. She apologised a few times, but carried on doing it. Yesterday she ended things, saying she couldn't be with me if i couldn't give her space. Now she won't even take any of my calls to try talk it out. I'm a communicator, if someone needs space, I need to know directly. Besides, we always used to text each other everyday, she initiated more than me. I always thought love was this amazing thing, but now I've learnt the truth. Love sucks.
Plaster Posted May 26, 2015 Posted May 26, 2015 Yeah my ex needed space. I haven't been able to give it to her by as we have continued contact and it's pushing her away and killing me. No contact mate, it's the only way, as difficult as it is. Good luck. This forum is brilliant for support. Love does indeed such at the times. Youl bounce back.
tylerj Posted May 26, 2015 Posted May 26, 2015 Yeah I've recently been through the 'needing space' thing where she needed time to work out what she wanted. We were living together... To me and I think the majority of people, it seems completely counter-intuitive to a relationship. It's a very selfish act, and to me a concrete sign the relationship is over (even if I didn't want to see it at the time). In relationships, you should be there for one another, and you should be able to communicate clearly, sit down openly talk about and hopefully talk through problems. The minute one party withdraws that, I think the relationship is over. Sadly these days, I think there's too many people who are like this. I think the world of electronic communication has in some ways made people less accustomed to, or equipped to deal with things face-to-face. 1
Plaster Posted May 26, 2015 Posted May 26, 2015 At least your not in denial. I wish you a speedy recovery mate
Author 7675 Posted May 26, 2015 Author Posted May 26, 2015 I'll just give her space. A few months maybe.. If I still feel anything, I'll try contact her. If not, its her loss.
imbax Posted May 26, 2015 Posted May 26, 2015 Yeah I've recently been through the 'needing space' thing where she needed time to work out what she wanted. We were living together... To me and I think the majority of people, it seems completely counter-intuitive to a relationship. It's a very selfish act, and to me a concrete sign the relationship is over (even if I didn't want to see it at the time). In relationships, you should be there for one another, and you should be able to communicate clearly, sit down openly talk about and hopefully talk through problems. The minute one party withdraws that, I think the relationship is over. Sadly these days, I think there's too many people who are like this. I think the world of electronic communication has in some ways made people less accustomed to, or equipped to deal with things face-to-face. OMG THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I BELIEVE IN! I am exactly this type of person. Unfortunately my ex wasn't and me being this type of person annoyed the crap out of her. Then one day she says to me, "I need some space, i feel like you are around 24/7 I can't stand someone being there for me all the time, I just want to be alone, I am not happy, I feel like I am on a leash, I feel as if this relationship is toxic for me, there are relationships out there that do not require THIS much amount of work...." Lies and lies and lies. I only saw her once a week but it was too much for her to handle wtf. Then she says she "tried her best" when she never did. And left me never to be heard from again. My ex-gf never tried to fix things with me, she never tried to give me a heart to heart about our problems. It was all avoidance and burying of the problem for her. I resent this about her as time and time again I would try get her to talk to me about stuff, but she got annoyed and broke up with me. I thought I was just being logical and productive for the relationship. Who knows what I am to think anymore. Maybe I just met a psychopath.
mightycpa Posted May 26, 2015 Posted May 26, 2015 Well, I think that the takeaway here is that people can just plain get sick of you. Not everybody fits with everybody else, no matter how much one of you likes the other. There's nothing wrong with that... it's like two puzzle pieces in a giant puzzle. One piece only connects with a very few pieces on the board, and not necessarily the piece that it lies next to in the pile. Love is great. Rejection is what sucks. Don't confuse the two.
Author 7675 Posted May 26, 2015 Author Posted May 26, 2015 The rejection wouldn't mean a thing to me if I didn't love her, but I hear what you're saying. Anyway, I don't think she wants us to be done, not completely. I might be blindly optimistic, but I still think there's a chance. I'll just focus on my own life for now, see what she says when I get back in touch with her. 1
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